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How to look more neutral gendered

Started by Bridal Wish, January 25, 2012, 07:01:49 PM

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Bridal Wish

I dont know if being Androgyne is something you are born as (either you are or you aren't?) so im curious, as a male (who looks like a average guy... not to female but more male.) how would i sort of de-male myself and look more like a average human? (human for lack of better term... human= not male looking more female looking but not quite female only looking)
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Bridal Wish

I feel like an idiot... reading on the page i have a better understanding of a Androgyne now... but my questions is simply how to look more feminine? since i feel more feminine than a male should, and i want to look a bit more feminine... how would i do that?
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Bridal Wish

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Bridal Wish

O.o.... well i must start learning... is it all experience based? or are their books to help..  and if you have a name of a book what book?
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kyle_lawrence

There is no book or any right way to be androgyne. No one can teach you how to be yourself. Expiriment wiyh different hair or makeup or clothes or accessories and go with what feels right.

I have A friend who primarily presents as male, but usually is wearing women's longerie under his clothes. No one can really tell, but it makes him feel feminine enough to be happy. (I present male but haven't changed from My female name or pronouns, so we have gotten into some very interesting situations in public before.)
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ativan

I wear woman's knee high boots with 2 1/2" heel, kinda cowboy boot style.
About a third of my jeans come from the woman's dept.
Same with some shirts that are neutral, but have a better cut to them.
I wear two different pairs of woman's tennis shoes.
I have a coat that is very military looking except for the cut is more like a woman's coat.
At first you feel a little like you're sticking out, but really...nobody cares or notices.
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Pica Pica

Quote from: Ativan on January 29, 2012, 05:33:58 PM
I wear woman's knee high boots with 2 1/2" heel, kinda cowboy boot style.
About a third of my jeans come from the woman's dept.
Same with some shirts that are neutral, but have a better cut to them.
I wear two different pairs of woman's tennis shoes.
I have a coat that is very military looking except for the cut is more like a woman's coat.
At first you feel a little like you're sticking out, but really...nobody cares or notices.

I'm pretty similar.
'For the circle may be squared with rising and swelling.' Kit Smart
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Kinkly

there are many ways to look non - binary gendered either remove obvious gender markers or add markers of the opposite sex.
some people remove all gender markers or they add markers of the opposite of their birth assigned gender this question is probably better sutited to the androgynous apearence sub forum.
to say what I do as a M2A    I ballance the one male charastic I like (my beard) with my padded bra and clearly fem clothes I'd rather be seen as a bearded lady then as a man in a dress but both are better then "Normal" Male 
I don't want to be a man there from Mars
I'd Like to be a woman Venus looks beautiful
I'm enjoying living on Pluto, but it is a bit lonely
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ativan

Quote from: Ativan on January 29, 2012, 05:33:58 PM
I wear woman's knee high boots with 2 1/2" heel, kinda cowboy boot style.
At first you feel a little like you're sticking out, but really...nobody cares or notices.
Just bought a new pair of lace up boots, knee high, zippered to fit into them, 2 1/2 heels. 75% off! winter lined, for 60US$.
I put up a pic at 'ativan prescribed' on Face Book just now.
You can find neutral looking clothes and such.
Sales help at Dept Store here in St Cloud MN were very helpful. GLBT friendly city.
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Virginia

We actually have a brand new forum about "Androgynous Expression, Appearance and Style": at:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,385.0.html
~VA (pronounced Vee- Aye, the abbreviation for the State of Virginia where I live)
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smooth

I suppose it depends on how serious you are about achieving an androgynous look? Clothing is one thing but if you're serious about it and starting as a guy I'd say grow your hair and have it cut in a gender neutral style, remove your facial hair and pluck your eyebrows. I wouldn't recommend plucking them really thin, just get some shape into them and remove the stragglers. There's plenty of info on plucking and shaping and different rules apply to guys and girls, with this in mind somewhere in the middle of the two should work just fine. If you go too thin it's easily noticed which is fine if you're comfortable with questions. Outside of that just relax and be yourself, you might find things happen on their own.
see you on the beach....
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eli77

Pre-transition, I tended to wear Asian-style embroidered jeans, fairly tight-fit V-neck t-shirts, a slim-fit jacket, and plain converse shoes. I wore a silver ring on my right hand, a unisex necklace, my hair to my jawline and curled around my ears, and I was clean-shaven (and I never had enough for a visible shadow). The result was I was seen as an androgynous girl about 15% of the time, and a femme-y gay boy the rest.

But it all depends on what you start with. I was slight, physically androgynous and with a voice that could rarely pass as male. If I'd styled my hair and plucked my eyebrows, I would have passed as a girl most of the time. If I'd switched to female clothing and used face paint...

It's much harder to do that kind of stuff if you have distinctly masculine facial and body features. The closer you are to the "baseline" pre-puberty model, the easier it is to slide back and forth in peoples' perceptions.

But I would get a gender-neutral hairstyle and pluck your eyebrows the way Smooth recommends, find the least genderable clothing you can for your body-type (tighter is better if you are slim), alter your body-type if you feel comfortable doing that and aren't already in the low fat/low muscle category, and start working on moving your voice into the andro-range 140-170 Hz, removing chest resonance, and changing your intonation. Then see where you are.

I'd also note that andro presentations draw attention. No people won't generally care, but they will LOOK - particularly if you are conventionally attractive. And for someone who previously presented as an ordinary guy, you will notice a difference.
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ativan

Quote from: Virginia on February 02, 2012, 06:49:00 AM
We actually have a brand new forum about "Androgynous Expression, Appearance and Style": at:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,385.0.html
True. This thread is questionable, as it is turning into an Androgynous type.
The title though, 'How to look more neutral gendered'?

Opinions people.

Does this fall into the Androgynous Expression Appearance and Style?
Is neutral a part of a fashion statement, or is it part of the psychology of Non-Binary?

Damned if I know (or don't know),
Ativan
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Bridal Wish

Quote from: Ativan on February 02, 2012, 12:42:30 PM
True. This thread is questionable, as it is turning into an Androgynous type.
The title though, 'How to look more neutral gendered'?

Opinions people.

Does this fall into the Androgynous Expression Appearance and Style?
Is neutral a part of a fashion statement, or is it part of the psychology of Non-Binary?

Damned if I know (or don't know),
Ativan
it does... but when i was trying to post there it said something like "This (thread area) hasent been used in (long time) Do you wish to  continue?" So i posted here.... much more help :D

and as a statement... this is something im looking into, Androgynous isnt a style (although im making it out to be one) Mainly, its because i dont look Androgynous as a start... if that makes any sense... ill be happy...
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Alex11003131

as a smaller male born person, I wear skinny jeans, usually black, a slightly baggier hoodie (kinda masks my body shape abit) and thats usually black as well (I'm kinda emo :p )

but the total effect is just, I dunno I dont look male at first, its only on a second glance or getting a good look at my chest if i'm not wearing a hoodie will confirm i'm male-born

I dont really have too many cloths that help me look andro, so i usually just wear the black skinnies and my batman hoodie, works for me and I always feel good wearing it :) 
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Kinkly

Quote from: Ativan on February 02, 2012, 12:42:30 PM
True. This thread is questionable, as it is turning into an Androgynous type.
The title though, 'How to look more neutral gendered'?

Opinions people.

Does this fall into the Androgynous Expression Appearance and Style?
Is neutral a part of a fashion statement, or is it part of the psychology of Non-Binary?

Damned if I know (or don't know),
Ativan

for some people looking how they feel inside is important  [hence the importance some (binary) trans people put on passing] for me being seen as "Normal guy" or "Normal Girl" would feel devastating, being seen as who we are is part of the Psychology for some of us, others just like the style and others still have no cares/desire about looking the part for some of us the desire is so strong to change that hormones and or surgeries are considered there is no catch all answer to this question.  We are not all the same in so many different ways.
I don't want to be a man there from Mars
I'd Like to be a woman Venus looks beautiful
I'm enjoying living on Pluto, but it is a bit lonely
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patstar

Hmmm, when I have to go out in guy mode--as to have this not be a complete lie--I prefer an androgynous look which is as neutral gendered as possible while also subtle enough to protect me from ridicule or worse.  The result is to leave those who really notice somewhat confused about my nature, which for my purposes, is a good state to have them in.

Here's a list of things you could try:

1. Absolutely no facial hair, even sideburns.
2. Longer hair.
3. Little or no body hair.
4. Small or medium size male hoop earrings. Hoops are considerably "feminizing" than any kind of stud earring and is a good midway point from anything truly "danglely".
5. Wear three, four, or more bracelets.  A thumb ring frequently means gay, but not always.
6. Most guys these days are about blacks, greys, and little else.  Try wearing some light shades and colors like purple and burgundy.
7. It won't work for everybody, but consider an artificial mole around the mouth or cheek.
8. Heels (such as cowboy boots) and/or flip flops.
9. Perhaps it's just me, but I find the usual accepted male attire these days pretty narrow territory.  You just have get outside of that ... in the right way. 
Well wishes to all. Patrice
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confused_one

I had never thought of the hooped earings, patstar.   I'ma have to get me some silver hoops tomorrow :)
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