Do you have a marked tendency to see the opposite biological sex in an idealised way?    Men are strong, commanding, driven, independent, adventurous, wilfull, masterful.  They are always in control in every situation dream the FTMs.  Meanwhile the MTFs dream women are soft and caring, pretty and delicate, endlessly empathetic, selflessly loving, thin, pretty, and feminine in mind, body, and soul.


In reality there are weak, dependent 'please tell me what to do' men.   Men who are the living breathing incarnation of dullness, dreariness, and passivity.  Also there are women who are built like a carthorse, who have zero sense of style are as feminine as a grizzly bear and as empathetic as a shark.

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PM
Do you have a marked tendency to see the opposite biological sex in an idealised way?    Men are strong, commanding, driven, independent, adventurous, wilfull, masterful.  They are always in control in every situation dream the FTMs.  Meanwhile the MTFs dream women are soft and caring, pretty and delicate, endlessly empathetic, selfishly loving, thin, pretty, and feminine in mind, body, and soul.


In reality there are weak, dependent 'please tell me what to do' men.   Men who are the living breathing incarnation of dullness, dreariness, and passivity.  Also there are women who are built like a carthorse, who have zero sense of style are as feminine as a grizzly bear and as empathetic as a shark.

Thankyou - this is an obvious truth but one that is so often ignored. I think that people have selective perception and tend to only notice more examples that fit in with their view of the world and then feel justified in their views. It's like when you learn a new word and suddenly you see it everywhere, because it has been brought into existence within your consciousness - but when it wasn't there you probably didn't notice it.

Having been raised in a culture where the "ideal man" is the stereotypically rugged, independent, strong, beer-drinking, sports-loving bloke who worked his fingers to the bone doing "men's work", I grew up believing that real men embodied all those things and that anyone different was soft or lazy.  But as I matured, I met men outside of my culture who weren't necessarily stereotypical, but who were respectable and strong in other ways.  I fit my cultural stereotype in some ways and deviate in others, but that's just me.  Once upon a time I may have felt not manly enough for liking musicals, piano and costume design but not now.  My cisfemale family members are stereotypical uber-feminists except my sister, so I have trouble relating to ciswomen sometimes.

Interesting post. I find myself relating to many aspects of it.

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PM
Do you have a marked tendency to see the opposite biological sex in an idealised way? 

Yeah quite often sadly.

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PMMen are strong, commanding, driven, independent, adventurous, wilfull, masterful.  They are always in control in every situation dream the FTMs.

Having been born a male I fit most of this when I'm playing my role expected from my slice of society, and I do a pretty good job also I think based on the opinions of those around me.

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PMMeanwhile the MTFs dream women are soft and caring, pretty and delicate, endlessly empathetic, selflessly loving, thin, pretty, and feminine in mind, body, and soul.

However this here is what I wish I could be. I know it's idealized and probably quite naive, but I can't help it. At least though I know it's just a wish and not a reality. It's usually easier to ignore that sad fact though and pretend it could happen someday.

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PMIn reality there are weak, dependent 'please tell me what to do' men.   

This is probably what most people would think of me if they knew what I wished, and why I have such a hard time with coming to terms with all of this. Men are not supposed to be like this, if they are, then they're weak and pathetic and all that lovely stuff to shame you into being a "real man"

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PMMen who are the living breathing incarnation of dullness, dreariness, and passivity.

Thankfully never been accused of this at least, I tend to make others laugh a lot and am easy to talk a long time with.

Quote from: Happy Girl! on December 26, 2011, 04:50:00 PMAlso there are women who are built like a carthorse, who have zero sense of style are as feminine as a grizzly bear and as empathetic as a shark. 

These are the type of women I've always attracted. Which has never helped my situation and if anything just pushed me further into my "role" of lack of showing feelings and being the tough man stereotype.

So yeah, I get what your pointing out, and have to agree at least based on myself, that it is perspective some of us probably do share. I'm sure many are a lot more realistic with their outlooks.

QuoteDo you have a marked tendency to see the opposite biological sex in an idealised way?

Of course I do.  Not only do I see the opposite sex in an idealized way, that is exactly the kind of women I would see myself as (in my dreams).  Madison Avenue and Hollywood have created what the ideal men and women should look like and act like.  We are all just following their lead.  Funny thing is a couple hundred years ago those women that were built like a cart horse were the most sought after cause they could help work the farm.