I remember being in Thailand and sometimes being addressed as something that sounded like a cross between "Sa" and "Sir". This got me paranoid as I had never been sirred since pre transition, but I thought perhaps in thailand, trans people were more prevalent and they could somehow 'tell'. However, I was relieved when my (GG) female friends I was with were also addressed in the same way, so I figured it was some form of address that Thai people used, even when speaking English. Might be useful to know for anyone going to Thailand!

Quote from: monica93304 on December 26, 2011, 03:42:08 PM
I've had worse service at Denny's as a male than as a female. Go figure.

I think you'd have to go to the middle east to get good service as a male these days. Males are like 1.1 class citizens in the west. Mind you, if I had my way they be at least 1.5

I've been SIRed before and it's not a pleasant experience. As a result, it kickstarted a very bad night for me, minimally!

Quote from: fionabell on December 26, 2011, 03:53:25 PM
I think you'd have to go to the middle east to get good service as a male these days. Males are like 1.1 class citizens in the west. Mind you, if I had my way they be at least 1.5

I have no idea what is going on here- explain plox?

Well, I can see why you would get mad at him not apologizing... but, I have a feeling that isn't where the real anger is coming from.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you more angry that he clocked you? And called you by your former gender?

If this is the problem.. well, you can't really blame him (you can definitely be upset about it! I would! ... but... you can't expect the rest of the world to know how to handle us...)

Not everyone is really up to date on how to refer to the trans community. Even we get confused a lot of the time!! Normally people just go with whatever they identify the persons born gender (and, normally that isn't really a problem... you can ~and many do~ live your entire life without running into an issue from that). Most people simply have never had contact with trans people (that they know of)... they MIGHT have seen one from a distance, but actually getting to a point of talking to them? Or even further to a discussion on proper etiquette?

Then there is the issue of if you weren't passing... well, at least if it was me, I would want to know.

If I ever go full time and this happened, I would definitely be upset... but, the anger would be directed more at the sittuation... I wouldn't direct it at the waiter (except for the not apologizing thing).

Quote from: tekla on December 26, 2011, 03:29:34 PM
What's a big tip at Denny's?  A couple of bucks?  Three maybe if you order the big specials.  What do you expect for three bucks?

In the San Francisco downtown area, I found that most restaurants already charged the tip in the bill, and I did not have any chance to change it  .

By the Way, in SF, most employees in the hotel SIRed me, while those street people always called me as lady.  Some street women even tried to grasp my hands.

And, the downtown stores were so much luxurious while so many street people were there. Too much contrasting. The number of street people there was probably higher than NY. Certainly highest among cities I have ever visited. Why doesn't the state or local government do anything for them? How about building some shelters for them? I saw some people sleep in the street while it rained.

Barbie~~

Quote from: Rabbit on December 26, 2011, 06:24:05 PM
Well, I can see why you would get mad at him not apologizing... but, I have a feeling that isn't where the real anger is coming from.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you more angry that he clocked you? And called you by your former gender?

If this is the problem.. well, you can't really blame him (you can definitely be upset about it! I would! ... but... you can't expect the rest of the world to know how to handle us...)

Not everyone is really up to date on how to refer to the trans community. Even we get confused a lot of the time!! Normally people just go with whatever they identify the persons born gender (and, normally that isn't really a problem... you can ~and many do~ live your entire life without running into an issue from that). Most people simply have never had contact with trans people (that they know of)... they MIGHT have seen one from a distance, but actually getting to a point of talking to them? Or even further to a discussion on proper etiquette?

Then there is the issue of if you weren't passing... well, at least if it was me, I would want to know.

If I ever go full time and this happened, I would definitely be upset... but, the anger would be directed more at the sittuation... I wouldn't direct it at the waiter (except for the not apologizing thing).

What she said ^^

If you were dressed as you say I am assuming he did it on purpose. I do not know you, nor do I know how you were dressed but maybe it was a bit over the top. Please don't take offense, its just my assumption.

I noticed about a year ago when I was getting gendered female while presenting male if I girl-ed it up just a bit I seemed to get some questionable looks but still not sir'ed. I would get the occasional greeting of no pronoun when one may have been needed. That to me was getting sir'ed

not at all over the top, I was wearing dickies pants, with a t-shirt and a hoody jacket. my bracelets, and earings. very plain but girly actually. The hostess in the womens restroom didn't  give me a second glance while I went in there. Then theres the other Dennys where all went well.

I looked kinda like this, minus the reindeer antlers!

I'm going to reply to Barbie here;
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,112883.0/topicseen.html