So I'm going out with my friends presenting female for the first time in forever tomorrow.
I've finally build up my confidence again after something that had happened a long time ago in public.

Basically it had to do with using the women's restroom.
I was in the restroom with my friends at a movie theatre and I was called out by a mother and security threatened to kick me out of the building.
I told them I was transgender but he told me I didn't belong in the women's restroom.
He bluntly and rudely told me to use the mens the next time since I "looked like a guy". (He basically bashed me lol)
I had told him I haven't started medically transitioning yet but he thought I was coming up excuses and got the manager of the place.
Long story short I got kicked out of the theatre for trying to stand up for myself, almost got banned.

I'm now on hormones and everything as a lot of you know, but I still haven't gotten a carry on letter that says I'm transitioning and I'm legally allowed to use the womens restroom.
I'm going to the same theatre, what should I do?
It's obvious I'm saying that eventually I'm going to have to use the restroom and I REALLY do not feel comfortable using the mens restroom.

I also feel that my young age is what got me treated badly.
I could tell on his face he did not take anything I was saying seriously.

So I'm lost and a little paranoid aaaand I need advice.

You said it was a long time ago and you said it was before you were on HRT. But now you're now on HRT and I'm assuming you've been so for many months now. I don't know exactly how long a "long time ago" is, but shouldn't you be passing by now? Like why do you think it's going to be a problem? Do you feel like you don't pass as a woman?

I read another post of yours where you said guys hit on you. Lettuce be cereal: teenage guys are so sensitive to anything that threatens their heterosexuality that I guarantee that you wouldn't be getting hit on unless you passed.

I think it's a non issue.

Hi JoeyD,

Before i was passing I'd use the restroom according to the way I dressed. To know for sure that others realize based on you dressing your attempted gender can be trickey unless you are wearing a dress for instance. The shoes are in my opinion very important as they can be seen not only while walking but also while sitting on the toallete. I,m assuming you'd never stand and pee!!!!
So just be quick, but don't avoid looks that might meet you in there. Give a smile as well! The big difference between the guys and ladies restroom is the guys avoid looks, seek no interection and the ladies do the opposite.

If you get in trouble with the manager again stick to your original story and bring up the loyer if he is not willing to listen. Usually people react to the threat of the law suit if they have ignored you until then.

If you run into trouble again and get kicked out, bring your doctors letter to the manager and ask your name to be cleared. If they call the cops, they usually listen better to what you have to say than the theater managers.

Good luck!

Quote from: jdinatale on January 06, 2012, 07:30:31 PM
You said it was a long time ago and you said it was before you were on HRT. But now you're now on HRT and I'm assuming you've been so for many months now. I don't know exactly how long a "long time ago" is, but shouldn't you be passing by now? Like why do you think it's going to be a problem? Do you feel like you don't pass as a woman?

I read another post of yours where you said guys hit on you. Lettuce be cereal: teenage guys are so sensitive to anything that threatens their heterosexuality that I guarantee that you wouldn't be getting hit on unless you passed.

I think it's a non issue.

It's more of a confidence issue.
I really don't think I'm ready to go up against that douchebag "cop" again. or someone else who tries to kick me out.

But you did make me feel better.
I get hit on through facebook though haha, sort of a big difference.

Quote from: envie on January 06, 2012, 07:38:53 PM
Hi JoeyD,

Before i was passing I'd use the restroom according to the way I dressed. To know for sure that others realize based on you dressing your attempted gender can be trickey unless you are wearing a dress for instance. The shoes are in my opinion very important as they can be seen not only while walking but also while sitting on the toallete. I,m assuming you'd never stand and pee!!!!
So just be quick, but don't avoid looks that might meet you in there. Give a smile as well! The big difference between the guys and ladies restroom is the guys avoid looks, seek no interection and the ladies do the opposite.

If you get in trouble with the manager again stick to your original story and bring up the loyer if he is not willing to listen. Usually people react to the threat of the law suit if they have ignored you until then.

If you run into trouble again and get kicked out, bring your doctors letter to the manager and ask your name to be cleared. If they call the cops, they usually listen better to what you have to say than the theater managers.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice (:

A letter won't prevent you from having to deal with ignorant @$$holes... that's just part of life. 

I have a letter, but I had been using female restrooms for about 3 years prior to my first shrink visit or HRT. I actually have never carried my "carry letter" anywhere come to think of it. It stays at home. Confidence is a big part of the equation. Go in, do what you need to do and leave. I have a feeling you just ran in to some self-rightous mother who believes she needs to protect her kids from the world... don't sweat it, life will deal with her. 

Keep doing what you are doing. Life goes on, and its way too short to sweat the details.