Ok,  so I do a lot of reading, and very little talking...  Just to put that out there.

4 days ago I started HRT and I can honestly say without a doubt that it feels right.  I haven't felt this good in a very long time and can't wait to start seeing changes.

With that being said...

Today I received a very unexpected call from my first and to this day, true love.  She expressed to me her maturation and how much she longed for what we had.


My anxiety level has just volcano'ed as I, for the first time feel correct and with a meaningful path ahead of me.  But here is the thing...  This is the girl of my dreams and for all intent's purpose would do anything  in a second for her.. always have, and always will..


I'm beyond the point of conflicted and don't know how to move forward with this..

All lives move on...different times, different places.

Your life has moved on to a different gender...if she's cool with that, the two of you are good to go.

If she's not...well, love must be a two-way street in order to function.

Best of luck to you both.

Hmm... regret not taking her back and possibly move on.
Regret stopping for her when this makes you happier.
I would tell her, but I wouldn't give it up as personally I would regret that for the rest of my life.

Quote from: galena on January 20, 2012, 10:32:49 PM
Ok,  so I do a lot of reading, and very little talking...  Just to put that out there.

4 days ago I started HRT and I can honestly say without a doubt that it feels right.  I haven't felt this good in a very long time and can't wait to start seeing changes.

With that being said...

Today I received a very unexpected call from my first and to this day, true love.  She expressed to me her maturation and how much she longed for what we had.

I'm beyond the point of conflicted and don't know how to move forward with this..

Well I can tell you my experience. I ditched my gender issues when I was young for a woman I loved (and still do) we got married and after 5 years melted down mostly do to my internal rage/conflict. We divorced and I didn't see her for years. Now she is my best friend and we still love each other but "not that way" now. We both have boy friends etc but spend a lot of quality time together. I think if you really love her, be honest. maybe you won't be together like you were but in a new wonderful way. She could be a HUGE support for you during your transition?

Well, if anything to go by, you might be a 'male-lesbian' having been with the girl of your dreams in a 'pseudo-lesbian' relationship...

Now you may well be on the path to become a 'female-lesbian' --- it's exactly what happened to myself.

This COULD be explained, yes? ....

Food for though, and be easy on the dear lady in question (on you AND on her :-)

Axélle

I think I can relate to this pretty well. 

So, about 5 years ago, I was accepted to med school about a month after I came out to my partner.  I spent the previous 4 years busting my butt to receive that letter.  The problem I faced was that I was in a very conservative part of the US and there was no way that I could have transitioned while in school.  Way too much social stress and academic stress.  I chose school. 

Fast forward 5 years later.  School didn't work out.  I couldn't focus.  I tried to become more masculine in hopes of overcoming my feelings.  I gained a lot of muscle mass, and I looked really good for a boy, but I wasn't happy.  I ended up taking a medical withdrawl and I spent the next year and a half working through things.  I'm now 3 months into HRT and I've never felt so happy.  I struggled a bit for the first month, but about 2.5 months in I really started feeling great about who I am.

It's your decision, but for me, I'm glad I ended up where I am.

@verde

Cool to see another doctor around! I'm facing quite a lot of stress as well at university, because that is where I am transitioning. My classmates have not been very accepting. I guess, the medical profession is conservative by default

It's a Boy's Club.  It really is.  Atleast where I am, mostly male and just an overall sense of entitlement.  One of the many examples of what's wrong with our healthcare system.

Thank you ladies.  You're perspective is enlightening to say the least.  I'm having dinner with her tonight.  I hope I can have the courage to tell her.

Stephe's story sounds about right for this.   Be careful. There's another thread on here where someone started and stopped because of a girl.