I'm still trying to discover myself so unless I'm absolutely sure that I want to be happy, I won't tell my parents. I used to make fun of gays and transgendered people in front of my parents and they would scold me for it and tell me that they're people too. Of course, I didn't mean any harm, nor were my homophobic jokes made with anger, I just thought it was funny. I still laugh at the most disturbing, morbid, and politically incorrect of LGBT jokes. If I tell one here, I might get banned.

As open minded as my parents are, parents take a certain pride in their children and my parents would be completely heartbroken if they found out I'm trans. They're Asian and religious (Chinese Buddhism), so they might say something like "God is punishing you for making fun of gays..."

The first time I told anyone was at 18 years old (two months ago to be exact). And so far, everyone I told is taking it really well, even my religious fundie friend lol. He has trouble believing me since I told him on AIM, and I have a reputation for being satirical and for not being serious. However, I trust him because he has always been trustworthy and has helped me through many of my obstacles. (ie. offending my school's entire Muslim population).

I have some friends who I can be myself with, like... I can act like who I am, dress like who I am, talk like who I am... And I just feel really comfortable with them. When I'm with guys, acting like a guy, I feel like I have to put up a show, and I'm quite good at it, since a lot of people say that I explode with masculinity, especially gay guys.

Another thing is that though I like guys, as well as girls, I have a friend of mine who's a gay dude that I sorta like <3; he showed me a song where a guy is singing to his male lover. But, I can't connect with it. Is it perhaps that I'm truly transgendered? By the way, I don't know the difference between Transgendered and Transsexual... I hate subcategories lols.

And I also joined a fraternity, one of the oldest in the country. I wonder how they would react if they found out... one of the things I had to swear upon was that I have to be a good brother. I'll be good, and protect their secrets... But I don't know if I can be a brother...

I think that you are asking some good questions, I also think a counsler from the school would be a great place for you to start finding some answers. The difference between transsexual and transgender is is the following. Transgender is an over arching term that includes Drag King and queens, crossdressers, androgynes, two spirits, genderf***, the third gender, transsexuals and other gender varient or non comforming people. Transsexuals is a term used to describe those who want to use hormones or surgery to change their bodies to the opposite gender to some degree. It is a self identification and can be aplied by someone who has had no physical changes as well.

Huggs

Emily

I was raised catholic forcibly when I was younger and when I was younger, some of that homophobia rubbed off in me that was integrated subtly within what I was being being taught in Sunday School. Luckily, I got that out of my system long ago though - and I'm rather glad my parents never appreciated homophobia all that much anyway.
  Uh, as the different between transgendered and transsexual, that gets complicated.
  Some people would say that a difference between a transgender and transsexual is that a transgender person may identify solely with the "opposite sex" (or other variants even), but may not necessarily intend to undergo any sort of surgery or even HRT-  and others would totally disagree with that, because some people who identify as transgender do undergo some form of surgery - it is truly an overarching term. Overall though, I feel that the labels are really what is important here. It's more of figuring out about how much you identify with the sex you were not biologically born as - like do you feel any disdain towards having to identify as male?
However, if you want to be accepted by others, it seems like you are going to be a bit more tolerant of others differences as well. Not be able to accept other people who are "different" may hinder you greatly in coming to terms with who you actually are - and of course, you said that you are not sure yet, so that'll make it all the more difficult if some sort of bias gets in your way.


Regardless, I wish you the best of luck.

Jason, I have no biases. I just think LGBT jokes are funny because they're so unrepresentative of what the community is truly like that its ridiculously hilarious.

Oh okay, fair enough. If it's labels that you think are hilarious, that's an entirely different story, because societies really do have a funny way of dealing with things. There are so many implications behind a single word and it is likely that there will always be exceptions to those implications. But yeah. xD

I mean, do you want to be a girl or not? It's not difficult. In today's world, you can find a way to look like a woman but to keep a penis, to look like a man but have a vagina, whatever you want to do, there's nothing wrong with it as long as medicine and science allows it. Don't think you have to go all the way on either side, just because of what some outdated person says. Many people have found out the hard way that they do want to mix and match. For example, I've had way more problems with having a masculine face as a MTF more than I've ever had a problem with having a penis, so my face is something I'll tackle medically/surgically first. Deciding what I want to do from there is what I'll do when I'm happy and confident, as genitalia is Trans related, while I consider my disease-ridden face to be something more of a Personality-related cause. And finally, if you don't have any medical/surgical wants or needs, then why come out at all other than to dress a certain way? Remember, don't make any situation harder than it physically needs to be; if you want to come out merely for emotional support, just rely on your friends until you are moved out and financially stable.