Now that I've finally gotten FFS and look human again (15 days post op), my confidence level has gone waaaaaaaaay up. It's an amazing feeling. I look at people straight in the eye now. I'm more social. I love it. Its such a gratifying feeling. I can now just LIVE!

  That's awesome Jen! I can't wait to have my FFS done, hopfully sometime this year.

  Once all your swelling goes down you should post some before and after pic's! 

Letting you know now, it's not easy and the harder the recovery will be depends on how much you get done but it'll all be worth it. And yeah, I'll post pics once I'm healed. I'm so happy.

I can strongly second this. Anytime we can make the world see us as we see ourselves we gain freedom from worry and peace. Isn't that what confidence is?  I am so much happier now.  The part of me others see is female where before only I could see that.

It reminds me of she used to come out to the world.  The person in the video is her as she sees herself, but others and the mirror show her current outsides. We all take small steps toward that every day. Painting nails, waxing eyebrows, feminine hair cuts, hrt effects. Some of us may not feel we need as much to match, but for those of us that do this is a HUGE leap forward.

That's so great, Jen!

Between some FFS and getting my voice decent was a 100% improvement in my self confidence and ability to just be a normal woman.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on January 22, 2012, 05:17:15 PM
Now that I've finally gotten FFS and look human again (15 days post op), my confidence level has gone waaaaaaaaay up. It's an amazing feeling. I look at people straight in the eye now. I'm more social. I love it. Its such a gratifying feeling. I can now just LIVE!

I know, it's amazing to be able to let yourself think that if people are looking at you it might not be because you're trans!

I'm pretty sure I didn't look that human 15 days post-op though, well done!

My avatar's two months post-op and I think I still look swollen.

Siobhan.

Quote from: Jeneva on January 22, 2012, 07:17:49 PM
It reminds me of Mina Caputo's 'Got Monsters' video she used to come out to the world.  The person in the video is her as she sees herself, but others and the mirror show her current outsides. We all take small steps toward that every day. Painting nails, waxing eyebrows, feminine hair cuts, hrt effects. Some of us may not feel we need as much to match, but for those of us that do this is a HUGE leap forward.

Wow, knowing nothing of her story, when I saw that video I totally read it backwards. I thought she looked right, but the mirror was her self-image, her past haunting her. I guess that's how I related to it.

Heh, it was that video that convinced me to push my hairdresser to cut my hair above my jawline. 'Cause I thought "well if she can do it, I can do it!" God, I'm clueless sometimes.

Anyway, that's awesome Jen. Really happy for you.

FFS creates a miracle.   In most cases I've seen.  I wish everyone who wanted it could just get it for free.  Sigh.  Can't wait to see pictures JenJen

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 25, 2012, 02:49:27 PM
Wow, knowing nothing of her story, when I saw that video I totally read it backwards. I thought she looked right, but the mirror was her self-image, her past haunting her. I guess that's how I related to it.

Heh, it was that video that convinced me to push my hairdresser to cut my hair above my jawline. 'Cause I thought "well if she can do it, I can do it!" God, I'm clueless sometimes.

Anyway, that's awesome Jen. Really happy for you.

Me too, me too!  Then I looked at pictures online and was like "oh."

Quote from: Wonderdyke on January 25, 2012, 03:44:41 PM
Me too, me too!  Then I looked at pictures online and was like "oh."

Like in the bar, I thought the girl was all "look, you look great, stop worrying," and she's all making the "yer crazy" face. And then with the bloke, she's saying "no I'm not ready yet" 'cause she's still so screwed up about her body. She even does that hesitation thing that I used to do when I dragged myself away from mirrors.

And she's kinda tomboyish and she has a really cool tattoo and her style is a lot like mine...

I am so disillusioned right now.

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 25, 2012, 04:07:21 PM
And she's kinda tomboyish and she has a really cool tattoo and her style is a lot like mine...

That feather tattoo on her neck is AWESOME!

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 25, 2012, 02:49:27 PM
Heh, it was that video that convinced me to push my hairdresser to cut my hair above my jawline. 'Cause I thought "well if she can do it, I can do it!" God, I'm clueless sometimes.

But it was a GG getting away with it so why can't you?  It looked great on her.  Actually it looked more than great, but I'm happily married and not going to become a cougar.

Here is an Advocate article that explains a bit more.

We have Siruis in both cars and bounce between Lithium and Octane (if you dig around fat wallet you can get it for CHEAP).  Earlier this summer there were times I had to change the channel just because I couldn't stand the transphobia from two of the male octane DJs.

Anyway back from the "sort of" sidetrack.  I think that video does show what I was trying to say.  We all have this image of the real us inside and we want the world to see it.  FFS is one of the biggest tools to do that.

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 25, 2012, 04:07:21 PM
Like in the bar, I thought the girl was all "look, you look great, stop worrying," and she's all making the "yer crazy" face. And then with the bloke, she's saying "no I'm not ready yet" 'cause she's still so screwed up about her body. She even does that hesitation thing that I used to do when I dragged myself away from mirrors.

And she's kinda tomboyish and she has a really cool tattoo and her style is a lot like mine...

I am so disillusioned right now.

I feel like my self-image is soooo screwed up.  I even had a style done just like one they gave the actress, and I got a haircut a lot like that and I was so worried that I would look ugly and masculine to myself.  It was such a mind->-bleeped-<-.

I do really like the tattoo, though.  For a second I thought it was a rat-tail. >_>

The video's really poignant from both points of view, I think.  Dread due to past pain or frustration from having an image locked away inside you.

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 25, 2012, 04:07:21 PM
She even does that hesitation thing that I used to do when I dragged myself away from mirrors.

  I do that....LOL! 

  Yeah I cannot wait untill I have my FFS done, i'm sooo jealous of you girls!   

Quote from: Wonderdyke on January 25, 2012, 04:49:00 PM
I feel like my self-image is soooo screwed up.  I even had a style done just like one they gave the actress, and I got a haircut a lot like that and I was so worried that I would look ugly and masculine to myself.  It was such a mind->-bleeped-<-.

The last time I complained about my shoulders to my mum, she was so irritated she actually got out a tape measure. Turns out I have exactly the same width as her and she's 5'4" and I'm 6'. And some part of me still doesn't buy it. So ya, I feel you on the self-image issue. It makes sense that a lot of trans* folk would be screwed up like that.

I wonder with the switch at the end of the video if it was intended to be read both ways. Or if it's just a happy accident. I do like it either way.

Quote from: Jeneva on January 25, 2012, 04:35:21 PMBut it was a GG getting away with it so why can't you?  It looked great on her.  Actually it looked more than great, but I'm happily married and not going to become a cougar.

Ya... but it was more about thinking another trans girl was intentionally looking like that. I guess it shouldn't matter, but there is something nice about seeing other people who are kinda like you... Feels less lonely somehow.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. I was mostly just laughing at myself. Need to get back to important things like pestering JenJen for a picture update!

Quote from: Sarah7 on January 25, 2012, 05:44:27 PM
The last time I complained about my shoulders to my mum, she was so irritated she actually got out a tape measure. Turns out I have exactly the same width as her and she's 5'4" and I'm 6'. And some part of me still doesn't buy it. So ya, I feel you on the self-image issue. It makes sense that a lot of trans* folk would be screwed up like that.

I wonder with the switch at the end of the video if it was intended to be read both ways. Or if it's just a happy accident. I do like it either way.

Oh, definitely.  I've measured my shoulders, and I'm pretty sure I'm doing it right, and I get 16.5 inches, which isn't anywhere out of the ordinary, but then I look at them and they feel huge.  I already know that I have the same freaking body metrics as my mom, save for being an inch taller, because we've stood next to each other and we're practically identical.  But I just can't see it.

I'm definitely really satisfied by which side of the coin I'm identifying with, though.  That's something, I guess.