Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on January 22, 2012, 06:27:28 AM


If I go out and do my thing, I 'seem' to pass --- maybe just by the grace and tolerance of others, but I guess that just will have to do then, won't it.

I hear ya. I depend upon the grace and tolerance of others. I gotta be me, no matter the pass factor.

I realize this is late in the game for this thread, but I have to ask what is passing?

I'm out at work; it's common knowledge that while I'm Connie now, I used to be David. No one bats an eye when I use the restroom and they know I'm pre-op. Does this count as passing?

Does it count as passing at all when people who knew me as David and now know me as Connie treat me according to my feminine presentation? Or, does this not count as passing as they know what I "really" am?

Passing refers to being seen by the general public as female based on your appearance, voice, etc.

Quote from: Keaira on January 22, 2012, 09:52:11 PM
Passing refers to being seen by the general public as female based on your appearance, voice, etc.

Understood. Thanks.

I know I'm new but I've noticed this as well.. I looked through the "Do I pass thread" and it seemed more like a self esteem builder thread than an honest one.  I'd expect honesty I can look in the mirror be and mostly objective but when people post and haven't even started mones and have a 5 of clock shadow and everyones telling them they pass you're only setting them up for embarassment.

Comments like "I'll never tell anyone they don't pass" and "were all women" are unhelpful and although admirable traits have no place in a thread titled " Do I Pass?".  Maybe make a new thread for " Tell me im pretty " or some other nonsense but I'd appreciate the honesty and I wouldn't lie to other people so I'd hope they do the same for me.

Quote from: EmmaM on January 22, 2012, 02:08:21 PM
I hear ya. I depend upon the grace and tolerance of others. I gotta be me, no matter the pass factor.

Honey you look sexy/hot with some 'chiselled' looks, nice!- I'm a Lesbian, I can TELL :-)

Axélle

As I said before, if you want the truth, you have to go out into the world to get it.

For all the posts suggesting I change my appearance this way and that so that I pass, it didn't matter too much! I'm passing. Not more than 3 hours ago I was at the supermarket checkout and the guy bagging our groceries asked me and my wife, "Do you Ladies need any help?"
I don't claim to be the prettiest girl to have graced God's green earth, but I'm pretty darned happy that I'm being seen for who I really am. And I didn't need a beanie/toque to help me.

Quote from: Keaira on January 22, 2012, 11:16:10 PM
As I said before, if you want the truth, you have to go out into the world to get it.

SOOO True.

Go to a food court in the mall on a Saturday afternoon. Youll get all the truth you'll ever need

Quote from: Annah on January 22, 2012, 11:53:18 PM
SOOO True.

Go to a food court in the mall on a Saturday afternoon. Youll get all the truth you'll ever need

This is also true.
Just be prepared to be judged by the general population.

Quote from: Keaira on January 23, 2012, 12:13:15 AM
This is also true.
Just be prepared to be judged by the general population.

The judgement I get from the general populace is often kinder than I get around here and other forums..

Quote from: kelly_aus on January 23, 2012, 12:46:16 AM
The judgement I get from the general populace is often kinder than I get around here and other forums..

I can believe that. But there again, it comes down to being able to actually see you, your mannerisms, etc. versus a single photo, and that's all. Some people dont photograph well. I think I look so much better in the mirror and less than that in a photo.

Quote from: kelly_aus on January 23, 2012, 12:46:16 AM
The judgement I get from the general populace is often kinder than I get around here and other forums..

In my opinion, yes and no. The general populace is just as bad as some of the comments here.

I so wish I was brave enough to post a pic in that thread, not a single person here could claim honestly that I pass.

Sorry in an odd mood right now, trying my best to find humor to keep from crying really, been a rough weekend. The comment about the 5 o'clock shadow passing and the thought of someone saying I passed as an ego boost was just hilarious. I have a full goatee. Pretty thick.

Quote from: Keaira on January 23, 2012, 01:01:54 AM
[clipped]
Some people dont photograph well. I think I look so much better in the mirror and less than that in a photo.

Gosh, you tell ME honey!
I think in photographs I always look as stone old and as butch as it can get, ever!
In the mirror I do fairly OK.
In certain lighting I look more mummified then I'd be still allowed to LIVE! Quite unbelievable the difference. Is it digital photography?!?

No idea what to do - other then save up for a facelift, FFS, etc.

Axélle

Quote from: Axélle-Michélle on January 23, 2012, 04:00:04 AM
Gosh, you tell ME honey!
I think in photographs I always look as stone old and as butch as it can get, ever!
In the mirror I do fairly OK.
In certain lighting I look more mummified then I'd be still allowed to LIVE! Quite unbelievable the difference. Is it digital photography?!?

No idea what to do - other then save up for a facelift, FFS, etc.

Axélle

Honestly it can be a number of factors. As a computer modeler I've learned that lighting is key. So it is in the real world. another thing can be lens distortion. I've noticed that my iPod camera makes me look a little slimmer. Another factor could be that  we don't see these photos in 3 dimension like we would if we were looking at one another. But one important thing to remember is our brains tell us to like our appearance. Its somewhat passive. Like how you suddenly notice a wrinkle that has in fact been there a while. Or, to use myself as an example, I started liking my hair again when for the longest time its been my biggest issue. I discovered I have hair regrowth which caused my hairline to look more appealing to me when that new hair was about half an inch long.

IPod camera's don't compensate for the yellow light that compact florescent bulbs can give off. which is why some photos of me look really yellow.

Thanks for the insights hon,
I'm sure others will appreciate it also.

Hug,
Axélle

You're welcome ^_^

Quote from: kelly_aus on January 23, 2012, 12:46:16 AM
The judgement I get from the general populace is often kinder than I get around here and other forums..

Ditto on that Sister. I've been called a man on this forum many more times in 6 months than I have in RL in the last 5 years.

Quote from: JenJen2011 on December 16, 2011, 03:17:02 PM
Recently I've been reading posts from several girls telling other girls they "totally pass", "definitely pass", "you look all woman", etc and then I look at the pics they're referring to and perhaps something is wrong with my eyes but I just don't see it.

I don't want ya'll to take this the wrong way. I'm not trying to be mean or make any of the girls feel bad, I just don't think it's right that we lie to them. I wonder if these girls are saying it just to be nice? Or maybe my transdar is too strong and I know what to look for? Like some people tell me I pass but I don't see it.

Now, some of these girls are totally pretty but pretty=/=passable. So, maybe they're mixing the two?

I don't know. Maybe someone can enlighten me a bit.

A lot of people try and be politically correct rather than downright honest. They are also worried they might upset someone or undermine their confidence which may be fragile anyway. My close TS friend has always been pretty ruthless with me and used to continually criticise and rip me to pieces about the way I looked and would be totally honest if I didn't pass. Sometimes the put downs would hurt really bad but it did help me to improve and be more aware of myself.

From your profile avatar picture Jen, you look a million times better than I could ever look, so your problems are far less than mine!

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on January 24, 2012, 09:32:19 AMFrom your profile avatar picture Jen, you look a million times better than I could ever look, so your problems are far less than mine!

I don't know if you're referring to the one up now but if you are, that isn't me. That's Britney Spears, lol. The one i had before was of me so if you're referring to that one, thank you. I recently had full FFS tho so I look different now.