Have you ever run across someone thats always positive and happy like life is just so eff'n wonderful and nothing ever goes wrong, everything is good and everything makes them happy and no one says anything mean to them, just really nice things because they are just so awesome and lucky.  Do you think people like that are full of it, just pretending in public but when they are by themselves they cry themselves to sleep like everyone else ?

I think that's the case with some people.

People always ask me why I've been so happy lately, I've really just been playing the "fake it til you make it" game.
I'm no where near as happy on the inside than I portray in real life or on the internet.. I'm slowly getting there though.

Then again this post doesn't sound too happy

I think I come across that way. Sometimes. With me it's just a constant effort not to slip into the crazies...if I get too negative I get damaged, ha. I don't think I'm full of it necessarily, I just focus on my blessings as opposed to my curses.

There is one girl I know like that on my yahoo messenger list and she acts like nothing ever goes wrong but I think she's full of it at times.  I was telling her how it sucks to live in South Carolina since my area isn't the most tolerant of LBGT people and she was like "I'm soooo glad I live in Cali blah blah it's so great here etc." Granted I DO want to move to Cali one day but her basically bragging while knowing my situation didn't help

I'm one of those people, I can't see the point of moaning, griping and grousing - it makes you look like a moany git, achieves nothing and brings everything down. I am more of the opinion, that you might as well acknowledge something good when it arrives and let the bad stuff sort itself out.

Ya but you seem like an actual naturally happy person. 

This is something I struggled with for a long time and I still struggle with it.  So far what I have come up with is that people are so different and people experiece life in different ways.  Some people give in to fate whole heartedly so not matter what happens it falls in the grand scheme of things somehow.  I also realized that if someone critisizing them they actually take the time to explain how what they other person is wrong and they don't allow their mood to dampen.  I don't care less when someone says something bad about me and then when I go back home I sulk and become sad .

I believe that fate is a bitch and I cannot trust it. I naturally don't think that everything is going to turn out rosy and I have a propensity to think that that is a good thing.  I kind of feel that it is romantic for things not to turn out that great.

Maybe this is not the greatest quality to have and maybe it is not a good thing.

I don't think about everything this way but for some reason in this matter I have a blacker outlook.

Something I've learned in the screenwriting industry is that many sociological high-school films want to comfort the "unpopulars" out there by portraying the "popular, happy, pretty" people as always having some sort of "dark secret that haunts them at night" and while many here want to think that this is real life, that everyone has equal problems, it's not. Most happy people are genuinely happy. It's not that tough to be happy. You most likely to be healthy, you most likely have to be somewhat attractive physically, or you most likely have to be super talented at something you enjoy. Hardly much else to it, and denial won't create it.

For example with me, an uncured growth disorder has caused a few extreme facial deformities that only around %0.5 of female population, and around %5 of the male population has. These few extreme features have caused severe bullying, discrimination, and self-hate in both my female and male "zones". I feel ugly as a male, I feel ugly as a female, and get told it regularly when I try to express either/or gender. I'm proud of most things about my slender body, and I know I'm lucky to have some managable traits like low weight (115lbs) and short stature, but I have a face that is beyond masculine and it really gets me down. It is indeed related to a health issue that should have been corrected, and has required surgery and still does. If I had gotten treatments in the beginning, my face wouldn't have grow to such proportions. To be happy, most people require health, which reflects in physical appearance. Most folks need social acceptance, which usually is based on appearance. Most people need to excel at their talents, which depending on the talent, can be hindered by physical appearance.

I mean, I hark on it alot, but as I've said before, I've rarely ever met an obese, bald, haggard, nasty looking person who could say they were happy without being addicted to World Of Warcraft, without going to church 5 days a week, and without living with their parents who feed them compliments every day. At the end of the day, people can't go out and live a normal life - and keep sane being surrounded by the worlds of sex, music, art, career, gossip, romance, interaction, education, ect ect - without having positive experiences, and most major, longlasting chemical and hormone altering positive experiences in society are, proven by study, traced to sexual and physical attraction, and the reception of it by someone who that person is indeed truly chemically attracted to. (Aka falling in love with the type of guy your mom wants you to have will not make you happy unless it's your upmost heart's desire to make your mom happy and you get turned on by that.)

There's a girl in our group who plays several instruments and is a professional actor.  I've only ever seen her in two modes:  contagious bouncing-off-the-walls euphoric, or worrying herself sick.   The latter is pretty rare, but it does make me wonder sometimes how much of the former is genuine.

I won't say I'm always positive; I'm prone to mild depression and occasionally I'm cranky.  But I try not to be bitter, and I think humor is one of the best ways to deal with almost anything.

Quote from: espo on January 05, 2012, 09:10:09 PM
Have you ever run across someone thats always positive and happy like life is just so eff'n wonderful and nothing ever goes wrong, everything is good and everything makes them happy and no one says anything mean to them, just really nice things because they are just so awesome and lucky.  Do you think people like that are full of it, just pretending in public but when they are by themselves they cry themselves to sleep like everyone else ?

Kia Ora Espo,

Being optimistic and positive tends to become a 'force of habit'...Where one has conditioned ones mind to react in a certain way[to find something positive] in any given situation...Once one's mind is conditioned in such a way it high on impossible to break the habit...

Another thing is 'altruism' ...Altruistic people tend to be happy positive people, because their happiness comes from helping others...And there's no shortage of sentient beings in need of help...

However the key[secret] to a happier life, is to understand that 'life' just 'is' and it all depends how one chooses to see it ! Put a positive spin on it[don't 'cling' to things-thoughts-feelings] and things will just flow as they are meant to, put a negative spin on it[by 'attaching' to things etc] and........Well we all know what happens when we do this........

However if one is clinically depressed, first and foremost they need to get professional help with this chemical imbalance....

Happy Mindfulness

Metta Zenda

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 06, 2012, 04:41:34 PM
I'm one of those people, I can't see the point of moaning, griping and grousing - it makes you look like a moany git, achieves nothing and brings everything down. I am more of the opinion, that you might as well acknowledge something good when it arrives and let the bad stuff sort itself out.

Kia Ora Pica,

The secret behind your balanced approach to life is "patience" and this comes from working with small children [and animals] doing so one will develop plenty of it ! 

You teach the children and in return they teach you patience 

Metta Zenda

Most of the happy people I know tend to be more realistic than the unhappy ones.  They view something bad as a setback perhaps, or a fluke - but not as an event that will determine the rest of their lives.

Quote from: tekla on January 07, 2012, 07:11:31 PM
Most of the happy people I know tend to be more realistic than the unhappy ones.  They view something bad as a setback perhaps, or a fluke - but not as an event that will determine the rest of their lives.

I agree.  I also find that anyone who is too far to either extreme to be somewhat fake.  Most people have a balance of both.  And I'd say there is a difference between being happy in public and being fake-happy.  I think a lot of us are taught not to show pain outwardly. 

Kia Ora,

"Being content with things doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It just means you have decided to look beyond the 'imperfections' !" And some people have learnt to do just that...

Metta Zenda

Positive people rarely seem extreme at either end of the spectrum.  Most often they come across as serious, but having fun.  That's really what the whole deal about following your bliss is, it's not that its' going to be all blissfulness, it's that you can be serious, dedicated and focused on the task, all while enjoying yourself doing just that. 

Kia Ora,

 

Metta Zenda

I believe that fate is a bitch and I cannot trust it. I naturally don't think that everything is going to turn out rosy and I have a propensity to think that that is a good thing.  I kind of feel that it is romantic for things not to turn out that great. Metroland

It might be romantic if I had a partner. Us against the world, overcoming obstacles, working from poverty into riches. Someone that would stick with me through it all. You can't trust fate and you can't trust people and you can't trust circumstances and you can't trust your feelings.

I used to be very unhappy, worrying about things going wrong but since then, with the exception of my health (touch wood) many of the things I feared would go wrong, many the humiliations and failures I hoped I wouldn't make, happened and oddly enough, it wasn't so bad.

Especially as my sense of my self, who I am and what I did became stronger as I went on, I realised all I needed was a little bit of warmth, nutrition, distraction and conversation to make me content, and a little more of those things to make me happy. Doesn't mean I don't get down on occasion, frustrated by late buses and irritated by people etc.. and there are always those days when the sky feels too heavy for you - but a little bit of good luck (a very little bit) or a cup of tea that tastes really good, or a joke from a friend - reminds that things aren't so bad. And they really aren't, you just need to know what the very least you need to be content and learn to recognise when life exceeds that.

there are always those days when the sky feels too heavy for you

Beautiful phrase.  Is that your amazing writing, or is that some quaint saying from the Old World?

I think I made it up.