I can't decide when to change my name.

If I change it now, it will definitely make things easier for me. Less complicated for filling out job applications (which I'm doing a lot of since I'm unemployed at the moment), and, well, it would just make a lot of things less complicated actually. And I wouldn't feel as dysphoric, because every time I see my girl name on something (credit card, ID, random bits of mail, etc) it reminds me that I'm still pre-op, and then I just start thinking about how badly I wish I could just get a knife and fix my chest myself. But obviously that's impossible as I would pass out from blood loss before I was able to do much of anything.

But if I wait until I've had my chest surgery, I can get my name changed at the same time as I get my gender legally changed.

If I got my name changed now it would probably bother me for my whole life that I had to live for however many years with my real name but still being (legally) known as female. I know, it's stupid to let something like that bother me so much, but I have OCD and a tendency to want at least some things to be "perfect". And I don't want anyone to ever associate my male name with anything female, even if it is only a technicality, where I would be legally male if it weren't for the stupid law where you have to have top surgery first to get that changed.

Thoughts, anyone?

I'd make a list of pros and cons, and see how everything adds up.

If you change your name now, what good things come out of it? It all depends on your unique circumstances, but I did get a lot of goodies out of changing my name early:

All college diplomas in my male name.
Scholarly work in my male name.
An established history of living with that name.
A period during which other people could get used to the new name.
Feeling better about myself in certain ways.
Of the three main credit reporting agencies, only one still lists my old name as an alias. It's embedded on the last page, I think.

There were a couple of drawbacks because I was living as a woman for a long time after I changed my name:

A few people didn't believe that was my name, and I was once accused of identity theft when a guy was taking an order from me over the phone.
I entered a contest as a woman with a male name, and that info was online for anyone to google (I got it taken care of, though).
I have ratings on Rate My Professor in which students use the female pronoun to refer to me. If I'd kept my girl name until transitioning, I could have started over with a clean slate.
A couple of people search pages have my old name listed as a possible alias, but I'm planning to request that my info be made private. At least some of these services have a provision for that. I imagine that the old name would have popped up eventually anyway, so it was probably inevitable.

All in all, I'm glad I changed my name well before transitioning. YMMV. See what issues other members mention, and make your pro & con list. It usually helps me.

I'm filing for my name change on the 19th of this month, even though it will throw a huge spanner into the works of my life. I'm on food stamps, I'm the payee for my daughter's disability funds, I have court documents regarding custody in my female name, I have medical debt, student loans, transcripts at 3 colleges, an apartment lease, utility bills, a PO Box, checks and debit cards, paypal account, library card, voters registration, and on and on and on. All that has to change, and not all of those agencies and organizations are particularly friendly about change.

But it's getting too stressful to go on every day with a female legal name. It's bad for my self-esteem, and it creates awkward situations. The unpleasantness of it has gotten to a critical turning point, and I'm ready to take on almost any amount of red tape in order to live as myself.

I'm changing the gender marker on my state driver's license along with my name. It takes a letter (not the same as the hormone letter), but requires no surgery.

I'm a little confused when you talk about living as female with a male name. Are you not planning to transition yet?

Quote from: Felix on December 08, 2011, 10:00:23 PM

I'm a little confused when you talk about living as female with a male name. Are you not planning to transition yet?

No, I'm transitioning already, been on T over six months now. I meant being legally female (since I'm pre-op) but being legally known by my male name. Like my ID would still say "female" on it.

You should be able to get it changed to say male with just a letter. That's the way it is in Oregon and Washington, at least. No surgery required. DMV isn't as hardcore with their expectations as social security is. I'm getting a gender change letter later this month, and after I get the court ordered name change, I can get both my name and gender changed at the same time.

I'll deal with social security later, when I can afford surgery.

Birth certificates vary state by state, but I don't get asked for mine very often so I'll deal with it probably when I deal with social security.

Quote from: Felix on December 08, 2011, 10:48:21 PMBirth certificates vary state by state, but I don't get asked for mine very often so I'll deal with it probably when I deal with social security.

Before you change your BC, it might be good to have a couple of copies of the original version and keep them in separate safe places. And don't forget to take care of Selective Service.

Z7Z, a lot of states have liberal policies regarding licenses and will change you to "male" without surgery. Is your state one? But up until recently, such a change could cause problems if your sex was still female with the SSA. The SSA would send out a "no match" letter if a new employer hired you in such a case. They say they've stopped doing this, though.

And if you change the license or state ID card but are still female with Social Security, don't forget that when you fill out federal forms and stuff.

If you are well into transition, do you really want to keep a female name? Is it a name that only women have?

From what (very little) I was able to find about all this legality stuff, I can't change my gender til after surgery. The state I live in is realllly retarded so it doesn't surprise me.

But today I was at my endocrinologist, getting another prescription for T, and it was in that moment, when I had to tell the person who was looking for my medical chart that my legal name is *insert girl name* but I go by Shane, that I decided the whole thing was really pathetic and I need to just freakin' get over my OCD-ness and deal with the fact that not everything can be exactly the way I want it to be.

Translation: I decided it's too f-ing complicated having two separate identities (which is basically how it is right now) so I'm going to see what I can do about changing my name (obviously since I'm unemployed and virtually penniless I'll be attempting to get the court to waive the $350+ fees) and anything at all that I can do to change my gender, even if I can't change it on my birth certificates (yes, I have two) or whatev.

And, Arch, that is good they don't send out the "no match" letter anymore, I had heard they were considering changing that but didn't know they actually went through with the change.

Thanks for your comments guys

QuoteTranslation: I decided it's too f-ing complicated having two separate identities (which is basically how it is right now) so I'm going to see what I can do about changing my name (obviously since I'm unemployed and virtually penniless I'll be attempting to get the court to waive the $350+ fees) and anything at all that I can do to change my gender, even if I can't change it on my birth certificates (yes, I have two) or whatev.

Good luck, man. I'm kinda OCD about some things too, and I have no idea how I'll work through some of the changes, but I feel the same way about having two identities. It's a stupid juggling act. Btw, I have two birth certificates as well, one with a major city on it and one with a small city that I think maybe got incorporated at some point. It's a weird thing.

One of my daughters has two birth certificates, one from West Point Military Academy and one from the State.

Felix: cities can get incorporated?? 

 

I'm glad you were able to come to a decision. That's awesome.

You might want to double check your state's policy; it might be more liberal than you think. The NCTE has this helpful resource: http://transequality.org/Resources/DL/DL_policies.html