Have  you ever wished that you could just walk up to someone and ask them what they thought of you and actually have them tell you how they really feel.  I work with someone who is a manager but not my manager, I just do things for her department occasionally and I always thought I didn't make any kind of impression at all but today I was walking through an pretty big room and I caught her and another person commenting on how much they don't like working with me, in the sense that they would much rather work with someone they hang out with, a work buddy or someone more cool, like it's such a frigg'n drag that I'm scheduled to work with them. What surprised me was that she's always so professional whenever I've worked with her.  It does make me think of the people I come in contact with in r/l or on the internet but mosty in r/l because my experience with people and family is that they say one thing but if you are in contact with them long enough you find out that they weren't really all that honest.  Like they say they are okay and totally accept me when I present as girl but then the truth comes out that they think I'm totally f'd up and are really embarrased by that.  Or when I admitted (after being majorly confronted in a very passive/aggressive way ) that I bind when I'm scheduled to work in a particular area at work, two people say thats cool and they totally understand.  It was almost like they were thinking I was brilliant to do that lol then behind my back they are talking like thats really messed up. 
Don't you wish you could some how actually know what a person thinks or what their impression of you is.  Would you actually tell someone if they asked and if your impression was not all that favourable towards them. 

I'd tell the truth if I was asked what I thought of a person, but I would not want to know what others think of me. I've had people mischaracterize me in the past, and their opinion of me certainly isn't truth.

I work with children, they do tell me what they think of me.

What about adults like your friends or relatives.  Would you like to know what they REALLY think

Family, definitely not! They've never hesitated to let me know but I get sick of hearing it. They really don't know me at all because they only interact with me several times a year. Nuclear family that I live with, they only see what they want to see.

Friends...hm. Only if I asked.

Quote from: espo on December 28, 2011, 06:10:57 PM
What about adults like your friends or relatives.  Would you like to know what they REALLY think

I answered this, in full. In too much detail even, what happened to it?

Quote from: Pica Pica on December 28, 2011, 07:31:17 PM
I answered this, in full. In too much detail even, what happened to it?

Damn it !!  all I saw was this:

QuoteI work with children, they do tell me what they think of me.

Hmm, musta pressed the wrong button, and I wrote so much, being in a bit of a bobby mood this night.

The gist was that my family do tell me what they think (and it's not very flattering) and when drunk my friends do (and it's mostly pretty positive). Essentially most people find me ridiculous but honest, with some people respecting the fact that I am prepared to be ridiculous to follow my own star.

Then there was a bit about how I feel your work colleague hadn't hidden anything from you. If you overheard them saying they would prefer to work with someone they were matey with and you saying they were always very professional - one is always professional or formal with someone you don't connect with as well. In England, you know someone is comfortable with you when they start ripping the proverbial out of you.

Finally, I said that you can almost always get a sense of what someone thinks of you, and that if they could hide it so well you don't even get a whiff, I wouldn't want to know what it is.

I guess I just got curious what people actually think about me, in a way, not that I would change because of what they said or anything remotely like that but there are people at work I kind of admire, professionally speaking and others I think are slackers and don't even like. Not that I really know them but that's my impression of them.

Sometimes I do wish for honest opinions just as a mirror.  But only sometimes and from certain people.

I have a reputation for being straight talking and being straight to the point, with me, if you think you wont like the answer, then dont ask the question. Same applies to my family, however at the end of the day all i state is my oppinion and i will admit to having double standards, there is a Transsexual who works at my place and she really dont look that good, she looks odd and just looks like a bloke in a bra,but how she looks is how i want to be??? Maybe its different because shes trying to look female and im just trying to come across as Andro.

I do have a backstabbing family who will say one thing to me and then slag me off when im not around, i can go from being a harmless ->-bleeped-<- (dont think there is enough hours in the day to try to explain to a 77 year old what an Andro is) to a freak, when i leave the room. When this Andro thing is not creating depression, i think its great to be me and i dont care less what ANYONE thinks, although i can understand how annoying it must be to have one person say one thing, when all the time they think something completely different.

I'm quite senior and work with a lot of people, some I like some I don't. I don't let on to anyone how I feel about them except in a professional manner. They are all good at what they do and I totally respect them for their work, their ethic and the way they conduct themselves. I play no favourites and I have an equal policy to everyone.

If someone falls down on the job I tell them privately, if someone does something great I tell them publicly so they get the public acknowledgement of their peers.

You can't like everyone. But you can treat everyone with respect. I make very sure I do that.

I don't want or expect my staff or the people I deal with to like me. I hope they respect me and can interact with me at a professional level. So far that has been my experience.

I would find it very unprofessional to discuss my opinion about a person who worked for me with a colleague in a public place. Yes I do have discussions with my managers about staff, but that is behind closed doors, and is professional, not personal, unless there is a personal problem that I think needs to be dealt with.

I have to admit if I overheard someone having the conversation that you overheard, I would either be counselling them or firing them.

I'm not privileged to your position but I would suggest that you speak to the manager of the area about your concerns. I presume the manager would be responsible for the the people who you heard discussing you and hence responsible for you as well.

It is discrimination and work place bullying to do as they did, and it needs to be addressed. 

Sorry you are going through this.

Cindy

Thank you Cindy, you do have an air of professionalism ( from how you interact with people in the group. )  I saw the woman today but was too chicken to say anything      I'm going to just go with the flow and act like I don't care (which I sort of don't ) it's taking the easy road, I know but  ** shrug shoulders**  I'm a coward lol

I gave up on caring what other people thought of me a long time ago.  If people like me then I hope we can be friends.  If they don't like me thats there loss I'd love to know what people like about me but I'd rather not know the negative thoughts that friends have about me.

Like Kinkly I pretty much don't care what most people think of me anymore. I'm generally a nice person and if that's a problem for someone - then so be it.

At work i'm like Switzerland; I never say anything that's disparaging of other people even if they can be categorized as "dead wood". I try to be as positive as possible, along with being polite and respectful. I find that it's best for me to stay out of the water cooler talk and to stay away from the company politics.