A few weeks ago I was explaining to my parents how being a transsexual makes me feel. I told them I really don't think non-trans people really understand how we feel. My dad replied with, "Yes, we all do, I'm bald. I wear a hat everytime I go out so others won't see it because it makes me feel uncomfortable."

Do you think that's a fair comparison?

No, not even close.

For me, the dysphoria feels more like mourning over a lost loved one, or like a broken heart. It really hurts inside.

I think I am mourning over the loss of the woman that I should have been, had I been born as a "normal" girl.
And it feels like my childhood and my youth were being taken from me.
Feeling uncomfortable because you are bald is no comparison at all to such a loss.

Totally the same. Baldphobia is everywhere and bald people have suicide rates off the charts.



oh wait

No it isn't the same.

Bald is ordinary discomfort due to being perceived as less attractive. It isn't like knowing there is something deeply broken about your body.

It's like my mum said that all girls feel there is something wrong with how they look. Yes, but not all girls think they look like a boy. Sooo not the same.

My best friend has muscular dystrophy; which means his body is permanently different from "standard" guys. He got the body dysphoria aspect of transsexualism instantly. I wouldn't say no non-trans folks get it.

Does he still feel uncomfortable even when it isn't possible for anyone to see him?  Perhaps for some bald people it is similar, but for most don't feel continual pain because their body's don't match their minds, but rather only occasional embarrassment.

a bald 'male' doesn't sit at home in a deep depression about not being able to go out and socialise as he can do that by just putting the hat on.  and once out among strangers he can take the hat off and no one will yell Disgusting Baldie with real hate in their voice as a prelude to beating him to death.

Quote from: Logan Erik on December 06, 2011, 12:26:53 PM
No.  For me it's so incredibly deeply personal and humiliating and painful there's no comparison to not liking your unattractive features.  It's not about looks AT ALL and there's no comparison. 

That's kinda the discussion I get in with my girlfriend. She seems to think my GID is the same as her hating things about herself (weight, hair, etc.). And I can't really blame her for that. It really isn't something you can explain without going through it yourself.

It just frustrates me when people don't realize how deep this feeling goes. Something such as balding doesn't even come close.

I can go either way with this. I am both bald and trans. The hair lose started in HS and so did all the negative comments about it. Yes, it was just one more chink in my armor to attack me on.

Many of the feelings living with the two conditions are similar in nature but very different. Both deal with how you feel about your body image which is one very big common factor. Balding is perceived vastly different in society when compared to being trans. One is acceptable, the other mostly is not.

As a teaching/learning aide for your dad I say great. It may not be a perfect analogy but it is something others can personally relate to, feel part of the same pain, and hopefully open up further dialog.

Besides being trans, the chameleon part of me allowed me to not only be a great design engineer, I also did very well on sales calls and marketing. One great device I used to explain extremely complicated systems to non-technical types like our sales people and customers, was to use simple analogies they can relate to and then build on that. You know when a basic understanding is established when the obvious, to you, questions begin to get asked. My wife really deserves the credit for teaching me that. It worked great on her students too.

 
  Normal cisgendered people really don't "get it" although some really do try to understand what we're going through. Whats really sad is that some cisgender people seem to think that GID is just someone who is couldn't hack it as their birth gender.

Next time I see a bald person, maybe I should ask them if they ever felt like they were born in the wrong body because of their baldness.
Seems like a good idea.

Quote from: Eve87 on December 06, 2011, 11:27:38 AM
Totally the same. Baldphobia is everywhere and bald people have suicide rates off the charts.



oh wait

I LOL'd.

The closest thing I can think of that might be comparble to GID is being overweight/obese.

And i can only think of that because my best friend is overweight.
She hates her body and people hate on her and tease just because shes "fat".

So in someway she can understand dyshoria for transexuals.

But I do think that GID is one of the most ->-bleeped-<-ed up conditions to have, its tough.
But we all knew that

Quote from: JoeyD on December 08, 2011, 12:17:18 AM
The closest thing I can think of that might be comparble to GID is being overweight/obese.

And i can only think of that because my best friend is overweight.
She hates her body and people hate on her and tease just because shes "fat".

your friend probably made herself fat after being born as a normal weight baby

lolno.

I find people "get it" most easily  when I tell them that gender dysphoria for me is like being in exile and incredibly homesick.

Quote from: Padma on December 08, 2011, 02:36:29 AM
I find people "get it" most easily  when I tell them that gender dysphoria for me is like being in exile and incredibly homesick.

with the solution of being able to go back home if you spend lots of money altering your appearance.

and dealing with the fear of people realizing its you and lashing out at you for breaking the laws of the exile

yeah I can see it. I think thats a good comparison

Well, for me it's never a complete solution (though I'll welcome it if I get the opportunity). Because spending all your life in exile means that if you do get to make it home finally, you've not grown up there, people still treat you like a foreigner, and you don't know the rules. But I still want to make the journey.

With me SRS took care of that 'home sickness' - highly recommended from my personal experience.

Other then on this forum there's no more need to talk about it AT ALL.
For me it holds true what was found that SRS was the solution to GID.
Easy peasy, quite amazing and somewhat unexpected also.

Axélle

Quote from: JenJen2011 on December 06, 2011, 11:01:35 AM
A few weeks ago I was explaining to my parents how being a transsexual makes me feel. I told them I really don't think non-trans people really understand how we feel. My dad replied with, "Yes, we all do, I'm bald. I wear a hat everytime I go out so others won't see it because it makes me feel uncomfortable."

Do you think that's a fair comparison?

Absolutely NOT..  Non trans people are completely incapable of understanding how it is to be trans and the HELL we go through.

Just to give him a taste of it, take an entire day and give him a female name and use female pronouns and talk to him as if he were born female and lived his entire life as female.
Don't let up, pour it on thick.  Let him know what it's like to be addressed wrongly, treated as something you're not, etc..  But his little treatment thing will be over in a day and he can go back to feeling normal and being treated normal.  We have to put up with that for a whole friggin lifetime.  At least until we can take the very painful and expensive steps to correct our problems.

I don't try to explain it to anyone as its kind of unexplainable in terms they can get. Either they can come to accept me or not, I really couldn't care less if they understood what it was actually like, just as I doubt I could understand many things about them.