Along with ftm vids, movies with male leads and being over emotional do it for me(though I don't think that's very a odd one?).  I'll watch some action film with a man in it and be completely interested in the movie, and then it ends and I see myself again and I'm just disgusted because I'm not that, or close. Works every time. D:

Quote from: Andris on December 16, 2011, 09:17:43 PM
Not same, but similar over here.
I can't stand both, shower or bath, doesn't even matter. I can easily procrastinate... I know it's disgusting not taking a shower for days. But I can easily stay out of the tub/shower, "by chance". By "studying", "there's no more hot water", "I don't have time", "I've already took a shower" (which is a lie)...

I'm like this. It's gotten much better now that I'm seeing T related changes, though. I hope it continues to improve.

Binding itself is sort of a trigger. It's miserable doing so, since I am always really overheated when wearing more than a t-shirt. I definitely prefer the look of binding, but if I try not to look down, it works well enough that I won't go insane and look for a large kitchen knife to lop them off myself 

Good to hear that many of you get on well with cismales, and so on..!
For me it's not working...I become stressed, so easily. Then I always fail. It bothers me so much when I'm between heterosexual cismales and I know that I can look like a male. Until I don't say a word. Then If I do... I cannot talk/act like a real, a born-male guy. In the last weeks I became so nervous at work when I had to say a single word. (And here... there's no therapist, anybody who can teach you something like this, officially. I'll go and find an actor or whoever.  ) It's on my face, in my moves that I was not raised as a boy. Damn, it's suffocating, more and more. (Luckily between my gay male buddies I feel very good. But I just can't select my workmates, my university group etc.)

Andris, if it makes you feel any better, I have access to therapists and they aren't a huge help in my learning how to act male. I just watch other guys in public (and lol try not to get caught doing so) and occasionally ask questions of the one cismale I'm close to.

I lucked out and my therapist is an FTM Trans as well (which I didn't know when I first met with him).  However, even though he started transitioning 10 years ago he still isn't a cismale so I'm sure there are some things/mannerisms that he doesn't know.  My dad isn't around anymore, I only see my brothers every couple of months and there's only 1 (soon to be 2) other guys at the house I work at with like 8-10 female staff and 98% of the guys i hang out with are your stereotypical feminine gay men so I don't have a lot of cismale influences so I, like you Felix, find myself observing other males in public and picking up some tips that way.