Its been a while since I last posted. I've been really depressed the last three days because of what my mom said to me. It really hurt my feelings but if I told her that she would probably have thrown me out of the house. I'm still in my parent's house cause I kept my mouth shut. My parents don't accept me being transgender. I am a male2female transgender. As long as I am in their house I have to keep portraying myself as male, it sickens me. They don't want me to transition at least until I'm thirty, I'm 28 now. My mom thinks that if i don't wait until 30 i am only thinking of myself and not thinking how it affects them. I don't have a problem with my transitioning, if they have a problem with it then its their problem, they don't need to make it mine. While there is the possibility I could lose my job, I don't think I will but I still keep it as a possible outcome, my mom told me that if I transition I will definitely lose my job, be chronically unemployed for the rest of my life and that I will either be murdered or turn to prostitution. How does she know? Has she gone to the future and seen the outcome of my transition? I don't think so. I don't think my transition will be as bad as people think it will be. Personally, I think she's wrong. She also told me to my face that when I officially start transitioning outside of work which is planned for this upcoming April that they will cut all contact and communication with me. Can you believe that? Not only did she tell me that, she also said to me and I quote "if you don't like living as a man, tough, then complain to god 'after' you die". Basically she's telling me that I should remain male and be unhappy for the rest of my life. Transitioning to female would make me happy. My parents are catholic, while they might not go to church their principles and beliefs are still in full effect. I was so hurt by my mom's words that I started looking for rooms and apartments to rent. I have a difficult decision to make. I am still paying off some debt I have, If I move out I will have to pay less each month as I would have to pay rent, which I don't now. It would take longer to pay off my debt but Its do able. If i moved out it would take 5-7 months instead of 3. I had a reply today from answering a room for rent ad and the room is available immediately. I would like to wait until the end of December to move out but if i wait too long i might lose the room. I haven't called back yet to set up a showing of the room. I would like to pay off my debt and save a little before I move out but I don't know if I can stand the type of environment I'm living in. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that my parents let me move back in with them until I got back on my feet financially again, but the response to my being transgender (which I think) is straining the relationship to a point to where I might have to leave before I'm ready again. Has anyone here had parents say similar things to them (mentioned above)? Should I move out? Should I stay? I appreciate any advice or comments. Thanks.
Ida
