I get jealous around cis-males, but it's getting much better now that I am on T and am seeing some changes. When hormonal and top surgery factors are considered, there is not much that is different between us and cis-males. The only thing significant is chromosomes (which isn't really significant except for genetics), reproductive ability (although this varies greatly between people), and the appearance of the genitals. There's not much else really, if you ask me.

I am short compared to my immediate family, and most of my extended family. My mom is 5'10, my dad is 6'1, and my brother is 6'5. I am 5'6. My dad's parents were 5'0 and 5'3 so I am not that out of the ordinary. It's strange how sometimes it skips generations (the rest of my dad's family is relatively tall). My whole mom's family is tall too, so I guess my paternal grandparents and me are the odd ones out.

As for HGH, it's kind of weird. It definitely will not increase your height if you're done growing (when the growth plates fuse, as someone said previously), and there is claims that it can increase "vitality" (energy, tissue repair, energy, etc.) but this hasn't been tested enough. It's also prohibitively expensive (also previously stated), and negative side effects aren't fully known yet. It's just not worth it at this point.

Quote from: Caseyyy on December 27, 2011, 11:28:00 PM
I hate being the only 'girl.' I used to wish so bad that my aunt would have had Maria (the daughter she always wanted but never actually conceived, lol) so that she could replace me and I could go about my way. There was me, then my brother (but he defied all their hopes for a masculine child because he's super femme and aways has been), then the three boys who are pretty much stereotypical. They always get things given to them and they get away with a lot more because they're what everyone always wanted. i'm just full of bitterness for it all, ha, because it obviously hurts the AFAB kids (no matter how they identify) and it hurts the AMAB kids too if they don't fit what people expect of boys.

Cody: hopefully they'll come around when you come out. That's a terrible thing for your mom to tell you, and a horrible thing for your grandma to say. =/ My family are Dutch, so they're pretty traditional in their own way but from what I understand, a lot of Italian families that are traditional can be bad for sexism. Not to stereotype, of course.

It's getting to me again. I'm confused and scared. I felt almost normal with my chest today. That just got me thinking well then what the hell am I worrying about. Now it doesn't feel normal. I am super confused and upset right now. I cannot stand this at all. I don't even know who I am career-speaking, the confusion just keeps getting worse. It will drive me insane, and soon. Everyone keeps telling me I don't need to know who I am right now, but really DO need to know, because I. can't. take it anymore!! I get nightmares and my dreams only add to confusion. I can't stand the thought of coming out to my family. But boy or girl, I don't know and I need to before I go completely insane!!!!!!!!!!

Dysphoria isn't always 'on.' I, and I'm sure many others, have days where we don't feel it as strongly. Doesn't mean it's any less real when it is more painful. And as for not knowing about other things like career...I didn't know what my major was going to be until age 21, and I'm currently getting a master's in something that I don't want to stick with forever. Planning to get a second master's when I have time/money to amend my career path. So really, I likely won't get started in what I want to do until I'm like 30, haha. In other words, you'll likely be on a career path before I am.

*hug* I'd stay and chat if I didn't have to help my mom move a s* ton of furniture at her school tomorrow morning. If you need someone to talk to though, or just to vent, you can message me tonight and I'll reply tomorrow.

Thanks for the support Casey, I think I'll definitely PM you

In a way I know what you are going through.  I have a brother who is a jerk and we don't have ANY sibling connection.  It is so bad that I call him my father's son because I hiss at recognizing him as my brother.  As far as I am concerned my true brothers are on this site.  Anyways he is about 6'1 and I am 5'4 and I tend to get dysphoric when I'm around him and angry because I think to myself "he doesn't deserve his downstairs area I do!"  but I a'm learning to deal with it.

When dealing with dysphoria you CANNOT compare yourself to other guys especially bio men.  If you do then you can never truely find happiness and you will always try to live up to other expectations.  You have to realize your self-worth as a person.  Nobody is perfect.

As far as his compliments go you cannot focus on what everyone says about him.  You must have the will power to push yourself even when no one else will.  Know what you are too growing into a fine young man and you don't need anyone else to tell you that.  Know that you are your own man.

Quote from: Malachite on December 29, 2011, 06:42:37 PM
In a way I know what you are going through.  I have a brother who is a jerk and we don't have ANY sibling connection.  It is so bad that I call him my father's son because I hiss at recognizing him as my brother.  As far as I am concerned my true brothers are on this site.  Anyways he is about 6'1 and I am 5'4 and I tend to get dysphoric when I'm around him and angry because I think to myself "he doesn't deserve his downstairs area I do!"  but I a'm learning to deal with it.

When dealing with dysphoria you CANNOT compare yourself to other guys especially bio men.  If you do then you can never truely find happiness and you will always try to live up to other expectations.  You have to realize your self-worth as a person.  Nobody is perfect.

As far as his compliments go you cannot focus on what everyone says about him.  You must have the will power to push yourself even when no one else will.  Know what you are too growing into a fine young man and you don't need anyone else to tell you that.  Know that you are your own man.

Hmm. This this this this this! He most definitely does not deserve his downstairs area. But I will do my best not to think about it and focus on myself.

QuoteMy height also stops me imagining any sexual scenes involving me because I just can't bare to see myself that short compared to someone where I'm trying to be dominant/masculine etc.  Probably TMI, but I'm just trying to say I know where you're coming from a feel your pain bro.

When I was living as female I had no problem dating or sleeping with shorter guys. I'm 5' 6" or 5' 7" and some of my boyfriends were taller and some were shorter, and I don't remember that ever being much of a factor. We weren't in a ballroom slowdancing or anything, so there was no reason for it to matter.

Quote from: Sharky on December 28, 2011, 12:28:20 AM
Did you get any changes from the HGH?

Yup.  I didn't get any taller, though I wasn't expecting/wanting to.

Quote from: Felix on December 30, 2011, 04:06:12 AM
When I was living as female I had no problem dating or sleeping with shorter guys. I'm 5' 6" or 5' 7" and some of my boyfriends were taller and some were shorter, and I don't remember that ever being much of a factor. We weren't in a ballroom slowdancing or anything, so there was no reason for it to matter.

I'm sure with time and love i would get over it,  but the jarring as I imagine it, and the reminder that it always brings takes my thoughts away from that and simply how god damned tiny i am. True I had no problem with my exboyfriend, but I only met him 3 times, each of which we were ecstatic to be physically together and he made me feel like a man.

I'm 5'4" and I see a LOT of guys my height around this city. I used to be really insecure, so I never noticed and felt like everyone was bigger, but when I straightened my back and paid attention, I saw lots that were either shorter/the same, or maybe an inch or two taller.

Quote from: AdamMLP on December 30, 2011, 05:29:09 AM
I'm sure with time and love i would get over it,  but the jarring as I imagine it, and the reminder that it always brings takes my thoughts away from that and simply how god damned tiny i am. True I had no problem with my exboyfriend, but I only met him 3 times, each of which we were ecstatic to be physically together and he made me feel like a man.

I had a couple boyfriends who were shorter than you, and I see a lot of very short guys downtown (usually not white guys though), but I know a little bit of how you feel. I'm taller than most faab people, but I still worry that my height will give me away somehow. That it'll make me stand out among the men enough that people look twice, or that it will make me look like a teenager the rest of my life.

Short cismen are everywhere.  People are more likely to see a short man and think "huh he's kinda short, oh well" and move on.  I seriously doubt average people see a short male and think "huh he's short, must be trans" or worse, "huh a short man, must really be a woman".

I must live amongst giants then! Seriously, where do you guys all live?! Ive never seen a guy shorter than me (5'2") in the last 5 years...

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on December 30, 2011, 07:44:45 PM
Short cismen are everywhere.  People are more likely to see a short man and think "huh he's kinda short, oh well" and move on.  I seriously doubt average people see a short male and think "huh he's short, must be trans" or worse, "huh a short man, must really be a woman".

I don't think the average person is aware enough of the trans community to consider this much of an option.  I do think, though, that many trans people desperately cling to statements off, "But some men are _____, and so am I, so it means that I'm not any less of a man!"

Quote from: Mister on December 30, 2011, 09:15:27 PM
I don't think the average person is aware enough of the trans community to consider this much of an option.  I do think, though, that many trans people desperately cling to statements off, "But some men are _____, and so am I, so it means that I'm not any less of a man!"

I think it's okay to desperately cling to those statements. Whatever keeps us going, right?