Here's a 7-foot transwoman, exceptionally tall even by male standards!

I can understand the simple thrust of the original post and the responses of those who say that they couldn't cope if they did not pass.
As one who doesn't pass well I will try and explain it.
I am ME and you can like or dislike me as you choose.  It took me a very long time to get here mentally and until I did I could not take the steps to get here physically.   I am at peace with myself.  I don't CARE what you think of me, in respect of my transition.  That's not some sort of psychological defence mechanism it's just a simple fact - as long as you're not stomping on my face, I truly don't give a flying damn.
Whether I had transitioned or not, some people would like me and some wouldn't and that is the same for every person in the world.

To those who say they could not transition unless they would totally pass, I see that as your weakness.  What you are saying is that you are not strong enough to withstand any social rejection and difficulties that would arise from you not passing and would rather die or pretend to be someone who at heart you are not than risk the consequences of being true to yourself.  I don't think that puts you in a very good light.
It comes down to having truth and peace within yourself.  Someone said "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." and that sums it up.  If you would rather trick people into liking you by pretending to be something you are not, then that is your choice, but don't expect me to respect you for it.

OF COURSE I would rather Pass, life would be so much easier and so much more rewarding.  I do have some serious difficulties in my life which would not arise if I passed as a born woman.  But in my heart I am happy and contented and in most of my general life too.  That does not mean that I don't suffer loneliness etc sometimes but there are a great many lonely people out there who are not trans or anything, they are just ordinary people.

Getting on socially as an easily read transwoman depends totally on that confidence and peace within yourself.  The intitial reaction of people will be based on face-value as it always is for everyone, but if you are confident to just be You then after a while your appearance no longer matters.  You are accepted for your core values, for the person you are.  When I first meet women, they have some natural wariness and distance because they can see that I was not always one of them, but in a short time that relaxes into acceptance as just another woman.  Neither I nor they will totally forget that I am different but it recedes far into the background and becomes almost irrelevant.  They respond to the presentation you make of yourself not the outward appearance.

Yes, if I could have FFS I would immediately.  The more like a born woman I appear, the easier life becomes.  Most of my problems in day to day life though arise from my attitude and are a direct result of a lifelong feeling of alienation.  I should have been born a girl. 

Relationships and interaction with guys is a different matter entirely.  They are very ego-driven.   I'm sure that a great many of them do find us attractive despite our discernible origins.  The problem is that they dare not sleep with us or date us openly because they could not cope with the ridicule and loss of social status among their mates.  That's little different to the problems of the born women who have the misfortune to be a very long way from "the ideal"
The truth is that given a choice between publicly dating a hideously unattractive born woman and a very attractive but visibly trans woman, 99%+ of guys are going to choose the born woman.
That is a choice driven by male ego and I think that the same mindset is at play in those who say that they would not transition unless they could be a beautiful woman. 

To Steffi, I know I'm weak. I don't need someone to remind me of it. I wish I didn't care what others thought but I have so few people around me as it is being what I'm not that I couldn't imagine choosing to give them up to be seen as an outcast by them and so many others.

Maybe the fact that I've been depressed for almost half my life has skewed my perception of myself and others. I do realize that, and yes it is a weakness as you say to let things get to you. Sadly I am having trouble seeing what the benefit of outing myself would be, sure I might feel more myself but without the companionship I've come to cherish through the years, will it really matter?

Some of us are stronger and some are weaker, I personally don't feel weaker people deserve less respect because they are weak. That's just my take on it though, I don't expect you to respect me for it if you don't feel I'm worth respecting. Really I have a hard time these days seeing myself as anything but a pathetic excuse for a man anyways, as wrong as that may be to admit, some of us are just not strong enough emotionally. So I can't really expect others to see me any better.

btw I'm not mad or anything Steffi. I prefer brutal honesty from people, even when it might hurt.

Sorry...... sometimes in type things come out a bit more sharp edged than really intended, especially if it's an uncomfortable truth.

I'm not being superior - I didn't transition at 25 for the very reason that I knew and acknowledged that I could not face life ridiculed, rejected, othered and alone.
- but I did know my reasons.
I was shamed about three years after that when a person I knew as a hard-boy did come out and transition.  He had a lot of bottle because times were tough back then and he was doing it from being very macho.
I don't mind at all if people choose - as I did back then - not to transition, as long as they're honest with their motives and reasons.
As I said, it took me a very long time to get to a place within myself where I was strong enough.  Back in 1979, I WOULD have gone home and hung myself the first time someone ridiculed me in the street.  Back then, I could not imagine how it was even possible to not feel that way. 

For those unlikely to pass, the choice to transition is in every case between the discomfort of carrying on as one is or the discomfort of life after the change.
There are analogous situations all over life; there are plenty of people attending church who are not believers but who dare not do otherwise because of the social consequences. 

I'm also in England, so my perspective will be derived from a different cultural background.

QuoteI'm honest about who I am and what I needed to live. That's the best I can do.

..... and that is all that I would ask of you anyway!

Amalina ...... sorry if I hurt you.    You're right - it is brutal honesty.
I have no right to a high-horse - I did not transition until I was 53 and had literally reached the very point of suicide - though now I wonder WTF I was so scared of for all those years.
I can understand why people don't transition - all I ask is that they are at least honest with themselves 

My life is far from perfect, but I would not ever go back.

It's ok Steffi. I've just been overly sensitive lately about my own self worth and such. Like I said I appreciate brutal honesty.

I think I am fairly honest with myself about my reasons though. So yeah I think I have that at least.

I was just hoping I didn't come off angry at you. I'm still so new here and to this community as a whole I don't want to come off badly to ya'all.

Sorry for going off topic, but I've seen something that I've missed for a long time.
Steffi, Sarah and Amalina, this is such a good way to have a discussion.
Treads are often locked because things were nasty, I'm glad to see that it can be handled in a very mature way, thanks for that.
Now back to topic, It's hard to say what one would do, so many ppl, so many tastes.
I can only speak for myself, I didn't have any choice than going for transition, at leats that's the way I felt.
No one never know how things developing, for me it worked out very good, but I can imagine the doubts for ppl