I feel so screwed over that issue!
This girl is all sweets, honey pie, sweetie, and God knows what all over me - in her WORDS!... yet words are cheap.

If she was freshly screwed by her brand new boy friend, and LOTS of that (she's 45, he 38), she feels like giving me hugs and kisses, and I just get SO screwed up inside, it hurts!!
It's SO bitter-sweet, too much, just too much. And I may not SHOW it!

I have a crush on her... OK, must be, though it would NEVER, EVER work out between the two of us, ever. I'm too old, too ugly, don't have a dick... and she needs lots of that, she's straight for all I know and she knows. Presently.

It just turn my gut inside out and I want to vomit.
What's wrong with me?
The only thing that comes up, I'm now going to be some antiquated lipstick-lesbian! Looking for a 100 year old dame with lipstick smeared all over her face – 'cause she can't see no more, eish!

Can I then EVER be FRIENDS with any sexy GG, or WHAT?!
I try so hard to be friends, but it screws me all over, so I just have to dump the relationship.
Brutally! No more emails, SMS, phone calls and un-friend her in FB.
As if she did something horrid to me, which she didn't! - Just prefers dick over my ever present ->-bleeped-<-y usefulness, and I don't want to play that game no more. Tough. Horrible. Most unkind, etc. etc. etc.

Friends should be fun – not PAIN, or? So if they give you pain, got to pull the plug on them, right?

Though do I also feel a lot of her 'sweetness' is just some GG talk, so I look after her dogs when she has yet another week-end screwing sessions. Then -  I seem to be in demand to be the nice godmother to her doggies again, all on my lonesome own.

Is this just an old-girl's school-girl-crush? Unrequited lust? And if so, - is walking way from it the best remedy? I mean WHAT ELSE TO DO???

It's so sad in a way, but I just can't seem to help myself.
Had to get off THAT bus. Dumping a sweet manipulator – one that would NEVER admit to it EVER.
Try being FRIENDS with someone you have a crush on... doesn't work, - now doesn't it?

I hate to hurt people but should that mean to keep hurting myself?
Axélle

Hi Axelle

Well, you can be friends, only not in the way you want to.
Maybe it's for the better girl, you know there is always a danger in a lesbian relationship.
I have a friend for more than 25 years, when she is happy, I'm happy, when she is hurt, I feel the pain.
No single hair on my head would start another relationship with her than just being friends.
Why? This friendship is very valuable to me, when I should have a relationship with her and it wouldn't work, I would lost my friend.
There was a time I had a crush on her, but there was always that little voice inside me who said......don't even think about it.
She had her bf's and I was happy for her, didn't work out and the boys left, I'm still there and we still do the girly things together.
I still enjoy her presence, we do a lot of nice things and we can share our deepest toughts, I can trust her and she can trust me, that's for me more important than to admit to the crush.
the crush will vanishe, the friendship stays.
Hope this helps
Annette

Gosh Annette, speaking from experience thank you!

I hear what you say - loud and clear – you're right, but my heart has one tough time when on bf goes, the next one comes and I feel ever so side-lined.

If I had no crush on her it be far less of an issue, right?
Yet, all this crush-thing is so... IMMATURE, and it's what puts poison in the cup of friendships. Immature, and I can't seem to handle it.

... more girly puberty to deal with? And I just though I be done by now, eish!

Thank hon and hug,
Axélle

Quote from: annette on January 11, 2012, 04:49:46 AM
No single hair on my head would start another relationship with her than just being friends.
Why? This friendship is very valuable to me, when I should have a relationship with her and it wouldn't work, I would lost my friend.
There was a time I had a crush on her, but there was always that little voice inside me who said......don't even think about it.
the crush will vanishe, the friendship stays.

Once upon a time, I was exactly the same. I would never risk a good friendship for a crush I've developed. But right now, I've fallen for this friend, one of my best friend, I want him so much that if the opportunity ever arise I would be willing to risk it. Maybe it's because I now want a relationship more than ever, the hormones, or simply because I want him more than I've wanted anyone. *Shrug* Who knows.

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on January 11, 2012, 04:25:57 AM
What's wrong with me?

Nothing sweeite. I've always loved your sense of humour. Someone will laugh one day... someone will. Trust me. And that smile WILL melt your heart!

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on January 11, 2012, 04:25:57 AM
I mean WHAT ELSE TO DO???

Exactly what you're doing now. Let it out. Mull it over. Get over it. Get into it. Do what you do- Vent, rinse and repeat.


I sincerely wish you heart all the best in it's endeavours to feel.

OXOXOXO

You such a honey, thanks Jenny!

Not being directly involved HELPS SO MUCH.

In the olden day's I just say, "I'm once again having my nuts roasted" - now what girly part to roast???

It's awful having to give someone the boot "because you actually just can NOT handle them..." and it being so terribly awkward to even get into the subject, - of 'whys', and 'how comes' et al.

Now even more so, if the other person is yet again sooo 'deeply' involved after her second dinner date with a dude... eh, eish, grrr...
Groans of a lipstick-lessie.

Thanks again all,
Axélle

The alternative is risky.
you could say, you have a crush on her.
Two things can happen, she won't see you anymore, or....she likes girls(YOU) too.

To have a crush on someone isn't immature, no sweetie, it means your alive.
I'm not quite sure what kind of parts you can roast now, give me more time to think about it.


hugs
Annette

Thanks Annette,

the alternative is ... not sure what to call it?

She (Virgo) needs 'dick' more then her two Yorkies, which she LOVES to bits!

Her previous 'dip-stick' was 20 years younger then her, and her new 2 week old one is still 8 years younger then her. I'm 20! years older then her...

Her father has a crush on her - which she hates! So maybe that will explain better WHY this is a 'dump-and-run-for-the-woods' situation, no?

In the end, I just be a sucker for punishment... so 'out-of-sight-out-of-mind' will hopefully be the answer. The sad thing is, it's not HER fault me having a crush! Sad!
Yet, she's such a princess in any case, that I will NOT be pursued by her. I have no fear of that!

Old girl crushes... I thinks it's a bit of a gay, male and female, sad situation.

Learning more each day, eish
Axélle

Quote from: annette on January 12, 2012, 06:54:27 PM
Two things can happen, she won't see you anymore, or....she likes girls(YOU) too.

The first being highly more likely. An unfortunate side effect of living in a world where the overwhelming majority of girls are not interested in other girls, is that invariably you are going to fall for a girl who is not interested in you. It happens to most gay girls while going through puberty. I've been there. It just sucks, especially when they flirt with you. 

Either you can stick around and hope your crush fades away, or you can move on. At a certain point it just becomes an exercise in masochism.

I really suggest you try meeting some women who you know actually like other women. Which means they might like you. Crushing on straight girls seems to diminish for most of us after you've had a relationship or two. You learn to just not let yourself go there.

Best of luck, Axelle. I feel for you. God, the hormones make me WANT more than I ever have before. Can't wait for my surgery so I can recover and start trying to date properly. That's going to be interesting.

Facing up to the fact that I'm a lesbian --- it's more scary then MtF for me.

Don't ask me why, but so it is.

OMG, where to put this now?

...
Axélle
PS: May I stop dilating now? A small 'benefit' to get from this after all...
PPS: OMG, and all the rich millionaires flushed down the toilet, - devastating.
PPPS: All the straight girls running for cover.
PPPPS: And yet another dream bubble burst...does ever end?