It shatters my heart to see many girls here saying they find themselves not attractive, not passing etc...

But being beautiful or passing won't guarantee you full happiness.


Taking the example on myself. People say I'm very beautiful.  However some men know at a glance I am trans by my exaggerated style cos bio female don't dress like this BUT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO STILL DO NOT KNOW I'm trans and before, WHEN THEY PROPOSED ME AND AS SOON AS I TELL THEM I AM TRANS, THEY FLED and I WAS ALWAYS REJECTED! REJECTED!! REJECTED!!! And my biggest problem is I target always ONLY the strict straight guys. So the only way to live this cruel life and have temporary pleasures with those straight men is living in lies. Conclusion, where is the real happiness in being beautiful and passable here IF YOU ARE REJECTED ALWAYS FOR WHAT YOU ARE?


But what is funny is I CAN be 100% passable when I want to but the other problem now is I look so effing ORDINARY and plain when I dress and behave like bio females and I DON'T ATTRACT ANY MEN ANYMORE.

BEING VERY BEAUTIFUL DOESN'T MEAN PEOPLE WILL RESPECT YOU! EVEN THE VERY BEAUTIFUL ONES ARE DISRESPECTED! JUST COS WE ARE TRANS! And the heavy prejudice we all face around us.

I've seen VERY BEAUTIFUL POST-OP GODDESSES still being heavily insulted by people on YouTube as "You were born a man, you're still a man, your chromosomes are still YX, you can't have a child, you're just a castrated man, It would be so gay to date with you, I'd prefer do it with an ordinary natural vagina than do it with you etc..."

And my nick is not 'Happy Girl' cos I am happy, I'm just happy I managed to flee severe persecution I was facing in my home country to tome to Europe, but deep down my heart I'm still the 'Sad Girl' I was for years...

We're all in the same boat, honey.  Gorgeous, hideous, in the middle.  We are a biological group of baby girls that developed the bodies of boy babies in the womb, and it really doesn't matter what happens for the rest of our life, from that moment on, we will always be different than every other woman. 

Baby girls unite!  We have nothing to lose but our chains!

Quote from: sysm29 on January 03, 2012, 06:03:26 PM
We're all in the same boat, honey.  Gorgeous, hideous, in the middle.  We are a biological group of baby girls that developed the bodies of boy babies in the womb, and it really doesn't matter what happens for the rest of our life, from that moment on, we will always be different than every other woman. 

Baby girls unite!  We have nothing to lose but our chains!

You know, in the beginning when I just begun, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO unpassable and people called me UGLY, MAN, WEIRDO, FREAK, CREATURE etc... but after 6 months on hormones things have I changed a lot, the insults are still here but lesser. It changed my face, body form etc... HORMONES are magic potions, you should try it sweetie.

I jumped into the waters BLINDLY and I didn't care I would pass or not, importance for me was just to live my life as a girl passing or not. I am not perfectly happy but I am more happy than I was before. I lost my high position job, my family, had a very dangerous and tragic life but today when I look back I don't regret anything. I may be living a very basic life compared to before but I am happy I am living it as a girl.

I would very, very much like to be beautiful. At least pretty or cute.

I'm not saying I'd be totally happy if I was, but that's one of my deepest desires.

I haven't transitioned, but I'm happy just being on hormones. I would love to pass, but I'm not at the point yet. I used to be miserable before estrogen. Now I smile, even though I don't think people are as nice to me as they used to be. I used to be a pretty handsome guy, now I'm starting to look slightly inbetween. But at the same time, I'm happy... why? Because for whatever reason, I find it easier to be myself now to a degree. No, I'm not wearing dresses or putting on makeup.. yes I'm sir'd 99% of the time and it does annoy me when I am, but I feel more open to be myself. That plus the knowledge that masculinization inside of me has stopped has made me a much more happier person.

My point is: your subject line is very true. You have to know what you will be happy with and don't have expectations beyond reaching what makes you happy. Transitioning shouldn't be a rush, and passing shouldn't be the end all. What conquering transsexualism is about, is being accepted for being yourself, not being accepted for wearing make up.

QuoteI've seen VERY BEAUTIFUL POST-OP GODDESSES still being heavily insulted by people on YouTube as "You were born a man, you're still a man, your chromosomes are still YX, you can't have a child, you're just a castrated man, It would be so gay to date with you, I'd prefer do it with an ordinary natural vagina than do it with you etc..."

Don't give such idiots more than the time of day they deserve. I used to make trans videos and sometimes received such comments, but I have had an equal number, if not more people, completely accept my trans status, and yes, that also includes prospective partners. The happier you are with yourself and the more you feel you have the right to be yourself (regardless of whether you pass) the more you will just convince people to accept you. I have had few problems with acceptance but only because I surround myself with people who do so - I'm sure I'd face similar bigotry if I lived in a narrow minded small town or surrounded myself with those of an IQ less than a glass of water.

Quote from: Assoluta on January 03, 2012, 06:57:20 PM
The happier you are with yourself and the more you feel you have the right to be yourself (regardless of whether you pass) the more you will just convince people to accept you.

Amen baybeh

Sometimes it is just too much and makes you feel tempted to go lezzie, eh? 

Quote from: MsDazzler on January 03, 2012, 08:55:24 PM
Sometimes it is just too much and makes you feel tempted to go lezzie, eh? 

Yuck.

Tried it, was grossed out by it lol!

I should add that even for natal females, being beautiful doesnt guarantee happiness, although I still stand by my conviction that good appearances improve quality of life and open more doors (this conviction was hotly debated in another thread). heh

While it's not my biggest wish to be attractive, I'll try ny best to be. If I fail, I'm not going to be disappointed that much because I'll still be living as a female.
Living as a male drove me into deep depression, which made me think every day which method to use to kill myself so it would hurt the least, and I was awfully close. Almost every night when I went to bed I wished so much that I was a girl, and just about every new year since I remember I wished for that.
What I'm trying to say, is that I am looking forward to living as a girl, being a plain one, or attractive. I found my will to live again, and it is an amazing feeling.

 I'm transitioning to be happy with myself. When I pass so well that being called a man would be ridiculous, then I'll think of it as ridiculous. If I know a person is just being mean, then their comments mean nothing.

... it's cold-hearted honesty that I have a fear of. But everything that you have described looks to be mean-spirited nothingness.

It sucks that a lot of people need to have a thick skin in order to be comfortable, but it's not the worst fate a person can have.