Quote from: Solobear on December 09, 2011, 08:23:40 PM
If I remember your other posts right (don't worry, no stalker, just big time lurker), you're questioning and having trouble right now, yeah?
If you take everything as meaning one gender or the other, you'll never be satisfied. If I go out to a club I enjoy doing a bit of girly grinding with my friends, because it's fun (and I'm a manwhore). Does it make me less of a man? Hell no. I know in the early stages it's tough, because you start questioning everything, but doing girly things doesn't mean anything. If you sometimes enjoy doing your hair girly or doing girly things... so what? Eddie Izzard enjoys wearing skirts and make up while being a heterosexual cismale.

Yes, I am questioning, and I am trying to find a therapist in my area. It's driving me insane already D: I know now that girly things don't mean anything, but it's just, I'd give anything to have that feeling when you just "know" you know? I can't stand this. It's costing me sleep and driving me crazy!! 

I've been through so many "Am I/Am I not?" phases that it's gotten ridiculous. The biggest thing that helps, I've found, is whether or not YOU are comfortable with yourself. I enjoy some things that are typically "female." Trust me, I am the biggest Gilmore Girls fan and I spend more time in the kitchen testing out recipes than I do tinkering in my siiiiiiiick sports car. But I just see the things I do as the things I do. They're not girly things or manly things. They're MY things.

I identify as a transguy, but I'm so happy doing things that I enjoy doing. I don't play video games or get covered in brake dust because I want to feel manly. I just wanna kill some zombies and keep my rims looking nice. I don't cook or spend thirty minutes in the shower because I want to feel girly, etc. I do these things because they make me who I am inside.

I think that's the best thing you can do, man. Just focus on what makes you YOU. Don't put too much stress in the gender identity aspect of it. Before you can really become comfortable with how you identify, you've got to identify yourself.

Quote from: Cody Jensen on December 09, 2011, 10:04:28 PM
It's driving me insane already D: I know now that girly things don't mean anything, but it's just, I'd give anything to have that feeling when you just "know" you know? I can't stand this. It's costing me sleep and driving me crazy!! 

ARE YOU ME? haha.  I agree with everyone else -- liking "guy stuff" or "girl stuff" doesn't really mean anything about your actual gender identity. But AT THE SAME TIME, I totally catch myself subconsciously wondering if my enjoyment of [insert traditionally feminine thing here] means I'm really a woman. It's always followed by an eyerolling-at-myself-moment, because seriously, I know better. That type of thinking is just so insidious.

I just want to know, damnit. It sucks being so uncertain about something as basic as my gender. It's easy to obsess.  But hey, hang in there. We'll both figure it out eventually. <3

Quote from: Nygeel on December 08, 2011, 05:24:55 PM
I wouldn't link sexual orientation or fabulousness with masculinity or femininity.

I like my clothes which are often button downs, vests, t shirts, all sorts if stuff. As for video games...I dislike most and get really sick if I try to play FPS. I just like what I like.

Same, for the most part. I just generally dislike games, with a few very specific exceptions.

Ironically for me, I started to get more okay with being trans when I stopped trying to be so forcibly masculine (yes, sounds funny coming from the guy who's always posting pictures wearing eyeliner and such). If you know you're male, you're male. End of story.

With that being said, I hate the whole idea of "spa day" or whatever the girls you've known call it. My mom's always trying to get me to sit down and let her give me a pedicure or buff my nails or whatever, and it just scares the hell out of me. "Plenty of guys get manicures now, its not that weird"? I don't care. Its still creepy.

Boy stuff... Girl stuff... Make it YOUR Stuff Cody! You dont have to place yourself neatly into any category. 

Quote from: Brian on December 10, 2011, 12:17:12 AM
ARE YOU ME? haha.  I agree with everyone else -- liking "guy stuff" or "girl stuff" doesn't really mean anything about your actual gender identity. But AT THE SAME TIME, I totally catch myself subconsciously wondering if my enjoyment of [insert traditionally feminine thing here] means I'm really a woman. It's always followed by an eyerolling-at-myself-moment, because seriously, I know better. That type of thinking is just so insidious.

I just want to know, damnit. It sucks being so uncertain about something as basic as my gender. It's easy to obsess.  But hey, hang in there. We'll both figure it out eventually. <3

Ha This! lol Yeah, me too, me too. I hate how the two genders can be so different. It's driven me to the point where I rant out loud and shake my fists at nothing (literally). Maybe the ranting out loud part isn't such a good idea... I am starting to do that when people are around :S

Quote from: Keaira on December 10, 2011, 01:38:34 AM
Boy stuff... Girl stuff... Make it YOUR Stuff Cody! You dont have to place yourself neatly into any category. 

I think I may have OCD. Everything has to be neat with me. Seriously, if I see something out of order I have to move it or that it'll bug me for forever. Sadly neatly includes this 

I just always kinda wonder, and I really don't mean any offense here... But when you internalize transition so much, so that it's not about the things you like, the things you do, the way you behave, the people you hang out with, the people you love, and then not even about the masculinity or femininity of your presentation/style, what is there left with which to say there's any reason to transition at all? I mean, if all those other things don't matter to your gender identity and if it's that internal, why would it suddenly matter that you're on HRT and making sure people use preferred pronouns? Shouldn't it just be "being a man isn't about people seeing you as a man or calling you a man" too?

Quote from: pretty on December 10, 2011, 02:23:05 AM
I just always kinda wonder, and I really don't mean any offense here... But when you internalize transition so much, so that it's not about the things you like, the things you do, the way you behave, the people you hang out with, the people you love, and then not even about the masculinity or femininity of your presentation/style, what is there left with which to say there's any reason to transition at all? I mean, if all those other things don't matter to your gender identity and if it's that internal, why would it suddenly matter that you're on HRT and making sure people use preferred pronouns? Shouldn't it just be "being a man isn't about people seeing you as a man or calling you a man" too?

Well I am mostly uncomfortable with my female parts (chest especially) and I think I LOVE the idea of having male chest, hair, voice, etc. So I'm really not sure what I want anymore.

Quote from: pretty on December 10, 2011, 02:23:05 AM
I just always kinda wonder, and I really don't mean any offense here... But when you internalize transition so much, so that it's not about the things you like, the things you do, the way you behave, the people you hang out with, the people you love, and then not even about the masculinity or femininity of your presentation/style, what is there left with which to say there's any reason to transition at all? I mean, if all those other things don't matter to your gender identity and if it's that internal, why would it suddenly matter that you're on HRT and making sure people use preferred pronouns? Shouldn't it just be "being a man isn't about people seeing you as a man or calling you a man" too?

Body dysphoria. Regardless of how proud you are of what activities/people/other things you happen to like, if your body makes you uncomfortable, and you wish to have the opposite or close approximation.......it hurts. And its nicest to be seen by others completely as you view yourself in the most basic way. Just my .02 cents

Quote from: Kyle_S on December 10, 2011, 07:48:36 PM
Body dysphoria. Regardless of how proud you are of what activities/people/other things you happen to like, if your body makes you uncomfortable, and you wish to have the opposite or close approximation.......it hurts. And its nicest to be seen by others completely as you view yourself in the most basic way. Just my .02 cents

this!!