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Making amends with a girl I hurt several years ago.

Started by Mahsa Tezani, December 23, 2011, 01:21:05 AM

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Mahsa Tezani

It twas 2005 and I was "dating" this girl named Crystal. Now her and I weren't as much dating, as we had a mutual admiration for each other. I found her extremely interesting, despite not being the prettiest girl. She was fairly androgynous, borderline lez, and a math wiz. Her fave movies were "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" and she was in love with gay men.

One night I went over to her house, and one thing lead to another...and WE ENDED SLEEPING TOGETHER...By together, I mean next to each other. I had ever opportunity to rip off her clothes and become a "man", but couldn't. I lost my virginity with a man a few years earlier and had been looking for a "beard".

So basically, we had fun making out and humping. But the next week, she invited me over to her place and told me she couldn't go further. I responded by saying I wanted to "<not allowed>" her hot ass roommate instead of her. She then got pissed off at me and kicked me out of the house. She said she would kick my ass if she ever saw me again.

Then I figured out she rejected me for some hippy guy. Of course, the rejection meant encountering my sexuality...and eventually my gender. I was pissed, not because she rejected me and I acted like an ->-bleeped-<-. The entire time I was with her, my "gayness" constantly came up. It was rather because she had lied to me and at the time rejected me for someone else. I trolled her webpage a couple of times...and actually became a conservatarian.

Basically, fast forward to today. I saw one of her best friends at the store. I talked to her, we became cool. She added me on fb and I found Crystals profile...

I want to make amends with Crystal...But am afraid to. I think she being one of the two girls I was intimate in the past decade. I think I should tell her how much her rejection inspired me...and eventually made sense for me to transition.

But I don't know how. It's been 6 years. I thought her was an awesome friend and I wish I hadn't ->-bleeped-<-ed up everything. I want to apologize to her and for her to see the results of her rejection...
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Siobhan

Try comtact via phone,fb or email first,in case she still wants to kick your ass ;)
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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: Siobhan on December 23, 2011, 01:38:59 AM
Try comtact via phone,fb or email first,in case she still wants to kick your ass ;)

Actually, she has a fb... But might not know who the hell I am.
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Maja.V

Quote from: Siobhan on December 23, 2011, 01:38:59 AM
Try comtact via phone,fb or email first,in case she still wants to kick your ass ;)

I'll second the notion, though I'm inclined more towards e-mail. You can type out a long apology message (or whatever), and she'll have time to process it. If it's done over the phone or through instant messages, she might be quick to anger, or unknowing of what to respond with.

AbraCadabra

Honey, just say what you have to say about it (not too long) sort of what you posted here, BUT leave out the 4 letter bits, um.

She may respond, - or may not respond.

I did something in that vein some month ago and never got any reply --- so if that happens... no reply is also a "reply", then you will know, and no one can say you haven't tried.

Hope for the best – and expect the worst ;-)

Axélle
Some say: "Free sex ruins everything..."
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sonopoly

I'm sure she's fine about the whole thing, and after all she rejected you.  I doubt if she's mad at you at all.  She's most likely moved way on.  Sorry, but I think you think that you impact people way more than you really do.  She's probably not devastated and her life wasn't ruined completely, as you may believe.  I hope that makes you feel better and not worse.  It should.
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0451

What's the worst she's gonna do?  Kick your ass on facebook?
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Emily Ray

I have reconnected with quite a few past friends on facebook. They allow you to send a personal message with your friend request. I have used that to explain who I am and why I am asking to be friends because my facebook account is in my new name. I would apologize for you assinine immature behavior and explain how much you valued her friendship after it was gone.

You are a different person now. You have to take responsibility for your past actions, but you didn't do them. I think this is true for both trans and cis geneder people.

I wish you the best!

Huggs

Emily
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MsDazzler

Go for it but don't sweat it if it does not work out
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fionabell

I think you enjoy being abnormal and now that you are a woman you want to become a lesbian. :laugh:
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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: fionabell on December 23, 2011, 04:38:45 PM
I think you enjoy being abnormal and now that you are a woman you want to become a lesbian. :laugh:

Not really.

I like them boys more.
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MsDazzler

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