So one thing that makes me think I may not be trans* is the extent to which I follow lesbian content. I watch Sophie/Sian scenes from UKs Coronation Street on YouTube, watch Pretty Little Liars because of Emily, Greys Anatomy for Callie and Arizona, and of course Glee with Santana/Brittany (they're the only thing I like about that show anymore). I also check AfterEllen and Autostraddle all day everyday for any updates. Does anyone else do this?

I lived in the lesbian community for over twenty years --- it's the first place that I felt it was okay to be myself -- I could dress like a man and be butch and nobody said anything.  I still follow lesbian news --- I sit on a board for nonprofit that fights for gay & lesbian rights.

I feel so more connected to the lesbian community than the hetrosexual community -- hence I don't saw I am a straight man I say I am queer.  My wife still identifies as a lesbian. 

I think it's hard to give up a community that is so accepting of folks

I don't but I followed the L Word (until Max was on). That was when I was really early in my transition.

The lesbian community here was not accepting of me and was really super trans misogynistic.

I used to do this well before I came out as trans and before I'd dated several lesbian girls & realized that their community was completely different than the one I actually identified with. I mean, I knew I felt more like a guy, but I think it takes actually being with lesbian girls to know that it doesn't feel right to be dated as a girl and that it probably never will.
  Are you isolated from any sort of LGBT(QIA) community? If you are, perhaps seeking out lesbians could reflect on you being attracted to women (and them being attracted to women) and you're not able to relate to many people who were born female in that way. I dunno. Regardless, being trans has nothing to do with whether you follow lesbians or not, but more as if you feel as if you are born into the wrong body and feel like you can be more comfortably categorized as male. Transguys are still more than capable of liking lesbians, just as much as cisguys are.
:]

I still feel connected to the lesbian community although I wouldn't identify myself as a lesbian. I think, for me, having the experience of being female-bodied and liking women and taking all that comes with it (the good, like liberation, but also the bad, like homophobia) does create a sense of connection.

Hey guys thanks for the quick replies. I've never liked the word lesbian for myself and identified as gay and now as queer. I feel what you're saying Jason. I actually hooked up with this lesbian chick on a party bus a couple weeks ago. I was all for touching her everywhere but when she was trying to get her hand down my pants or up my binder (I wonder what she thought of that "extreme sports bra" lol), I would freeze up or pull her hand away. I never called her because I wasn't sure I was what she was looking for but didn't know how to say it. I live with 3 gay guys, 1 straight, and one who's kinda bi (but not at all my type). I do want to find some gay female friends though, at the very least to expand my queer social circle. But I live in orange county so.. Yea.. I mean I found the room I rent on Craig's and just got lucky finding a gay friendly space with really cool people.

I never been in the lesbian comunety only GLBTQ as in general. but I think lesbians are cute,
in someways im so jelous of lesbians because girl love for me seams more---- pure... where guys are more pervy..
I know girls can be perverted.

Kameron -

As much as I want girls to touch my chest, I know I have to pull them away. I honestly just want to feel a woman's touch on my bare flesh, but then I remember that I'm ashamed of that part of my body. As for me, it doesn't matter what a girl's sexuality is as long as she learns to like me and accept me for who I am. This has nothing to do with "lesbian sources", but more of the disdain towards labels...since their connotations aren't a "one size, fits all" anyway. I just like female identified femmes in general; I have a type and it seems you might too, so it's likely not that you think "lesbians" are pretty, but maybe the way certain types of people who happen to be lesbians dress or present themselves visually. I don't know. Everyone is different is basically what I'm saying. :]

I want to follow and work with this conversation but it's upsetting me where I'm not able to piece together what I want to say. So...taking a break but want to talk.

There's a fairly large LGBT community where I live, but tragically it's mostly college-aged lesbians who have moved here to attend the local university on their parents dime.  They seemed to have formed their own little cliche and are rather judgmental.  They also are lacking in the personal hygiene department so I tend to stay away from them.  Sometimes it's so bad you can still smell their body odor 5-7ft away.  Most of them graduate within 5-6 years with a degree in gender or feminist studies and then continue to live on their parents dimes until they either A) get evicted for noise violations and property destruction by their landlord or B) their parents stop paying for them to live here, so they move back home.

It's really just a cycle here, every few years there's a new stinky batch.

Natkat, I know what you mean. Even though I can be a bit of a horn-dog I'm a romantic at heart and love how sweet some of the character couples I follow can be. And mostly it's because I think the actresses are hot as ->-bleeped-<- lol.

No worries Nygeel whenever you find the words jump right in

Jason I'm with you on the female id'd femmes. I haven't been with anyone since my first girlfriend when I was 19 (I'm 23) so it's been hard for me to gauge what I'm really comfortable with. Back then I wasnt vocal about what I was okay with but did what I could to relax regardless of what she was doing to me, I just wanted to get off. Topping her always made me feel incredible, though.

Epi, when I first tried college a lot of the lesbian community was like that which sucked just because we had nothing in common and the attraction wasn't there.

Whenever I've been in a situation where I should be trying to meet girls like at a bar or Pride or whatever, there always this voice in the back of my head that holds me back wondering if she's even into girls that look like boys and would she let me woo her like guys woo girls in movies and on tv? and would she be okay if I kept my briefs on and maybe even a shirt if we hooked up or could I handle taking my shirt off? Maybe yes no maybe I don't know. Ugh either my life is complicated or I over complacate my life.

I know a few transitioned people IRL who still seem to be very emotionally invested in the lesbian communities here. Some folks go to concerts by bands popular with lesbians, they sometimes go to the women's festival (maybe to promote trans awareness?), and they sometimes eat at principally lesbian hangouts (but other people go there, too).

I have never really understood this, but people do what they are comfortable with--I have my own little quirks. An investment in the lesbian community doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't trans. That would mean that my acquaintances have transitioned by mistake! But after five or ten years, this seems unlikely.

Arch, yea I was gonna say for example I like the band Sick of Sarah and really want to see them live. But I'm not really invested in the lesbian community in that I'm not involved in the lgbt community at all. I hang out with my straight male roomie and my straight brother mostly. And then we go to gay bars (usually with all men) with our other roommates cause he has a girlfriend anyways. Sometimes I think my problem is that I'm so binary minded in regards to gender when maybe I'm genderqueer (though some T effects are appealing).

Quote from: Kameron on December 21, 2011, 07:11:12 PM
Epi, when I first tried college a lot of the lesbian community was like that which sucked just because we had nothing in common and the attraction wasn't there.

Whenever I've been in a situation where I should be trying to meet girls like at a bar or Pride or whatever, there always this voice in the back of my head that holds me back wondering if she's even into girls that look like boys and would she let me woo her like guys woo girls in movies and on tv? and would she be okay if I kept my briefs on and maybe even a shirt if we hooked up or could I handle taking my shirt off? Maybe yes no maybe I don't know. Ugh either my life is complicated or I over complacate my life.

It seems the lesbians change every few years but how they act doesn't.  It's really just one big party to them and it's a huge annoyance to me that my towns queer community seems as if it was scripted from the L-Word (+hepatitis).  There's some older gay men and a fairly good size transgender population, but it seems the MtF's are shunned and the FtM's associated with the University just hang out with the college lesbians.

The main reason I never watched the L-Word is because I can just go downtown and see it live myself.  (Yes, I take hand sanitizer with me.)

Quote from: Epi on December 21, 2011, 08:39:20 PM
There's some older gay men and a fairly good size transgender population, but it seems the MtF's are shunned and the FtM's associated with the University just hang out with the college lesbians.

The number 1 reason why I disliked the lesbian community was the trans misogyny and seeing trans men as butch + or some type of hot type of person while trans women are seen as super conservative and perverts.

There's also problems I have with trans men who are attracted to women as identifying as queer. It sounds like not validating your gender or wanting "it all."

I do! I watch shows like Pretty Little Liars and Glee for the queer women (though I'm also interested in the gay guys ) and Autostraddle is basically the best website ever. Like you, I wondered if this was a sign; but I really don't think that's the case anymore. By following lesbian culture I could finally fit in and be masculine without anyone judging me for it. 

Quote from: Nygeel on December 21, 2011, 08:59:19 PM
There's also problems I have with trans men who are attracted to women as identifying as queer. It sounds like not validating your gender or wanting "it all."

This actually doesn't bother me.  I can understand and respect that some people don't fall into or identify with the gender binary system or prefer to use the umbrella term "queer" to identify themselves.  (It's like saying, I enjoy apples, without specifying if you prefer Fuji or Granny Smith.)  I also don't think dating a queer woman makes a trans (or cis man for that matter) less of a man because of their choice in partner.  But I do think it creates some separation; whether intentional or not, between transmen who don't identify as such or socialize in those "cliches" and "communities".

Quote from: Epi on December 21, 2011, 09:09:32 PM
This actually doesn't bother me.  I can understand and respect that some people don't fall into or identify with the gender binary system or prefer to use the umbrella term "queer" to identify themselves.  (It's like saying, I enjoy apples, without specifying if you prefer Fuji or Granny Smith.)  I also don't think dating a queer woman makes a trans (or cis man for that matter) less of a man because of their choice in partner.  But I do think it creates some separation; whether intentional or not, between transmen who don't identify as such or socialize in those "cliches" and "communities".

No...I'm talking about a trans man who dates women and only women being queer. It just seems like a guy that likes only women is pretty straight. Plus there are queer trans men who are attracted to men...which IMO makes sense. Plus being a trans man is binary.

There is also trans men that know they're trans, identify as men, but still think they should still be allowed in women's only spaces. There was a "women only" event where it was only for people AFAB...and really a cis guy could go in and pretend to be a trans man.

Quote from: Nygeel on December 21, 2011, 09:21:18 PM
No...I'm talking about a trans man who dates women and only women being queer. It just seems like a guy that likes only women is pretty straight. Plus there are queer trans men who are attracted to men...which IMO makes sense. Plus being a trans man is binary.

There is also trans men that know they're trans, identify as men, but still think they should still be allowed in women's only spaces. There was a "women only" event where it was only for people AFAB...and really a cis guy could go in and pretend to be a trans man.

Sometimes things aren't really a matter of understanding, but more so accepting.  While you and I may not completely get or be able to relate to other individuals, it's not really our place to project an "identity" onto someone if they fall within these "certain parameters" regardless of how they identify personally.

Transmen identifying as men but still wanting access to womyn only events is an each his own thing to me; example: Mich. Womyn's Festival.  I think it's a great thing and also a sad thing these types of segregated spaces exist.  A lot of individuals are too concerned with race, religion, ethnicity, sex, gender, orientation, etc; that they fail to see that all problems are human problems that affect everyone; directly and indirectly.

Even if I don't completely agree with a person, I'm going to accept them for who they are (queer, bi, trans, cis, unicorns, furry) because I wish to receive the same treatment in return without judgment or prejudice.