So, I'm in therapy for depression and a couple other things.

Last night as I was talking with my wife about our various problems, I must have said something she didn't like, because she said, "You're just mentally ill...you don't know what you're saying."

I replied with, "I'm just depressed, not delusional."

She seems to do this a lot....throws my therapy and diagnosis in my face when we talk/argue/discuss.

I feel like my guts are getting ripped out when she does this...do you think I am over-reacting?

Nope. What she's saying is unacceptable under the circumstances.

But may I strongly suggest you take the high ground here. Stop talking, walk away. This is a block on communication. If she doesn't want to talk, and she clearly doesn't, then don't.

If she claims that she simply doesn't want to talk about that, then that is a condition on communication. She is trying to walk all over you.

Take the high ground, walk away.

Quote from: Beth Andrea on December 13, 2011, 08:52:18 AM
So, I'm in therapy for depression and a couple other things.

Last night as I was talking with my wife about our various problems, I must have said something she didn't like, because she said, "You're just mentally ill...you don't know what you're saying."

Only you can know the answer to that question, you only mentioned your dealing with depression so we can only assume what the "couple other things" are.

I remember my wife coming home after seeing her shrink, she was really having a difficult time with my wanting to transition. She told me the shrink had actually opened her eyes by saying, " would someone who wasn't mentally ill want to risk going through the pain of losing family, friends, perhaps their job, etc..

Do I think I'm crazy, no not hardly. However, it opens my eyes up to how many others perceive me and my desire to transition. That was the only time my wife has ever mention mental illness to me. I think more than painting me crazy it showed her the pain I was really in, and it was as if a light bulb had gone off in her head.

If your wife is referring to your being crazy because of issues with your gender and depression perhaps she is just struggling herself trying to understand it. I can only speculate. I would suggest trying to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Ask her how she feels and why she would have said that. Talking to her may or may not solve anything, but at least you will know where you both stand and that should give you an idea of how to move forward.

I hope it all works out, keep us posted.

Sophie

My being crazy has nothing to do with it , that's just a bonus.

Sometimes people say nasty things because they have to cope with frustration, fears etc.
That's a way to project their own frustrations on you, in the mean time they are hurting you badly.
How to cope with this?
Well, you can hear the words but, you don't have to listen, that's quite a difference.
think about it, it's not because of you what is said, it's because to vent the own frustration.

In my opinion, people are either right or wrong, and wrong people need to learn their place before hurting someone else's feelings, even if they don't realize what they are doing. There's no excuse for someone who is factually and legally wrong to believe they are important enough to be heard over millions of scientists and professionals around the world who have proved facts for decades about conditions like ours, and conditions that some of us may not even relate to but you. Now, you have the possibility of being wrong/delusional as any other person with a mental condition, but the only real way to know you're right is to bring science into the equation - if a scientist out there, especially a non-religious scientist, says you're correct, then chances are, you are. If you have to bring tradition, religion, or opinion into the arguement without having proper facts on your side, then chances are, you're wrong about whatever it is you argue with your wife about. And once you have the facts on your side, you really have to put the foot down and say hurtful things right back; you'll find out very quickly wether that person respects you or doesn't really love you after all, and merely loved you because it fit in with their "perfect American life."

Quote from: Beth Andrea on December 13, 2011, 08:52:18 AM
So, I'm in therapy for depression and a couple other things.

Last night as I was talking with my wife about our various problems, I must have said something she didn't like, because she said, "You're just mentally ill...you don't know what you're saying."

I replied with, "I'm just depressed, not delusional."

She seems to do this a lot....throws my therapy and diagnosis in my face when we talk/argue/discuss.

I feel like my guts are getting ripped out when she does this...do you think I am over-reacting?

That is not an over-reaction. Those words are nothing short of verbal abuse.

A relative of mine got the same kind of treatment from her psychiatrist. It didn't matter what she said, it was always twisted and turned into meaning she was delusional and didn't know what she was saying, and the cure was always more ECT. Catatonia is apparently the cure for "crazy talk". Sadly she committed suicide shortly after.

Quote from: nickikim on December 14, 2011, 05:38:14 PM
My being crazy has nothing to do with it , that's just a bonus.

I wasted over a year with my therapist. He said I was too TTblack and white,and that I was evasive . Then I found out he was stalling. I went for my last session. And he tells me he's retiring, I wait six months for his replacement, who basically brushes me off on my first visit, I now don't feel like I have any way out. How can I start over if it ends like this.  Now why would I feel depressed?

Quote from: nickikim on December 15, 2011, 07:08:57 PM
I wasted over a year with my therapist. He said I was too TTblack and white,and that I was evasive . Then I found out he was stalling. I went for my last session. And he tells me he's retiring, I wait six months for his replacement, who basically brushes me off on my first visit, I now don't feel like I have any way out. How can I start over if it ends like this.  Now why would I feel depressed?

Therapy--and therapists--are a controversial topic. Some people swear by them, some swear AT them...

Try to find one that is more in tune with your needs. If he/she brushes you off on the first session, consider it money well saved.

As for me...I'm thinking about not going to T anymore, use my insurance bennies for the HRT "3 month harangue".