So I've been binding lately. Thing is, I live with my parents and sister -- the changes are pretty noticeable, and everyone knows I'm binding because I seriously have no ability to lie/be discreet. (I'd be a horrible spy.)

Still, I've brushed off all their questions -- "I don't know why" is my standard answer to every query -- because I'm really unsure of my gender right now, and I can't even explain it to myself, so how the hell am I supposed to explain it to anyone else?

So today my mom hugged me and said, "Apparently now I have a son instead of a daughter. [to my sister] Do you know you have a brother instead of a sister? Now I have a son. I want my daughter back."

She continued on in this manner for some time. I was rolling my eyes, but inside I was SUPER ECSTATIC. She called me her son! :DDDD I know it was in the context of, "WHY ARE YOU DRESSING LIKE A MAN??? THIS MUST MEAN YOU ARE A MAN!", because she's not the most evolved when it comes to gender expression, but still. This gives me hope that should I ever go up to her and tell her I'm a guy she'll accept it.

ANYWAY I'm sorry for this stupidly long post, I'm just pretty happy right now. Son. Brother. I really like the sound of that.

That's awesome, mate!  And IMHO that's her subtle way of asking you "are you trans" without having to directly confront you.  Definitely a good sign.

I think it's going in the right direction.

Yeah, I definitely think this is her way of asking me and showing acceptance at the same time. I really should sit down and talk with her, she deserves some sort of explanation from me. omg, I am so nervous. I've never been very good at heart-to-heart talks.

You'll be fine.  I've not told my mother either and she, like yours, has hinted and made comments that suggest she knows already.  The spitting it out part is just pretty intimidating.

Quote from: Brian on December 20, 2011, 11:39:39 PM
Yeah, I definitely think this is her way of asking me and showing acceptance at the same time. I really should sit down and talk with her, she deserves some sort of explanation from me. omg, I am so nervous. I've never been very good at heart-to-heart talks.

I've got the same problem, I've always been very close and open with my mom and it still took me a friggin' year or so to tell her. Sounds like it should go over pretty well though, your mom sounds great.

I want to tell my dad. I love him and look up to him, and I'm sure he loves me and will find a way to accept me even though he's southern baptist, but at the same time...he doesn't really love me. He's a good person, but he doesn't remember me if I don't contact him. He thinks I'm a white trash treehugging heathen.

My god I have mixed feelings about him. That makes the trans thing a little weirder. I care about his opinion of me more than I should, and he hardly knows who I am.

That's fantastic Brian, congrats!

Felix, I'm so sorry about the situation with your Dad Best of luck

My family have had very unconventional reactions, I suppose. 

My Mum has erected a gay-and-transgender-themed Christmas tree.  Not amongst the stock reactions you're led to expect, but still wonderful!

My Gran bought me a man's set of woolen warmers for my Birthday earlier this month.  She deals with most things through the purchase of thermal accessories.

My Dad never really speaks to me directly about anything, lol, but my Mum and I were in the car with him on the way back from a family visit the other day and she said to him, 'P____, you fully support A_____ with all of this gender thing, don't you?'

'Yes,' he said.

'P____?' she said again.  'You do.  You fully support her, don't you?'

'Yes,' he said.  'I just said YES!'

The only person I'm a little worried about is my sister.  She refuses to talk about it and my Mum tells me she was crying hysterically to her on the phone about it the other night.  She's insisting that I be a bridesmaid at her wedding next year and has completely seriously implied that if I don't wear the dress, things will never be the same between us again.  We've always been very close, so this is a little upsetting.  Still, I'm hoping she'll come around.  And of course, I'm going to be a bridesmaid

You have to let people do some mourning, if they're going to get around to being joyful. It's hard to let go of someone you've known for a long time as a particular person, in a particular gender, so be patient with your relatives and friends, let them find it hard if they do - that'll make it easier for them and you.

My old friends were so relieved when I told them: change is happening, yes, but I wasn't expecting their idea of me to change overnight any more than I was expecting me to change overnight.

Quote from: Brian on December 20, 2011, 11:39:39 PM
Yeah, I definitely think this is her way of asking me and showing acceptance at the same time. I really should sit down and talk with her, she deserves some sort of explanation from me. omg, I am so nervous. I've never been very good at heart-to-heart talks.

I'm also terrible with heart-to-hearts. What helped for me was having a scheduled time. It was supposed to be a therapy appointment that I brought my dad to, but it didn't pan out so we just sat in the car for an hour instead. Maybe ask your mom if you can have a chat a day or two from when you do the asking, so you have time to really prepare. But not so far in advance that you just freak out and psych yourself out. That's probably what I'd do.

Also, having plenty of information is good too. I gave my parents a pamphlet for parents of trans children, and I did plenty of research, both for my own plans and so that I was able to answer all of their questions. I think it really helped my dad come around that I was so knowledgeable (compared to the average person at least ) about T and top surgery.

And I second Padma. There will be a certain amount of mourning. I know my parents are really broken up about the fact that I don't plan on having kids (nothing to do with gender, but it happened to come up at the same time ). And I know they feel like they're losing a daughter. They're not losing anything tangible, it's not like there were grandkids in the first place and I'm still me, but they're having to adjust their beliefs and ideas and dreams about the future.

Clive, dude, a gay-and-transgender Christmas tree sounds awesome. Weird, but awesome. 

Quote from: Julian on December 21, 2011, 11:23:12 AM
I'm also terrible with heart-to-hearts. What helped for me was having a scheduled time. It was supposed to be a therapy appointment that I brought my dad to, but it didn't pan out so we just sat in the car for an hour instead. Maybe ask your mom if you can have a chat a day or two from when you do the asking, so you have time to really prepare. But not so far in advance that you just freak out and psych yourself out. That's probably what I'd do.

That's a good idea, maybe I'll try that. We're not alone much, but I could probably manage that.

I just recently got a bunch of books from the library about trans* people/issues. I'm hoping they'll help me explain to everyone the basics and stuff.

I bought a book called "Understanding Transsexualism" that is written for the benefit of families.  It's written quite sensitively, but I had issues with the author misgendering the transfolk she referred to ("he" for MTFs and "she" for FTMs).  Maybe she did it to relate to lay-people, but it's still unsettling.  Also there's a massive emphasis on therapy in the book which was redundant, but the author is a therapist so no surprise.  Anyway it may be worth checking out.