Hey everyone!

My name is Amalia. I'm 21. I'm proud to say that I'm just a year away from obtaining my bachelor's degree!

Now to the more serious part - I'm MTF, though I just identify as a woman. I remember feeling extremely depressed about my gender ever since the age of 5. I rebelled against my parents' strict expectations and begged them for everything girly only to be ridiculed and mocked by my family. This lead me to suppress my personhood to the point where I couldn't recognize myself. It was absolutely dreadful.

At 18, after being heartbroken by my ex-boyfriend, I went down a spiral of negativity and overeating. I tend to be an emotional eater and that's how I dealt with most of my problems. This went on for almost 2 years and I reached a breaking point. I was crying myself to sleep almost every night.

At 19, I reached out for help. I had my first therapy session. It was relieving to finally have the support I always longed for. It has been difficult to confront these feelings and make true progress while still living at home, but I have managed well thus far. I'm eating significantly healthier and losing tons of weight. I've come out to three of my brothers and most of my friends. My friends have been nothing but supportive. One of my brothers had difficulty accepting it at first, but recently, things have been different with him in a positive way. I plan to come out to the rest of my siblings soon (I have a big family).

I've been on t-blockers for almost 8 months and estrogen for 5 months and counting (it'll be 6 months on the 26th). Unfortunately, not being able to share this exciting aspect of my life with my parents really puts me down sometimes. My parents were both born and raised in the Dominican Republic and were both brought up Catholic, which only adds to my distress (UGH!). However, I'm happy to say that my wonderful group of amazing friends have supported me throughout this journey and couldn't ask for anything more from them.

Now to the fun part - things I love! I love, love, love fashion! I love learning about different cultures. I love traveling. I love dancing (by myself of course, lol). I love learning new languages. I love cooking (I'm learning). I love New York City. I love having stimulating conversations about anything (religion, politics, sex, love, fashion, etc). I love men, haha. Okay, I think that's enough for now!

I'm looking to find more support here. I'm so happy to have found Susan's Place. I hope you all enjoyed reading my long introduction!

Hi Amalia, welcome to Susans! I get emotional about eating, but that's because I'm such a great cook! Speaking of food, the best thing about NYC is thin crust pizza. I'm hungry now. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

Welcome, Amalia!

Hi Amalia,it's nice to meet you.Hugs,Rachael.

Thank you all for your warm welcome!

Devlyn, I definitely have to agree with you on that one. Thin crust pizza here is delicious! NYC is heaven for food lovers!

Hello, Amalia. Welcome!

I am proud of you for reaching out for help. And you're about ready to take a degree home, so that's another thing to definitely be proud of. It also looks like we share a love for language and culture in general.

See ya around.

Thanks for your encouraging words Max! 

Which languages do you speak?

Hi  amalialamour,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm so damned glad you have found this remarkable family. You are like a breathe of fresh air, with an attitude like yours. I'm so confident of you getting your Bachelors degree, I'll congratulate you now. The zest you have for life and living, I can't see how any Uni could deny you those honours.

I'm confident your family situation will improve vastly as time goes on. The understanding and confidence you have in yourself is infectious, and can only powerfully persuade your circle of influence that what you are doing, is the best and only viable option. I'm immensely proud of you.

Being an RC myself (Retired Catholic) I understand where your parents are coming from. Although I say "retired" it is more from a standpoint of wanting to be released from their governance and authority ascribed to me though third parties. Regrettably that option is no longer available, nor is excommunication. Hence I have walked my own path on the matter.

Looking forward to hearing more from you in the coming months, I wish you every success in journey. Enjoy your stay, I hope it is fruitful for you. In the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Hi Catherine,

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kind words. It means so much to me and definitely reinforces the reason I joined this forum. I'm glad to be a part of the diverse family here

Thank you for your perspective. Religion works for some and for others it just doesn't. I have definitely challenged my mom's view on religion on many occasions, but unfortunately our discussions always turn into arguments. We have since agreed to disagree and this seems to work for both of us.

Once again, thank you for your warm welcome. I sincerely appreciate it. I wish you all the best as well. <3

Amalia