Personally, I'd like to think I still would and passing wasn't at the forefront of my thoughts when I started, it was mostly just wanting to feel right and actually be happy with myself, somehow, someway.


I do understand the importance of it though, as we all want to be seen and accepted as who we feel we are. But I am wondering how many would have stayed in their old lives, unhappy, depressed, etc, if they knew for sure they wouldn't pass.

I think there's very few people who remain totally incapable of passing, especially if they are subjected to extensive HRT and surgeries. I could imagine the expenses of being able to pass might keep someone from transitioning, but as for someone saying that he/she will never pass, it seems like we are own harshest critics and that sort of thinking may have no truth to it. Regardless, I think the hope that we will someday pass is probably what motivates most of us and therefore, it's something worth holding onto. :3

That is a really difficult question... And you probably won't like my answer. But I don't think I could transition in such a situation; though neither could I continue living. I'd end it, but since the thought of leaving a male corpse behind utterly sickens me... I'd have to get creative. I would feel very terrible about how my actions would affect my mom and brothers, but at the same time, I don't think I could stop myself. Not forever.

passability improves with age as many GGs female bodies lose shape and texture and get wrinkles and face hair and the need to be in latest fashion and in thick of social whirl disappears and they become 'lumpen hausfrau' so generally a TS with a bit of dress, hair and makeup sense and some natural female body and face language will blend in reasonably well but the really unlucky TS with the huge bones will perhaps always have problems.

Quote from: Sarah7 on December 16, 2011, 11:07:31 AM
^^

I'd kill myself. Not passing and being happy/comfortable with myself are mutually exclusive. My dysphoria is far more intense than the minimal requirements to pass to other people.

I feel oddly better knowing I'm not the only one here who feels that way.

Quote from: Akashiya Moka on December 16, 2011, 11:01:33 AM
And you probably won't like my answer.

I didn't post this topic to like or dislike responses or anything like that, I was just curious.

And truthfully, if I didn't pass at least somewhat ok, I'm not sure how I would feel. I do know the part of transiton where I was sort of, but not quite, was not enjoyable in the least when out in public.

I was totally unpassable as a 'male' pre transition......and it caused  a lot social problems not to mention people pointing at me,  screaming and cursing and calling me names etcetc.

After years and years of being excluded, in the gayworld too,  verbal abuse etcetc I went into a serious depresson.

I know what it is to be 'unpassable' and no, I couldn't bear it.

Probably I would have turned into a total recluse, being unpassable as a MTF in the end probably killing myself.

I always wanted to be female, but for most of my life I never wanted to transition because I viewed all transsexuals as drag queens with low voices, and I never ever wanted to look like that or sound like that. When I found out about hormones and the fact that you can change your voice, that was when I found the hope and courage for me to want to transition. So no, if I knew I would never pass, I would not transition.

no.

i feel bad in saying this and will never give advice to this question ( at least honestly ), if i didnt pass i wouldve killed myself.

I would answer yes.
I got sorta the same question before and I think its very hard one, But I where transdition and presenting male even before I passed, it where hard but I wouldnt give up for going back to anything ells who wasnt me.

its sucks not to pass, but if you got good friends and people who seen you for who you really are, then your already passing for those and gain the respect you need.

Quote from: Akashiya Moka on December 16, 2011, 11:01:33 AM
That is a really difficult question... And you probably won't like my answer. But I don't think I could transition in such a situation; though neither could I continue living. I'd end it, but since the thought of leaving a male corpse behind utterly sickens me... I'd have to get creative. I would feel very terrible about how my actions would affect my mom and brothers, but at the same time, I don't think I could stop myself. Not forever.

I feel the same.  I loathe the thought of what suicide would do to my family, but I don't know if I could hold it off forever.  I would try, I really would. 

 I wouldn't transition, because doing so and not passing would mean ostracization in this society. In a world that could be accepting I may have, but that's bending the question. No, rather than transition, I would live as a martyr, trying to help the trans cause while being male.

It isn't a great option, but it's better than dying. At least I can still be as flamboyant as I want in this scenario... I'd be myself, but I would continue to avoid mirrors. I'd probably use a female voice too. I'd probably also be on hormones, so that I could at least feel a bit better, emotionally. And seeing as how intimate encounters would frustrate me to no end with a penis, I'd like to get SRS too. And while I'm at it, I would also get FFS. And probably wear feminine clothes, too.

Gee. If I couldn't transition because I couldn't pass, I'd still do all that. I'd just present as "male."

Quote from: toxicblue on December 16, 2011, 12:11:08 PM
I always wanted to be female, but for most of my life I never wanted to transition because I viewed all transsexuals as drag queens with low voices, and I never ever wanted to look like that or sound like that. When I found out about hormones and the fact that you can change your voice, that was when I found the hope and courage for me to want to transition. So no, if I knew I would never pass, I would not transition.

Same! Drag queens have always had a lot more promotion than actual MTFs. For me it was FFS and ability to change voice which encouraged me to look into transitioning - and I came across this online. I always thought hormones didn't do much (and they never seemed to have for me besides making me look younger).

  Being seen as female is extremely important to me so with that said if there was absolutely no way i could ever pass even with surgery then i wouldn't transition. Just like the others i'd probably commit suicide & if i somehow failed at that then i would probably start doing massive amounts of drugs and end up overdosing so either way i'm dead. 

For me personally, I passed the point where I felt to transition or not was a choice over 2 years ago. I was imploding trying to avoid it. I am pre-everything, having had no means to seek counseling, HRT, beard removal, much less anything else. Nevertheless, I have begun transitioning in my personal life. My friends and adoptive family know me as me, refers to me by my chosen name (which I have to thank and bless them for. They all took it in stride and just started doing it), and use the correct pronouns for me. I even have occasional forays into the public world presenting as myself, though my relationship with that is shaky often.

So as to whether I would transition, I don't feel I really have a choice in the matter. However, I do worry often whether I could handle the way things are for me now (rarely truly passing) forever. I wish I was a stronger person, but sadly I suspect that if never passing was a reality, it would lead to my end.

yes, I would, for the simple reason that is not about the society I live with, but rather an act of Independence, and assertion of who I am, discarting a role imposed on me, releasing my inner femaleness,

Yes I would, definitely. Removing testosterone and my beard are necessary to me to live, even if I never pass.

 I'm quite hung up on my looks, but..
I prefer to feel like a woman more then I desire for other people to calculate whether or not I pass in their eyes.

I'd transition
And I would be fighting my whole life to be accepted as a woman, no matter what it took in that situation.