I've been a bit over a year on HRT now and have noticed guys giving me all sorts of attention that I never used to get.  The whole pub/bar thing was never my thing when I was living as a guy, but now I kind of enjoy going out and listening to a band etc...

One of the biggest problems I'm facing is how to deal with the various social interactions that go with being female.

I've had drunk guys try to follow me and get my number, sober guys offer to buy me drinks, random weird older guys come up to me in the supermarket and just start talking to me etc....

How do I get the guy(s) to just leave me alone without seeming rude or stuck up?  I've tried saying that I've got a girlfriend or being really shy, but both of these seem to make matters worse.

Quote from: atheuona on January 28, 2012, 06:45:55 PM
I've been a bit over a year on HRT now and have noticed guys giving me all sorts of attention that I never used to get.  The whole pub/bar thing was never my thing when I was living as a guy, but now I kind of enjoy going out and listening to a band etc...

One of the biggest problems I'm facing is how to deal with the various social interactions that go with being female.

I've had drunk guys try to follow me and get my number, sober guys offer to buy me drinks, random weird older guys come up to me in the supermarket and just start talking to me etc....

How do I get the guy(s) to just leave me alone without seeming rude or stuck up?  I've tried saying that I've got a girlfriend or being really shy, but both of these seem to make matters worse.

dress ugly?..

If you're not into men, just say you're not interested because you're a lesbian. I like men so I don't mind being hit on but since I'm in a relationship I usually tell them that or ignore if they are being overly flirty or obnoxious.

You could go with male friends to the pub, it would help. Sometimes, having other females around you lowers the attention you get too. There are also gay bars

Just be flattered but let them know you aren't interested.  You'll get better at it in time.  It can be sorta fun making up excuses when you get good at it.  I once told some guy at a gas station that I would love to accept a date but my boyfriend would flip out... then I had my friend drive me to the gas station and act all mad at the guy.   We laughed for a while =)

I get hit on a bit while I am at work, some have been persistant, not sure if they know I'm trans or not, although I'm sure a couple do. I simply tell them that I don't date and don't need the complication in my life currently.  I'm not going to tell them I'm trans as its none of their business and since I'm not intending to date them, they have no need to know. 

But it is flattering at times, at least from the good looking ones, lol.  A few have just been downright creepy though. And then of course, there are those that are just messing around and aren't serious at all, those I don't mind at all.

I can't wait until guys start noticing me,  won't be wanting to date many of them so I just like the attention.
Eventually I would be looking to date a guy, and  I usually just act really shy, because I am when they start making comments on how I look I say things like "Oh gosh," or "Oh my."
Sometimes it can be some fun.

I posted this before but the last guy who hit on a couple of weeks ago came up to and asked 'If I buy you a drink can we have sex'

For born women that's life....... some scheming rascal with a stiffy is always trying to screw you from like age 12 onwards   

I haven't transitioned yet but I do have a similar problem. Guys are paying me attention until they get a good look at me.. and it's effecting how I react to gay / bi guys that could potentially be good for at least a short term relationship.

For example, tonight I went out and while walking around, i've had numerous guys wink at me, call me sweetie, etc, then get close enough to me to make out that I'm male, then they turn around and run off or will look at me funny. I'm kind of worried that soon, some crazy guy will snap on me and try to hurt me!

A friend of mine said that a guy looked at me rather ugly to the point where she was offended. I have a feeling he is a great example. Thing is, I'm not even dressing female, wearing makeup, nothing!! Then later in the night, we were in a dark club. A guy came up to us and sat right next to me, looked at me, and I thought I made his face out to be that of disappointment. So I kinda assumed "crap, this guy likes girls and he clocked me, even though I'm not presenting female" .. turns out the guy is bi! I almost wrote him off and if it wasn't for him asking whether or not I was gay (apparently there's a giant tag over my head that says I am), I would've thought he'd never be interested in me because lately, all the guys realize I'm not a genetic female after first seeing me, then run away!!!

Hasn't happened yet, but unless it's by a woman, I'll be saying " No thanks, I'm a dyke,"  anyway. 

One thing though, be careful of guys offering drinks.  A good friend ended up getting a spiked drink that way.  She is still trying to get over the whole experience.

Karen.

Quote from: Cindy James on January 28, 2012, 11:44:41 PM
I posted this before but the last guy who hit on a couple of weeks ago came up to and asked 'If I buy you a drink can we have sex'

After listening to the world according to Keven Bloody Wilson, that doesn't surprise me, frankly. 

youtube.com/watch?v=DeWAdzFmI10

Re: How do you deal with being hit on?  I punch em back... or i run like crazy .. 

Depends on the guy. If he is cute, I'll get his number. If not, I just tell them my BF would be pissed. I usually just keep it short-n-sweet, especially if it is some old creepy dude. These guys are usually just looking for someone to talk to... especially if they know they don't have a snowball's chance down-under from the get.

Quote from: JennX on January 29, 2012, 08:43:09 AM
These guys are usually just looking for someone to talk to... especially if they know they don't have a snowball's chance down-under from the get.

I think you're right about that. I've had enough girls night out in my life to see that guys will just keep up small talk with women without even pulling the trigger. As the feminine gay guy, they usually only talk to me to not look rude, but they really want a female to just talk to.

QuoteI've had enough girls night out in my life to see that guys will just keep up small talk with women without even pulling the trigger. As the feminine gay guy, they usually only talk to me to not look rude, but they really want a female to just talk to.

Also, guys are extremely ego driven and unless they get some signal of interest a lot will not ask because they don't want to suffer the rejection

Now I feel bad for ignoring some of the guys that have hit on me.
They should really talk to me while I am out for dinner rather than walking on the street though.
That would help them get me to talk to them.