How come some guys can tell you 'You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life, I wanna make my life with you, I wanna marry you, you are so sexy and tons of craps' and ONCE they know you are trans, it's like you suddenly become completely another person to them. And their BEST STANDARD EXCUSES is always "WE CAN REMAIN FRIENDS IF YOU WANT" (Keep your friendship in your...)

Nothing pisses me off more than when walking on the streets, super handsome guys are staring at you with GREAT INTEREST from quite afar and as soon as they get closer and realize what you are, they turn their faces away like a feeling of disgust on their face like they saw a piece of ->-bleeped-<-, some even start mocking or insulting you.

No wonder why some sisters will never reveal their past and the strict straight men insult us telling that we cheated them by not telling them what we are and we are bad, but it's their fault if they are so BIGOTS towards trans, so no wonder some trans will conceal their past. It's like as soon as you pronounce the word 'trans' all their world crumbles.

And when you're a 'semi-passing straight pre-op', it's the most difficult situation to be. It's like you want to have a straight guy to love, they are so close to you yet so far, they appreciate your beauty and personality but you CANNOT let them touch you cos fear they know what you are.

I'm facing a very difficult situation right now. I love a strict straight guy and he loves me too for 1 year, we always meet and date and he NEVER realized what I am till now. EVERY TIME he tries to touch me down there, I prevent him under the excuse that our country's culture and religion prevents us to have before sex before marriage and it's not good. I also use excuse that I am virgin etc...when deep inside my heart I crave to tear his frocks and eat him up. 

I'm retaining reaching almost 1 year now, my objective is to operate, change legal papers and then 1 day marry with him without he even knows cos I don't wanna lose him. I don't wanna take the risk of telling him and losing him forever cos I've been REJECTED SO MUCH TIMES. Many might tell me 'If he really loves you, he will accept you as you are". I've gone out with too MANY straight guys in the past and I know them too well and I have ALWAYS been turned down, ALWAYS!!! The problem I dunno if it's cos I always search for the 'Super Handsome'. Cos it's generally always the 'Super Handsome & hyper manly' that are 'strict straights'. The ones who are likely to accept you are the 'Moderate Straights' but most of the time they look ordinary and not so attractive like the 'Super Handsome' ones. And the '->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s', sorry but they are not my cup of tea. I might go with one if he is super handsome but he should behave well with me and not touch my penis, never for a long-term relationship though.

Am I the only one facing this situation of 'retention' so long, I feel like I'm exploding inside! Needed to voice out, sorry! 

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Straight men are usually afraid of finding transsexuals attractive, because we used to be men. Especially pre-op, who still have the highly unwanted bits. It makes them think they are suddenly homosexual.

I'm certain there are many other pre-ops who have gone, and are still going through the same thing. Just hang in there, though, you're bound to find someone who's not going to get scared off.

Happy Girl,
all I can say is: "You got your work cut out for you..."

How many lies will it need to get to be post-op?
And how much pain will it be for him to find out one day?
And how sure are you, he is not going to freak out on you for lying?

Just food for thought...
I've watched more then one such situation, um.

Axélle

My attitude about it is that I'm a woman, I'm an individual and therefore I deserve dignity and respect, and I could care less about what any man thinks of me because a woman does not need a man to make her happy.

There are lots of men in this world and I'm not going to even try to understand them or the way they think because they are like a different species to me and I never understood them anyway.

If one of them is nice to me, of course I'll be nice back but I'm going to follow some old advice:

"Men are a dime a dozen" and "A man chases a woman until she catches him."

Men like to pursue, so I say let 'em.  Transgender women should have the highest standards when it comes to the men they date.  We shouldn't feel horrible about who we are.  This is how we were created in the womb.  I'm not an apologist for neither me or my community.

We have to be a role model for the children, the transgender girls.  We can't go out into the world and make it seem wrong to be trans.  We have to be graceful about it and educate the public.

First of all, I would never start a relationship with a lie or holding something behind my back.
that's pretty much the reason why I did not date during pre op.
After srs I have dated and I must admit that there was never a rejection after disclosing my status.
Sure, it was always a hard thing to do, but doing it with some grace and the attitude of...take it or leave it, you get what you see, etc, it has never become a problem for the man.
They seem to appreciate the honesty and it shows some respect to the man for giving him a choice to leave or to stay.
I don't think straight men are hypocrite, they have the right to make their choices, like you do, if they don't want to go on with a girl who has a trans past, it's their choice and maybe their lost.
You have to accept and respect their choice.
My experience is, when you give respect, you get respect.
Lying will never get respect.

heh, I discussed this in depth in someone else's thread few days ago-

to sum what I said in that thread, I advocated being upfront about your trans status from the beginning.

All this frustration, agonizing, and stress you just said - the same story more or less that Eve posted about her own fears about rejection by unknowing people. Sigh  - different people, same sad song.

It is simple, folks - Be upfront and spare yourself the unnecessary anguish, torment, wailing, hands-wringing, and pacing back and forth.

Be upfront; you won't agonize.

Quote from: Happy Girl on December 29, 2011, 04:38:36 AM
How come some guys can tell you 'You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life, I wanna make my life with you, I wanna marry you, you are so sexy and tons of craps' and ONCE they know you are trans, it's like you suddenly become completely another person to them. And their BEST STANDARD EXCUSES is always "WE CAN REMAIN FRIENDS IF YOU WANT" (Keep your friendship in your...)

Nothing pisses me off more than when walking on the streets, super handsome guys are staring at you with GREAT INTEREST from quite afar and as soon as they get closer and realize what you are, they turn their faces away like a feeling of disgust on their face like they saw a piece of ->-bleeped-<-, some even start mocking or insulting you.

No wonder why some sisters will never reveal their past and the strict straight men insult us telling that we cheated them by not telling them what we are and we are bad, but it's their fault if they are so BIGOTS towards trans, so no wonder some trans will conceal their past. It's like as soon as you pronounce the word 'trans' all their world crumbles.

And when you're a 'semi-passing straight pre-op', it's the most difficult situation to be. It's like you want to have a straight guy to love, they are so close to you yet so far, they appreciate your beauty and personality but you CANNOT let them touch you cos fear they know what you are.

I'm facing a very difficult situation right now. I love a strict straight guy and he loves me too for 1 year, we always meet and date and he NEVER realized what I am till now. EVERY TIME he tries to touch me down there, I prevent him under the excuse that our country's culture and religion prevents us to have before sex before marriage and it's not good. I also use excuse that I am virgin etc...when deep inside my heart I crave to tear his frocks and eat him up. 

I'm retaining reaching almost 1 year now, my objective is to operate, change legal papers and then 1 day marry with him without he even knows cos I don't wanna lose him. I don't wanna take the risk of telling him and losing him forever cos I've been REJECTED SO MUCH TIMES. Many might tell me 'If he really loves you, he will accept you as you are". I've gone out with too MANY straight guys in the past and I know them too well and I have ALWAYS been turned down, ALWAYS!!! The problem I dunno if it's cos I always search for the 'Super Handsome'. Cos it's generally always the 'Super Handsome & hyper manly' that are 'strict straights'. The ones who are likely to accept you are the 'Moderate Straights' but most of the time they look ordinary and not so attractive like the 'Super Handsome' ones. And the '->-bleeped-<--->-bleeped-<-s', sorry but they are not my cup of tea. I might go with one if he is super handsome but he should behave well with me and not touch my penis, never for a long-term relationship though.

Am I the only one facing this situation of 'retention' so long, I feel like I'm exploding inside! Needed to voice out, sorry! 

Are all your posts about you being completely passing? I see a theme developing:-\

Not all straight men are jerks but the sad part is there are a lot of men who are. For me a smart caring loving girl is the most important thing and if she is transgender that is of no importance. I feel that you should tell the guy about being transgender but not on the first date as first you have to decide if the man is worth continuing a relationship.

It is not like post-ops have it all guaranteed, anyway. Even with a neo vagina, a man can still reject you saying you "used to be a man". 

You're right MsDazzler, there is no guarantee.
There is always a change to be rejected, also for cis girls.
Some girls are craving for a guy, while he don't want to be found in her bed even dead.
It's like the old song of the Stones,  you can't always get what you want.