So instead of working like I should have been doing I got caught up in watching YouTube vids of trans guys (was looking for some exercising inspiration originally but ended up on a totally different tangent). Anyway, came across this guy Chase:
why im not going back on t.

I really enjoyed what he had to say and I'm always looking for other people to relate to in the realm of either stopping or not going on T or not having surgery (I'm just a simple human after all ... I don't like to feel alone in the world blah blah blah). It resonated with me when he talked about how he was comfortable with his body, and that just because he was stopping T didn't mean he wasn't a guy anymore.

I stopped T after a very short time because it made me crazy. I tried it because I was desperate at the time and grasping at any "straws" that were available to me to feel more comfortable with myself. What I actually learned through the experience is that I was more comfortable with myself not on it.

So yeah, I just thought it was interesting to here someone else's story and take on it. I'm interested to hear other people's takes on it to. Like how many of you out there would consider stopping T once you've reached a certain point and find you're happy with yourselves? Or do you just plan on being on it for the rest of your life?

Even the brief time before I considered it I always had the stopping thing in mind ... 6 months to a year was what I originally thought because I just really wanted superficial things like sideburns (yes, I'm a bit of a dork about sideburns) and to change my voice ever so slightly. I was already hairy enough for my own tastes everywhere else so that definitely wasn't something I desired and much like Chase I love the hair on my head and I want it to stay there so hair loss was not in the game plan. Most importantly though, I didn't want to compromise my health in any way. I'd take health over looks any day but like I said it was an odd time in my life where I suddenly felt really desperate and not confident in myself. But from the get go I could tell that I wasn't going to last even the 6 months. I will say that stopping T even after just a short time was just as difficult as being on it. It took me twice as long as being on it to feel like my old self again. I kind of envy those guys who go on it and feel better than they ever have. But I accept that it's just not the right thing for my body.

Anyway, I'm totally of the opinion that transition (or even if you choose not to fully transition but just change your appearance) shouldn't be this, "first you do this, then this, then this" type of thing. It should be totally individual. It's not a clinical disease or something that requires a set protocol of exact treatment for each occurrence. I truly believe the end goal isn't just to switch your gender, but to get to a place where you are comfortable in your own body ... that you can walk out the door in the morning with your head up and face the world on your own terms.

I think that's all I have to say on that (for the moment).

Quote from: insideontheoutside on January 04, 2012, 01:02:04 AM
So yeah, I just thought it was interesting to here someone else's story and take on it. I'm interested to hear other people's takes on it to. Like how many of you out there would consider stopping T once you've reached a certain point and find you're happy with yourselves? Or do you just plan on being on it for the rest of your life?

I will never stop unless medically forced to.  I can not go back to having a period.  A hysto would remedy that should I stop T but then I would still be dependent on hormones and I'd def not want female hormones in me.

Quote from: Andy8715 on January 04, 2012, 01:16:14 AM
I will never stop unless medically forced to.  I can not go back to having a period.  A hysto would remedy that should I stop T but then I would still be dependent on hormones and I'd def not want female hormones in me.

Andy I know you're one of those guys And I'm genuinely happy for you that T works and that you're on the path to your own body comfort place.

I've considered stopping T. I know it hasn't made me happy, but neither have female hormones...so where do I find my medium? The answer isn't so simple for me (I don't think). So...for now I'm going with T, seeing if I feel happier after awhile and if it doesn't go as planned then I'll come up with a new plan.

I do know one person who went on T and stopped after 3 years or so due to balding. I know I would've done the same.

I plan on stopping T.  I'm not entirely sure when, though.  I've been on it for almost a year and a half, and honestly the only thing that's keeping me on it is not wanting to go back to having periods.  I'm really hairy, hairier than I need to be, my voice has pretty much finished changing, I've got a little facial hair, and I finally look older than 16.  My body fat never really redistributed in the first place, so that's not a concern.  And I'd really just rather not be giving myself shots for the rest of my life.  I'm happy with what I look like now, and stopping T makes sense, at least for the time being (though I'll be open to going back on it at a later point).  In an ideal world, I'd like to get a hysto but keep the ovaries in, but I know I can't afford that any time soon.  But I'm pretty sure I'll stop T within the next year or so anyway.

Can a Mum make a comment?

Transitioning is making your self comfortable with YOU.

What you want as a person is all that is important. People who go through female hormone driven puberty tend to see the world in a different way that people who go T driven puberty. There is no way of changing that. I think it one of the primary sins against us.

Our brains and emotions are changed by how we develop, no matter what our core is.

I think it comes up more on the MtF threads of people not accepting others for deciding their own future. They can and do get really bitchy. Goddess knows why.

But the truth is we are individuals. Each of us is perfect, and each of us are imperfect.

Guys tend to be more focussed. See what you want and go for it.

There are no rules, except to be as content as you can.

Hugs Guys

Sorry I do look into the guy threads because  I always wanted a brother.



Cindy

I think I might be like Andy here. Probably. I certainly want all my girl parts out, and without them I'd have to supplement somehow, and estrogen just isn't right for me.

I'm okay with hair growth anywhere, balding is fine with me too, and really the main downside I feel T has for me is increased risk of high blood pressure and heart disease. I am trying to take measures to balance this out.

Quote from: Andy8715 on January 04, 2012, 01:16:14 AM
I will never stop unless medically forced to.  I can not go back to having a period.  A hysto would remedy that should I stop T but then I would still be dependent on hormones and I'd def not want female hormones in me.

I feel very similar.  I plan on taking T for the rest of my life.  If I start to have unwanted side effects (balding, hypertension, high cholesterol, etc), then I will deal with them.

Not sure how to word this...I don't feel like it's an option for me to stop taking T.  If my genetics were different, I couldn't just stop my body from producing T (aside of taking blockers or having my testes/adrenal glands removed which comes with another set of problems) to combat unwanted health issues.  I would have to find other forms of treatment.  That's how I look at things anyway.  I certainly don't expect others to feel the same way.

What an interesting thread, I can totally relate in spite of coming from the other side of the fence. Insideontheoutside it will be interesting to see how other guys relate to what you have written. I get the impression that the majority of folks from my side might be a bit negative when it comes to stopping transition part way. I don't get it myself, I'm not sitting in judgement on anyone else's take on transition but all I ever wanted was some piece of mind, some relief from the GD, that was my end goal where transition was concerned. When I embarked upon my own adjustment regime I always knew inside I wasn't going to go the whole hog, I just needed to smooth the edges a little. I looked into everything apart from GRS but once I started making adjustments my priorities changed and I was able to reign myself in, I dropped anchor for a while and considered my options with a clearer head. So far life continues quite comfortably in respect of the GD, I'm convinced it's not coming back. I'm actually considering coming off E but because I had an orchi it could be that I'll have to stay on it to maintain bone density, I've got to do some research. I won't consider a T supplement because I know that'll get my GD kicked off again. What a tangled web we weave in pursuit of inner happiness.

Cheers to doing what makes you happy.  I have no issues with people stopping T for whatever reason - I am not them and cannot know what they need to find fullfilment.  But for me, I am not using T to be a hot, muscled young bloke.  I need it to transform my body to match my spirit - and I need to maintain it in order to ensure that my body continues to at least partially conform to my spiritual, emotional and mental sense of self.  I know that a lot of therapists and doctors want to make sure that people understand, before starting, that T will not make you happy on its own.  I am and will always be a work in progress.  I could care less if T makes me a fat, bald middle-aged man.  It will always be better than being female.

I personally try not to judge others because I am far from perfect. So if someone wants to go a T for awhile and then stop who am I to judge. I believe people need to live for themselves and not others. For me, I don't see ever going off T. I spent too much of my life miserable trying to conform to other people's ideas of what I'm supposed to be. I like the little bit of facial hair I have so far and can't wait for more. I like the changes and the peaceful calm feeling I have experienced since starting T. I don't care if I go bald after all there are some really sexy bald men in the movie business.

Troy

PS Cindy - I like hearing your viewpoints and always wanted a supportive sister 

I've not even started T yet (though bring on 2012, woo), so I'm jumping the gun a bit in thinking about ever stopping. But I don't know. I can see myself getting to a point where I can present as I want and be comfortable with my body and stop injecting. On the other hand, I may realise that I'm getting myself out of a situation I can never take steps back to.

Quote from: Cindy James on January 04, 2012, 02:50:08 AM
Can a Mum make a comment?

Transitioning is making your self comfortable with YOU.
....

But the truth is we are individuals. Each of us is perfect, and each of us are imperfect.
....

There are no rules, except to be as content as you can.

I agree with this part of transitioning and it kinds of reminds me of the "->-bleeped-<-r than thou" thing. People can transition as much as they want and have people think about them whatever they want, but as long as they are happy with where they are that's what really counts. No one should be able to invalidate the degree in which you decide to transition. From my experience, most of us do want to stay on hormones unless there's other complications, but of course, there are exceptions to this matter. I am kind of like Andy with the way I see things, but if another guy wants to stop them, it's not my place to sit there and judge him. I really don't agree with their decision, but it's what makes them happy and that's all that counts. They are different than me, but I'm not going to fight with them when what they're doing makes them happy and in reality, it isn't effecting me much at all. I'd rather me much more invested in my own life decisions than meddling with others.

Basically what I'm saying is that I like your post.
:]

Like Andy, I would never stop T unless drastically medically forced to.
I dont think of myself as ftm or trans, but a guy (although ofcourse, medically speaking I guess I have to admit Im ftm... :p) And for me, any parts of me that dont match this, I refuse to acknowledge. Ill take with me any "negative" parts of T, e.g balding, any health issues later etc it doesnt bother me.
  I dont necessarily agree with taking T only for abit, but Im not the judge, and Id rather people be happy in themselves than not.

I guess if I wouldn't get my period for stopping T, and I hitted a point where T become a very big trouble/ where it made some changings I really REALLY hated, then I would consider stopping it.

so far I am not planning too, have been of T in short periods ex for my surgery, and once I got a very bad headache, my mom said maybe it where the T and maybe I should consider to stop it, but the thought made me very deprest so I kept on, and luckely I havent got this awfull headache since.

Hm, This is an interesting idea.  I'm not on T yet, but I'm trying to get on it.  I would have to know more about what changes will reverse and when before I would go off T.  Also, since in the video he did talk about maybe going back on it if he felt like he needed to later on.  I also would want to know how healthy that would be to go on T and have all these changes and then go off T to reverse them, and then go back on T to get the changes again.  Maybe it's perfectly fine to do, idk.
For me, the period would be the deal breaking, but there are other ways to stop a period than T.

But for me, I definitely think it's something interesting to think about.  I mean, I would definitely prefer to have both top and bottom surgery one day.  But, if I'm perfectly happy the way I am one day without surgery, should I bother to go further?  I think that's a question I can only answer once I get there.

Hi JohnAlex  I think you answered your question by asking it. "But, if I'm perfectly happy the way I am one day without surgery, should I bother to go further?" Why would you? if you're perfectly happy why would you put yourself through it. It's not a walk in the park. every time you submit to surgery you're putting your life on the line. The anaesthetic can kill you before you even start moving stuff about and risking infection or hemorrhage. Why would anyone risk death if they were already happy. I'm assuming by happy you mean happy with "yourself, your gender" not your job or the weather 
I have no idea how difficult it would be to have a procedure to stop periods, ablation can work in some cases but would the gate keepers allow it. I dare say if you could touch the back of your head on your heels and jump through a few hoops they might begrudgingly say ok....
I don't know what the protocol is for getting top surgery, do you need to be on T before they'll consider you suitable. You don't need T to build muscle but it does help. It strikes me that it would be possible to achieve a good shape just by hitting the weights and having top surgery, no T necessary. I am a little biased, me and T never really got on

Wonderful video, Insideontheoutside.    Thanks for posting it.

For me I haven't gone off of T but I have drastically reduced the dose I started out with.  At this point it's less than half, maybe as much as 75% less of a dose than when I started.  (We are not allowed to most dosages on here or I would to explain the discrepancy)  Why did I do that?  There are a couple reasons.  To start out with, the acne was killing me.  I'm as vain as hell, I'll admit it.  The horrible cyst acne was painful and difficult to cover up and deal with.  Second I was finding a few stray hairs of mine here and there and that wasn't working for me.  Third I was worried about the long term affects on my health.  Forth I'm pretty good at my passing abilities right now.   Though as pointed out on here, I am gender neutral but that isn't such a horrible thing to be.  Sure sometimes I confuse people but C'est la vie.  I've always confused people, why stop now?  I'm not here to make anyone comfortable or happy, save my children and myself.

There are a couple flies in the soup however.  My muscle strength and tone have been obviously reduced, which isn't ideal for me.  I use to be able to churn out 10 pull-ups, no problem.  Now I'm lucky to get 3-4 before my arms turn into jello.  I'm hope that with perseverance and discipline I can gain some of it back.  Also my facial hair isn't exactly where I would have it given the choice.  It is slowly filling in.  Thankfully my period is not coming back or showing signs of coming back.   

People who know I'm transitioning but are not in the trans community are always asking if I had my surgery(ies).  "Are you finished yet?"  Finished?  I don't think I'll ever be finished.  I'm an eternal work in progress with my transition and with my mental, emotional and spiritual self.  I really don't tell them I'm not 100% on getting the surgeries because I know they wouldn't take me as seriously than.  I just change the subject in way that lets them know such questions are not welcome with me.  Of course that doesn't always stop them.  Brats

The surgeries are extremely expensive and invasive.  I happen to adore my orgasms and I don't exactly want to risk anything down there.  The top surgery would leave huge scars and I'm not thrilled about that prospect either.  I'm not saying no if I won the lottery or something which would be a miracle as I don't play.  If I had the choice I think I would go with the bottom over the top.  Someday I will probably have them but I'm not in a rush to have them in order to prove how 'trans' I am.  Does that make sense? 

I am considering not going on T.  I have fairly high levels naturally, and it comes down to figuring out what pros and cons I would get from it.  Right now I am trying to figure out if I would be okay with menstruation and no genital growth, as I already have facial hair and a male vocal range.  I am working on making myself more comfortable in other ways, and I see T as a possible future necessity if I cannot be okay with not passing.

Stopping once you're happy is the only way to go. I had a hysto just recently, one that I really wanted. There were complications and pain management ->-bleeped-<-ups, and it ended up being horrifyingly tough. I find that the idea of someone shaming a young trans guy into more medical intervention than he wants now makes me RAAAGE. That was difficult enough to endure, and I really wanted it badly. I can't imagine going through the same thing because some jerk told you you're "not trans enough" if you don't do X, Y, and Z.