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What if being transgendered is just a problem of lack of expression?

Started by Orw, January 06, 2012, 01:06:40 AM

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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: Asha on January 06, 2012, 04:11:59 PM
  Not really, don't you collect toys as a hobby and go to toy and comic cons? That isn't nerdy?  :laugh:


No and no. Either way, the interests never dominated my life...


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Inanna

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 06, 2012, 01:56:05 PM
A lot of the transsexuals I've met. I feel being trans for them is escapism. I mean look at how many geeks are transsexuals. No one finds that at all weird?

Your cause and effect are a bit backwards.  They were geeks due to escapism.  In transition they're rejoining the world as a real human being.
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Constance

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 06, 2012, 04:19:01 PM
The world of Warcraft!!!!
/* OFF TOPIC */

My nephew met his fiancee through World of Warcraft Online.

/* END OFF TOPIC */

MacKenzie

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 06, 2012, 04:14:16 PM
No and no. Either way, the interests never dominated my life...

Lies!  :)

Anyway no I don't think it's a lack of expression at all. That sounds like some theory from from the 50's. Lol
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Dana_H

While self-expression (or obstacles thereto) undoubtedly figures into my situation, I see it more as a consequence than a cause. Primarily, I identify as female because I cannot relate to male social conventions, feel more calm and relaxed when I think of myself as female, have to suppress feelings of panic when using a group shower in a men's locker room unless I am alone, and feel uncomfortable with seeing a male body in the mirror every day. I don't know if I would ever want to bear a child or not, but I do wish the choice had not be made for me before my birth.

On the subject of transgender geeks, I have found that geek culture is generally rather open-minded regarding matters of self expression and self identity. This, no-doubt, provides closeted transpeople a much more friendly environment in which to come out. Just look at all the gender bending that occurs in science-fiction, fantasy, and anime/manga books, videos, and games. It is not unusual to find cisgender and transgender crossplayers (cross-gender cosplay) at conventions for these genres, especially anime/manga.

As to World of Warcraft and the like, this is one geek (and a computer geek at that) who finds computer games mind-numbingly boring. I'd much rather play "pen and paper" RPGs, Scrabble, Eurorails, Fluxx, Poker, or even Dominoes than a computer game. I don't see anything wrong with computer games, I just don't get any enjoyment from them.
Call me Dana. Call me Cait. Call me Kat. Just don't call me late for dinner.
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Annah

Quote from: Mahsa the disco shark on January 06, 2012, 01:56:05 PM
I feel being trans for them is escapism. I mean look at how many geeks are transsexuals. No one finds that at all weird? I mean I wish that was what people thought of when they heard the word '->-bleeped-<-" as opposed to thinking drag race + hormones.

I am surprised you would say that  someone who doesn't fit your profile of what is cool then that genre of people must be escaping or a fake transgender? Half of your facebook profile pics are of "Transformers" and "GI Joe" and you hugging an R2 Unit from "Star Wars" so your convictions seem to be double standard. I've never been to a Star Wars/Comic Con\anime convention. You've been to a few (or similiar)....to some that would constitute as "geeky"

For someone (you) who has been trying to explain to others you are a girl even tho you also sometimes identify as something that others find hard to accept, you sure are quick to point out and judge others because they are "geeky."

Being a geek doesn't disqualify someone's feelings of their gender. Only they themselves know if they are true to themselves or not.

Be careful what you are saying because your comment is hard to tell the difference between that of an ->-bleeped-<-r than tho mentality where you decide who is and who is not a real girl
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Mahsa Tezani

Quote from: Annah on January 07, 2012, 12:51:08 AM
I am surprised you would say that  someone who doesn't fit your profile of what is cool then that genre of people must be escaping or a fake transgender? Half of your facebook profile pics are of "Transformers" and "GI Joe" and you hugging an R2 Unit from "Star Wars" so your convictions seem to be double standard. I've never been to a Star Wars/Comic Con\anime convention. You've been to a few (or similiar)....to some that would constitute as "geeky"

I went to that convention to take pics with the freaks.

I have a thing for futuristic helmets and my boyfriend is a geek.
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30kps

Quote from: Dana_H on January 07, 2012, 12:41:30 AM
On the subject of transgender geeks, I have found that geek culture is generally rather open-minded regarding matters of self expression and self identity. This, no-doubt, provides closeted transpeople a much more friendly environment in which to come out. Just look at all the gender bending that occurs in science-fiction, fantasy, and anime/manga books, videos, and games. It is not unusual to find cisgender and transgender crossplayers (cross-gender cosplay) at conventions for these genres, especially anime/manga.

This seems to be the truth, from what I've seen. The geek subculture is sort of like the Island of Misfit Toys, in a good way. It's a collection of all sorts of people, many of whom don't feel they fit into popular culture. It's also very much creativity-centric; whatever you create is perfectly fine.  That's a healthy environment for transgender kids, since they already feel awkward and feel like their body doesn't match their mind.

Just saying being transgendered is escapism is missing a crucial element, i.e. the cause for escapism. People who are happy with their lives don't need escapism. However, people who feel like they aren't quite whole want to feel whole. So they fill it with whatever escapism they like (books, games, movies, etc.) but it doesn't quite do the job. However,once they discover that they can actually be whole (transitioning), then they start the process rolling and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. For some people being transgendered probably is escapism, but it likely doesn't contribute much to the overall picture. In many ways cross-dressing and drag are escapism, but I wouldn't just say that any large number of drag queens/kings and crossdressers only do it to escape. I knew people who did it to attack cultural norms. I know someone else who does it because it's fun for her.

Just saying "a bunch of transgendered people are geeks" and doing a "wink, wink" is nonsense. It is much more likely due to the open-minded attitude in geek culture. I'm a trans geek, and I find no escapism in physically becoming a girl. I'm becoming fully myself, so there really is no "escape." That being said, I don't speak for all trans people. Some do it for escapism, but I just don't see the trans/geek link the way Mahsa does.
Despite what my profile pictures show, I am a very smiley and upbeat person. I'm merely the least photogenic person alive, that's all :P
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Constance

For me, the escapism was before transition. Now that I'm transitioning and am living my true self (yes, I know, there it is again), my need for escapism has been greatly diminished. These days, it's thoughts of the divorce that drive my desire for escapism.

Diane Elizabeth

        For me, my ability to express myself as a female vs male doesn't change by much.  I am who I am.   I do like to wear my hair long and dress in a feminine way.  This has only become more prevailing for me as time goes on.  As a kid it was fun to raid mommy's closet to wear her silky nlons and other things.  But I have found that this is my time to enjoy myself.  I still have to get over myself to accomplish my transition.  But transitioning hasn't made a big change of me on the inside.  It is me.
Having you blanket in the wash is like finding your psychiatrist is gone for the weekend!         Linus "Peanuts"
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supremecatoverlord

I am not transitioning so others can accept me.

I'm transitioning so I can accept myself.

It'd be nice if other people accept me on the way, sure, but that's not what keeps me happy at the end of the day.

So, no, this isn't a problem of expression - I've always expressed myself just fine, but I was born with a body that gave me a lot of limitations when it came to this type of expression.
Meow.



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Assoluta

My personal reason for transitioning was simply as it made sense for my core identity, not necessarily to express myself in a more feminine way, although that certainly was a PART of transition, and it very much made me happier. It just wasn't the crux of the matter. However, when one becomes happier with more feminine expression, it can elicit questioning thoughts such as "is it just a case of wanting to express my feminine side?". There is a fine line between wanting to look female and be female and only the person themselves can truly make that distinction for their own lives.

There are some people who transition just because they want to look female but still identify as 'trans' or 'male' in some way. Within the narrow definition of what it means to be a 'true transsexual', it may mean that they are 'less trans' than the typical case, but in the end, who cares? The reasons are irrelevant to anyone else but the person transitioning. I don't say this as part of my personal experience, as I probably fit the "classic transsexual" model and transitioning with full SRS, etc. Judging people as 'less' trans or whatever is irrelevant as why should people adhere to any kind of pathologic model anyway?

QuoteBut transitioning hasn't made a big change of me on the inside.  It is me.

Interesting - I know a fair few trans people who feel that they don't go through a big intrapersonal change, it's more the external and interpersonal factors that change. However, for me, I feel like I am in a hugely different psychological place than pre-transition. When I started, I thought it would simply be an external change, and that I wouldn't become a different person, but to some extent I did - while my personality, memories and interests remained largely the same, my sense of self and psychological sense of being and perception changed dramatically, and that was the most painful and simultaneously liberating part of transition.
It takes balls to go through SRS!

My singing and music channel - Visit pwetty pwease!!!:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kibouo?feature=mhee
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