Quote from: Bishounen on January 21, 2012, 12:53:31 PM
Agreed. 
However I must ask out of curiousity; I have gotten the impression from the posts I have read of yours, that you have never really considered any MTF as being non-passing, in regards to actual facial features, only regerding makeup and/or "style", yes?
If that is correctly understood of me, then what is it in, for instance, a makeup that, to you, makes a T-person look male and not cis-female?
I do not mean it that way, not at all, however I do think that many people on a semi-subcounsious level very often tell someone that they pass to be kind and aid that persons self-esteem, which is fully understandable and in its basics good.
Mind you, this only applies when someone does this either knowingly or partly knowingly- Not if someone- for instance you- Truly DO think that someone really pass.
No. Not true. I have stated that if a woman has several facial features that look masculine that she will not pass. For example a strong brow and a five o'clock shadow. That would be a flag.
But what I am saying is that if you take that woman and put lots of make up on her, she'll pass even worse.
I think the biggest problem that I have seen is trying cover up masculine features. For example if you have an adams apple and you wear lots of neck scarfs I think it would stand out to me more than if you just had an adams apple but lots of feminine features.
Take women who do have adams apples like the hideous Ann Coulter. She never covers it up. She just ignores it. By wearing scarfs to cover it up I would think she's actually drawing attention to it.
A good way to think of it is wrinkles on the skin. If a woman wears make up to cover up the wrinkles on the skin 9 times out of 10 she's just going to make them stand out even more.
Seems to me that people think that lavishing on make up is a way of covering up male features. To me you just look like a guy with lots of make up on.
I think passing has to start with the inside. I think this stage of development is what comes naturally to a cisgendered girl. You go through puberty, suffer the hell of high school. Try to figure out how to make it work.
Usually that involves ignoring your worst features and playing up your good features. It also involves creating a "look."
Take Rumor Willis. What is she supposed to do with her "potato head" She's teased about it all the time. But she's got a choice. She can do plastic surgery or she can just let it go, accept what she's got. Emphasize the best and work on the rest.
Take Kelly Osbourne. We've watched her transformation. She figured out how to work her best features. She will never be able to get rid of her stocky legs. The poor thing is doomed. She's said that most people are shocked to see how petite she is in person because the media has made such a big deal.
She looks very beautiful to me now because she's found her groove. But her stages of growth are well documented.
She could have gone her mothers route and had loads of plastic surgery etc. But the more natural she's become (even with purple grey hair) what makes her beautiful now is that she's confident in what she has to work with.
To me the "Do I Pass" thread is useless if we don't know the kind of look and groove the other person is going for.
Why I tend to object in that thread is when people tell others Do your hair this way, grow it out, put on make up, get a corset, wear a push up bra etc etc etc.
These things can help you with your appearance. But the way you will be a woman is to just BE a woman. I think the bigger problem is years of being afraid to just be the woman you are because you are afraid that there is something wrong with doing that.
To me that is the obstacle. Not the appearance. If you have spent years pretending to be a man because your body is male. You have also spent years not being free as a woman. You have been trapped in your own body.
If a transgendered woman could just open the door and walk through the streets being the woman she is, if nothing would stop her, no one would stop and stare, no one would question it. I don't think she'd spend time trying to be a woman. Because she would already be one.
So when you say that I seem to think everyone passes. I guess a bit yes. Not everyone is pretty. But everyone looks like a woman to me.
Then again, the world doesn't operate that way.
There is a difference between offering feedback that is helpful and telling someone they don't pass. IMO
