Hi all -

I feel like that I have been here long enough to share something important about myself - I have a "disability" (if you could call it that). I am 100% deaf since birth, use American Sign Language, suck at reading lips (but I suck at them pretty well!  ) , and do not know how to speak.

Yet... I am not mute at all. My voice is still functional.

Now - I am not looking for pity or "ooo" empathizing sentences or "how it must be difficult" remarks. That is not why I am sharing it here at all. I've heard them all before, and I am very well-adjusted, thank you. I have no language barriers, other than communicating with hearing people who do not know sign language. I am well-versed in English, so we manage. I have a family who signs (in fact, I have two deaf siblings as well). Where I work, everyone signs, so that is not a problem, either. I have a masters degree as well, so I am well-educated.

So - my question is.... is my deafness a blessing or curse when it comes to transitioning and afterwards?

Because - voice therapy is often recommended to change from a male to female voice. But since I can't speak, I cannot do voice therapy. So, my voice is deep (I presume from what others told me).

Does this mean I have to turn off my voice forever (not even moans or groans in bed?)? Is this an advantage or disadvantage? I can always sign or write with hearing people, so they never hear my voice at all.

Thoughts?

My uni, Rochester Institute of Technology, plays home to the National Technical Institute for the Deaf. Needless to say it's taken some getting adjusted to not seeing people signing literally EVERYWHERE around me since graduation. In my experience, all deaf *noises* and what not are pretty similar cross gender. I would get one of your hearing friends to listen and give you their opinion, perhaps find some deaf cis girl recordings on the internet for comparison.

I certainly wouldn't worry to much, and while I certainly wouldn't call being deaf a disability, I won't say it won't be a challenge. Just remember, all deaf chicks are loud. Very loud.

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 08, 2011, 08:16:42 AM
Hi all -

I feel like that I have been here long enough to share something important about myself - I have a "disability" (if you could call it that). I am 100% deaf since birth, use American Sign Language, suck at reading lips (but I suck at them pretty well!  ) , and do not know how to speak.

Yet... I am not mute at all. My voice is still functional.

Now - I am not looking for pity or "ooo" empathizing sentences or "how it must be difficult" remarks. That is not why I am sharing it here at all. I've heard them all before, and I am very well-adjusted, thank you. I have no language barriers, other than communicating with hearing people who do not know sign language. I am well-versed in English, so we manage. I have a family who signs (in fact, I have two deaf siblings as well). Where I work, everyone signs, so that is not a problem, either. I have a masters degree as well, so I am well-educated.

So - my question is.... is my deafness a blessing or curse when it comes to transitioning and afterwards?

Because - voice therapy is often recommended to change from a male to female voice. But since I can't speak, I cannot do voice therapy. So, my voice is deep (I presume from what others told me).

Does this mean I have to turn off my voice forever (not even moans or groans in bed?)? Is this an advantage or disadvantage? I can always sign or write with hearing people, so they never hear my voice at all.

Thoughts?

Aaaaww... (Jerry Springer audience)
No sorry, just kidding.   Couldn't help it.
So, regarding your question, I will have to say that only you can know whether it is a blessing or curse to you. I feel that no-one else can decide that for you, as it is your life that the situation concerns and no-one elses, so to speak.
Speaking of it, I actually know-- or rather know about- a deaf MTF. She always used to hang with her other deaf friends and she never spoke, although she had a voice but only used signs.
As for her vocie, you could hear it was a males voice, but it was not that masculine, though, so it was not really something that made you jump or something, as may be the case as with other MTF's sometimes.
Don't know if she was open about her status or not, however, which would had been beneficial to know regarding this topic.


As for keeping quite forever, that seems very harsh, I would think and in the long run, actually a bit mentally unhealthy too.

A relevant question: Are you openly MTF or are you stealth?
If you are stealth and wants to stay that way, then you could always do voice surgery if you want to choose a permanent solution and if you wants to eliminate risky circumstances that you feel you have no control over, such as coughing, sopunds in bed or similar.. There are different techniques nowadays too and not all of those are risky, as could earlier be the case.

However, If you are open about your status, then, in my opinon, you shouldn't think about this at all and just be and act as yourself.


In any case, you should see it as a blessing that you are you.

On the show Transgeneration, there was a girl who was deaf and had a really nice female voice. It might be possible to work on your voice, perhaps by feeling the resonance and vibrations in your chest (female voice doesn't vibrate the chest as much as male voice, just the vocal chords). Also working with a hearing friend might help. I hope you can figure something out though, it sounds like an extra hard place to be coming from for developing a voice.

Quote from: Bishounen on December 08, 2011, 11:48:53 AM

Aaaaww... (Jerry Springer audience)
No sorry, just kidding.   Couldn't help it.
So, regarding your question, I will have to say that only you can know whether it is a blessing or curse to you. I feel that no-one else can decide that for you, as it is your life that the situation concerns and no-one elses, so to speak.
Speaking of it, I actually know-- or rather know about- a deaf MTF. She always used to hang with her other deaf friends and she never spoke, although she had a voice but only used signs.
As for her vocie, you could hear it was a males voice, but it was not that masculine, though, so it was not really something that made you jump or something, as may be the case as with other MTF's sometimes.
Don't know if she was open about her status or not, however, which would had been beneficial to know regarding this topic.


As for keeping quite forever, that seems very harsh, I would think and in the long run, actually a bit mentally unhealthy too.

A relevant question: Are you openly MTF or are you stealth?
If you are stealth and wants to stay that way, then you could always do voice surgery if you want to choose a permanent solution and if you wants to eliminate risky circumstances that you feel you have no control over, such as coughing, sopunds in bed or similar.. There are different techniques nowadays too and not all of those are risky, as could earlier be the case.

However, If you are open about your status, then, in my opinon, you shouldn't think about this at all and just be and act as yourself.


In any case, you should see it as a blessing that you are you.

Actually, I dont want to do voice therapy nor surgery... I am perfectly fine not being able to speak. There is other ways of communicating

I was just wondering if it was a GOOD Thing or NOT.... to not be able to do voice therapy

You know, on one side, people won't clock me by my voice in public (if not by my other features, anyway. lol ) , but on the other side, it'd suck not to be able to yell, scream, moan when it is necessary?

Quote from: Sunnynight on December 08, 2011, 11:54:54 AM
On the show Transgeneration, there was a girl who was deaf and had a really nice female voice. It might be possible to work on your voice, perhaps by feeling the resonance and vibrations in your chest (female voice doesn't vibrate the chest as much as male voice, just the vocal chords). Also working with a hearing friend might help. I hope you can figure something out though, it sounds like an extra hard place to be coming from for developing a voice.

I ve watched that show... she has been speaking and reading lips all her life. She is not culturally Deaf nor fluent in American Sign Language. We come from different backgrounds.

Also, like I ve stated above, I ve got no desire to work on my voice. The frustration and the tedious work coupled with the inability to hear myself to monitor would drive me crazy, lol. Plus it would harken back to my dreadful memories of being forced to go to speech therapy when I was a kid.

I realise an N=1, is pretty terrible statistic but I have one GG who is deaf from birth and she signs or writes to communicate with people. Her voice is quite deep and loud. I'm pretty sure no one thinks of her in anyway 'male' for her deep vocals as everyone knows she is deaf and people compensate easily for that.

I  think the loudness and deepness it is due to the lack of self feedback when you vocalise; I wouldn't worry about it. Also hearing people are usually totally astonished when they hear themselves speak from a recording etc. They reckon they don't sound anything like they imagined they would. 

One of the funniest things that happened to me was when I got a bad cold and my already deep voice went far deeper. I was out with a friend and she said 'God, with that voice you sound like a sex kitten' Cracked me up.

In my opinion, and I'm not sure if this is true in sign, but men and woman talk differently. They may have octave changes but many don't; but how they use words, and how they construct sentences are different. The words they select are different. The emphasis is different. What they talk about is different.  I realise these are gross generalisations but I think we need to reflect that there are no sharp rules of when someone sounds or communicates as male or female. There are very broad ranges.

I will also add in circumstance. I know many senior female doctors, they have the brisk, clipped and to the point speech that their male colleagues have. It is almost a 'job speak', and I think we all do it.

Cindy

Dated a deaf lesbian.  You girl's never sound feminine.   Weather your XX or XY girls  you don't really need to worry.  I spent a bit of time with her non-hearing friends and well boy or girl there no noticeable diffidence.  Most hearing mtfs don't get there very so I say blessed love


It's not a bad thing Honey I promise but Cindy has it right on

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 08, 2011, 08:16:42 AM

Thoughts?

I took ASL in high school. TJ Ovida DeJulia taught me...god, I wanted to learn German so bad. We had a field trip to that school in Fremont and that was pretty rad.

Other than that... I speak Farsi and conversational Arabic.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 09, 2011, 03:48:07 AM
I took ASL in high school. TJ Ovida DeJulia taught me...god, I wanted to learn German so bad. We had a field trip to that school in Fremont and that was pretty rad.

Other than that... I speak Farsi and conversational Arabic.

Darn it, now you are talking excludingly about yourself again instead of answering the persons actual question.

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on December 09, 2011, 03:48:07 AM
I took ASL in high school. TJ Ovida DeJulia taught me...god, I wanted to learn German so bad. We had a field trip to that school in Fremont and that was pretty rad.

Other than that... I speak Farsi and conversational Arabic.

Aww you are stealing my show! 

Remember any ASL at all?

Quote from: Cindy James on December 09, 2011, 01:54:35 AM
I realise an N=1, is pretty terrible statistic but I have one GG who is deaf from birth and she signs or writes to communicate with people. Her voice is quite deep and loud. I'm pretty sure no one thinks of her in anyway 'male' for her deep vocals as everyone knows she is deaf and people compensate easily for that.

I  think the loudness and deepness it is due to the lack of self feedback when you vocalise; I wouldn't worry about it. Also hearing people are usually totally astonished when they hear themselves speak from a recording etc. They reckon they don't sound anything like they imagined they would. 

One of the funniest things that happened to me was when I got a bad cold and my already deep voice went far deeper. I was out with a friend and she said 'God, with that voice you sound like a sex kitten' Cracked me up.

In my opinion, and I'm not sure if this is true in sign, but men and woman talk differently. They may have octave changes but many don't; but how they use words, and how they construct sentences are different. The words they select are different. The emphasis is different. What they talk about is different.  I realise these are gross generalisations but I think we need to reflect that there are no sharp rules of when someone sounds or communicates as male or female. There are very broad ranges.

I will also add in circumstance. I know many senior female doctors, they have the brisk, clipped and to the point speech that their male colleagues have. It is almost a 'job speak', and I think we all do it.

Cindy

Thank you for the encouraging words... ever since few years ago when a man told me that I sounded like a man when I was groaning and moaning then clamped his hand over my mouth while he was inside me, that kinda instilled uncertainity about my voice. lol


But I realize I want to be free with my orgasms and not try to stifle it all the time... Other than that, I do not think I use my voice at all. Perhaps laughter, yeah.

Always laugh honey, it keeps them confused

Cindy

On  a related but separate note - does anybody else here know ASL?

I'm trying to learn it with my son. I think it's a wonderful language.

my closeest friend in the world is a 96% deaf dragqueen. When she is out on stage she has to turn off the hearing aids because the music will hurt them and keeps her place in the song by the bass of the music. When people whom have know her for years finds out they cannot believe it. One thing that you could try and this is just an opinion is to "talk" into a voice recorder on your computer that measures pitch and then have a natal female friend speak into it and note their pitch range. even though you cannot hear it you can use the meters to modulate your own pitch to get it a little closer. Now i am probably 1000% off the mark of what you were looking for but this is a random idea that just popped into my head, and seeing as how i get so few random ideas i thought id share.

Quote from: mandyh92 on December 10, 2011, 06:50:05 PM
my closeest friend in the world is a 96% deaf dragqueen. When she is out on stage she has to turn off the hearing aids because the music will hurt them and keeps her place in the song by the bass of the music. When people whom have know her for years finds out they cannot believe it. One thing that you could try and this is just an opinion is to "talk" into a voice recorder on your computer that measures pitch and then have a natal female friend speak into it and note their pitch range. even though you cannot hear it you can use the meters to modulate your own pitch to get it a little closer. Now i am probably 1000% off the mark of what you were looking for but this is a random idea that just popped into my head, and seeing as how i get so few random ideas i thought id share.

Lovely idea, and thank you for sharing - but like I pointed out earleier... I don't want to do that kind of effort and work getting my voice injto the feminine range. It would drive me absolutely nuts to do that over and over again and again when I've got no frigging clue what I sound like. lol.


Honestly... I guess I am just too paranoid but I guess it is kind of a mixed blessing for me .... not being clocked by my voice in public since I either write or use ASL and no hours and hours needed to work on my boice, but at the same time, probably never sound like a female if i do use my voice for the rest of my life, heh.

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 09, 2011, 08:03:43 PM
Aww you are stealing my show! 

Remember any ASL at all?

Just Farsi and Arabic. I figured you knew Ovida. She taught at Gallaudet.

Quote from: MsDazzler on December 08, 2011, 10:40:15 PM
Actually, I dont want to do voice therapy nor surgery... I am perfectly fine not being able to speak. There is other ways of communicating

I was just wondering if it was a GOOD Thing or NOT.... to not be able to do voice therapy

You know, on one side, people won't clock me by my voice in public (if not by my other features, anyway. lol ) , but on the other side, it'd suck not to be able to yell, scream, moan when it is necessary?

the most valuable advice a MTF lady gave me: Its better to use your own voice with a smile on your face than a bad female stereotype voice so i say it may be a blessing!