my mom got me a new stocking as in a new christmas stocking that has parker on it as opposed to my birth name. wich got me thinking about all the signs of support that she has given me.

-last december she had my optometrist appointment as parker (so i was stealth ).
-she told her family to call me parker because i was to much of a pussy to do it     myself.
-she told my orthodontist to call me parker.
-she told my doctor to call me parker.
-she was cool with the idea of me getting a prosthetic, dad wasnt.

so, so far my mother has been great she has been one of, if not the best. so im just really grateful.

so this brings up another thing that she isnt supportive about. she has been resisting the idea of going on T. she says im to young to be making these life changing decision. she also is against me getting top surgery when im 18 she thinks being 18 is still to young to be making such big life decisions.

i really hate this argument because im making huge life decisions already; to try or not to try when it comes to school, what college to go to, my career path, whether or not to do drugs, and, more. also i think making a life decision is only bad when you make the wrong decision, so she things im wrong about being trans or she is hoping im wrong about being trans.

sorry for the rant, just had to put it out there. its been stuck in my mind for to long.

Sorry to hear that, mate - but it's nice to know that she's at least partially onboard.  IMHO it sounds like she may be hoping this is just a phase and you'll "come around".  The only thing I can tell you is to keep the lines of communication open with her and try to educate her.  I'm sure she'll come to accept you for the man you are.  Sometimes people deal with things a step at a time - maybe her helping you with the name thing is her first step.

If I were a parent I would be concerned about the medical risks. I suppose you could take her to the doctor with you and let your doc share with your mom or dad how T works and is prescribed and regulated. If they know it isn't going to give you roid rage or turn you into rambo over night they might be okay with it.

I second what Kreuzfidel said. Make sure you keep communicating, and provide (but don't bombard ) her with plenty of information. I can send you a link to a great pamphlet for parents of trans children, but I'm not sure that would be exactly what you need, since it doesn't go into great detail about hormones or surgery.

One thing that really helped my mom was coming to gender therapy with me. It helped her understand where I was coming from, what I needed, and why I needed it. The appointment my dad was supposed to come to didn't pan out so we just sat and talked for an hour. It really helped too. I explained how I identified, but I think what really helped him come around was how informed I was. I know how top surgery is done and what the results and possible complications are, I know what procedure is right for me, I know the effects of going on T, I know what the possible unwanted risks and side effects are. And I was able to explain this all to him.

At 20, I'm older than you (though I don't know by how much), and I'm not sure my parents would have been so understanding if I were even a few years younger. So I suggest taking them with you to a therapy appointment and a doctor's appointment, so that a professional can back you up on what you tell them. I needed two therapists to agree that I needed top surgery before they fully came around.

Your parents seem wonderful. The stocking story is so cute. My stocking doesn't have my name on it, otherwise I wonder if my mom would think to do the same.

Your mom is being way more supportive than most. There are guys years into physical transition who's family still refuses to refer to them as anything other than their birthname.  Surgery and hormones are huge things that do have risks and I can understand your mom's worry.  Another thing is that she might be supportive of you being called Parker, living male, etc, but no surgery or hormones in the hopes that this is just a phase, or something you are experimenting with.

I'm lucky in that our stockings don't have names on them, though me and my sister's are red and my brothers is green but I'm ok with that as long as names aren't on there.

i came up with what i think will be an effective way to convince her.

i will give her my "life plan" its a thing my doc made me do but im super proud of it i think this will help her see my point of view (without me trying to tell her and getting frustrated) and see that i have a plan and that getting on T is important to me.

also i want to give her some parts of the WPATH standards of care because there is a ton of good credible info in there which she has always said that she wants to talk to a doctor about T before even considering it. so maybe reading something by doctors for doctors would help her get over her reservations.

She sounds awesome, but typical of people who don't quite understand, she is fearful you will do something you might later regret.  She doesn't understand how transition can be helpful.

Even my own mother, who has been very supportive, still has moments where she freaks out and says unkind things.  I'm guessing it is her way of processing it.  But she has said things like my surgery was mutilation, that I'm still a mother and she can call me mom, etc.  Very aggravating things that piss me off.  But she uses my name and proper pronouns for the most part.

Hang in there.


Jay

Here is a like with great information about FTM's including hormones and what they will do and what not.

http://www.ftmguide.org/

Mom's.....can be sooo tricky to deal with! congrats for yours, though, because consistently calling you by
your 'real' name is an absolute success! With mine, even though she knows for years now and with me
having started therapy a couple of months ago, she should get used to the idea that I'm serious about it,
she still refuses to adjust day-to-day routines, for example, buying me guy's underwear and socks and stuff,
or chosing something really nice for x-mas! She knows how important it is for me and I almost expected a
pair of boxers or something explicitly masculine as a present, but, no, she just got a cheap soap and bathfoam
gift box! WTF! I was so annoyed...and returned the soap and got myself some nice underwear instead- merry x-mas
my a...e!

you've got all the time in the world. waiting a while won't make you less passable in the end.