This might be an odd question. I was out and about at a few stores the other day and thinking about my issues instead of shopping and something kind of spooked me.

From what I've read it seems transition for mtf feminizes the body a bit. Is there usually a big loss in say muscle? Basically I'm wondering does the process make one weaker physically? I know not all women are weak of course. Ok before I dig myself a hole, my concern is that considering how people react to TG's anyways, sometimes violently. Are we setting ourselves up to be a victim? Or can we probably still defend ourselves decent?

It's not something that would stop me wanting to transition but the thought is kinda of concerning still. I'm sorry if this is a dumb question.

I ask here because I was wondering, if it's ok to ask, I can understand not wanting to talk about it of course. If you all here have some experience with such a situation and if it might be common. Now I don't mean in dating and revealing, I don't plan on even attempting that area for a while afterwards. Just how bad is the typical hatred towards us outside of just dirty looks and words?

I cannot speak thru experience on how much violence etc the TG community faces because I haven't transitioned myself yet. However, I can tell you that testosterone is major for muscle maintenence. There is a reason females need to try twice as hard as a male to have the strength of a male. Personally, I've lost much muscle mass and physical strength over just a 4 month span of being on testosterone blockers. It's so different, when I swing a punch I KNOW it is not going to hurt anybody unless I hit them in a weak spot, when before they've been powerful.

However, it is still possible to defend yourself. You just have to know how to NOT use brute strength to do so. Throwing punches isn't an effective form of self defense in my opinion anyways. If you want somebody who is coming after you unprovoked to stop doing so, it's usually going to take more than a punch to the nose... you're going to have to break an arm or something.

I am planning to take self defense class in near future.
I haven't had any bad experiences fortunately but I've lost a lot of strength.
Basically I would be really afraid to have to face a guy of about my size or larger and I am not very big.

Seattle is fairly non-phobic place so it is usually not a big issue to not pass.
But then again I started passing after about 7 months on HRT so I could disappear in the crowd.

It is pretty amazing how things change. I have to ask neighbors to help me with heavier items now.
Luckily I have nice couple guys who are happy to come over and help when ever I need them and I just stand by and watch.
The best I can do is get out of their way and feel a little embarrassed as once I used to be that nice neighbor guy who came over to help.

Alaina I had a feeling that was possible, thanks for the reply.

It's not so much that I'm afraid of those situations, for me the problem is going from what I am now, being able to easily defend myself in most cases to possibly not. The psychological aspect of that change just kind of bothers me. I know I'm thinking too much on potential negatives of transition, I can't help that though I've always ran through too many scenarios in my head for things. I have to say my tumblr is helping some in that regard to organize some of my concerns, just within a few posts others have already reached out in support that I really didn't expect from such a site.

Also I'm not looking for excuses to not change either, just trying to understand if such worries are valid or paranoia induced.

Envie, thanks for your input as well, thats good to hear about Seattle, it's one of the places I'd love to eventually move to. And yeah that asking for help is another part of the change that I wonder about, just I'm so used to being the independent guy that the thought of depending on others in that way or being afraid of a confrontation is hard to imagine right now.

In my limited experience going out "en femme" and in more girlie clothes, I haven't had anything more than a gentle semi-serious tease. I live in a rural corner of NE Indiana, so it's not like I live in Seattle or San Francisco. Despite everything that I've been conditioned to believe, rural people where I live are at on the whole begrudingly tolerant of LGBT people. I mean I went out in girl dress for New Years (and you can say for yourself how well I pass) and I didn't feel like a pariah. I kept with my family and didn't act exuberant, but I was around two very redneck guys and they didn't seem to give a crap about me. I don't want to play generalities, but I probably would feel safer overall in my small town than a big city, even though the city would be more accepting overall. I am a classic pessimist, but at least where I live, derision is about all I have to fear.

Quote from: Amalina on December 31, 2011, 11:16:46 PM
It's not so much that I'm afraid of those situations, for me the problem is going from what I am now, being able to easily defend myself in most cases to possibly not. The psychological aspect of that change just kind of bothers me.

Those thoughts are totally legitimate. I went through the same adjustment I had to get used to this new vulnerability.
Now I think twice if I am gonna take some dark alley for a short cut home or just walk a little longer through well lit and busier street.
Rape is a lot more on my mind when I think about the safety and not so much the ->-bleeped-<- bashing or magging.
Although being pre op, the ->-bleeped-<- bashing is for sure the next fear that comes up if the rape part doesn't happen due to my situation.

30kps, thats good to hear about those areas. It's also encouraging that with a few replies it seems my worries are not that common as I thought. Possible sure but not regular.

Quote from: envie on December 31, 2011, 11:39:42 PM
Those thoughts are totally legitimate. I went through the same adjustment I had to get used to this new vulnerability.
Now I think twice if I am gonna take some dark alley for a short cut home or just walk a little longer through well lit and busier street.
Rape is a lot more on my mind when I think about the safety and not so much the ->-bleeped-<- bashing or magging.
Although being pre op, the ->-bleeped-<- bashing is for sure the next fear that comes up if the rape part doesn't happen due to my situation.

See for some reason that last part hadn't even crossed my mind yet, as a guy rape is not really much concern. This all just feels like it will be a serious culture shock. I keep seeing mentioned here and around the net about thinking of yourself as a woman, and I don't know if it's just too soon for me yet but outside of imagining it in my head what it might be like I can't really bring myself to do that in the sense they mean, I think that is part of why I'm thinking of this stuff maybe, just focusing on the wrong aspects I guess. Still coming to terms with so much, it feels overwhelming.

Thanks for the input.

These things happen gradually and not over night.
First you don't pass well and live only part time. Than you almost pass and live full time.
You still have a lot of strength so you think rather about ->-bleeped-<- bashing and how you can defend yourself.
But when you start passing, people start treating you like a woman, strength goes away and you realize no one would just come over to just beat you up
but would rather try to rape you. What would happen after being discovered that I don't have a vagina I don't dare to think very much.
I just try to take all the precautions for that not to happen. When I go out alone I always ware flats or shoes I can run in. No heals unless I have a company!

I have worked out at a gym regularly for years. I'm not physically large and I'm not muscular, when I started AAs I noticed a perceptible drop in upper body strength within weeks. I'm probably now at a 1/3 of what I used to be able to use in upper body exercise. I love it

As for self defence I did get counselled by my GG friends about being far more careful of knowing my surroundings and they could get very angry at me for doing some things which could have got me into trouble. I'm quite embarrassed by some of the situations I got into.

Where I live is really quite open to different cultures and 'sexualities' etc, but yes there are some places a single woman should not be at 2 am in the morning, particularly after a few drinks ,

Cindy

Yes, your fears are somewhat normal and reasonably justified.

      Your strength will totally go away and you'll end up a total girl.   Things I formerly could toss around with one hand, I can't even lift any more.   However, if you work out diligently, you can gain strength.   You won't, however, develop any muscles with definition.  This means you can work out all you want, you won't develop "manly muscles".

      Next, you'll have to learn to think like a girl and learn the things that all girls know.   You can't go out for a walk after dark, pretty much anywhere, if you're alone.  You must always be aware of your surroundings and plan escape routes.   You won't be parking in parking garages, especially after dark and you REALLY don't want to use stairs in enclosed stairways.   There's a reason you nearly always see women out walking or running in pairs or groups.

      Finally, do consider taking self-defense classes.   Despite the fact that we can't hit very hard, there are a LOT of places a man can be hit that will cause considerable pain or damage.   The best classes go on for quite some time and involve heavy exercise.   These classes will allow you to develop the muscle and coordination to hit and kick very hard, the knowledge to know exactly where to hit without thinking and the reflexes to do it all quickly.    In addition, you'll learn how to break forward and backward choke holds and to turn from being "attacked" to being "the attacker".

       Like most all of the rest of us, I was super paranoid when I first stepped out the door dressed up to go to therapy.   As I moved to full time, I became a little more comfortable.   As time has gone on, I am no longer self-conscious.

       As I progress in my self defense training and awareness of avoiding risky situations, I've become a much more confident female.

       It takes time and it can be done.   You have to first change your thinking, accept your limitations and develop your defenses, based on being female.

It sounds like there is even more to it than I had thought. I have a feeling I may end up getting myself in trouble, while I have severe social anxiety already from other things, pretty much just really nervous around groups of people, the walking alone at night and that kind of stuff is not something I even think of and might not come to mind very easy later.

Thanks for the info, I really appreciate it. I have a long ways before I really have to worry about all this so for now I'm going to try to not worry about it. Otherwise with my other mental issues it might influence my decision later on even if I don't think it will now.

I do agree with Re: Joyce

After 30 years of hrt, I'm not very strong, there is no need for it, I will avoid places of danger, I use female charme and if necessairy, I can run like hell.

Bottom line is that you will have the power of a girl, so you have to use your brains, like every girl does.