Alright, so this has been something that I've been meaning to ask for a while.

For those of us that don't yet pass, the ones that aren't out yet, or the ones who are in that strange androgynous - grey area, what do you say to a guy (A straight guy) who asks you out? Why do I specific straight and not just all men? Well, because to my experience, telling a bi or a gay guy that you're trans is much easier than explaining it to a straight guy who likely doesn't know much about that specific subculture and lifestyle.

Believe you me, when I've had to try and explain it to a straight guy, they always vehemently insist that I'm really just a butch girl or a tom-boy, even when they don't know me.

So how do you put it?

Whether it's;

"I'm getting a sex-change,"

or

"Sorry, I'm not gay,"

or something else, I want to hear it.

...I hate to sound like I'm not including the gay transmen here,
So, if you're gay, what do you say to a straight girl when you do pass as a man?

Tell him he's not your type. Tell him you like guys with (insert feature he doesn't have). Tell him you like women and not men. Laugh in his face when he asks you out. Pretend you didn't hear him ask you out.
Every time you see him don't talk, just look at him and make this face until he walks away.


Tell him something gross or creepy that you would "want to do with him" like telling him he has a nice nose and that you would like to harvest it as part of your nose farm...or that you were staring at him while he was in the bathroom.

Or you could say, "No thanks."

Or, "I don't think you see me for what I am. Also, and more importantly, I don't like you like that. Ew. No thanks."

Or, if you're the homophobic type of guy, "Stop being such a frickin' homo, man."

hahahahaha NYGEEL! JUST MAKE THE FACE!

Tell him that you only go out with Spoons. Then take a spoon out of your pocket and begin to rub it on your face. Works every time.

If you don't feel like making a fool out of yourself, I would suggest telling him that you're not gay. Kills two birds with one stone, really, because then you don't have to explain your identity, sexuality and disinterest for him all separately.

usunally I just used to say "im a guy" if people didnt thought so at first and they would be like "wow but you look so girly"
and I would say "yeah I know, hit puberty late (cause of T)"
there interest will usunally stop there..

the fear of being gay often help on straight guys, if a "not interesteed" isnt good enough.
in case it dosent work I say something like "I dont do straight guys" or "only if your the bottom"

I usually just say I'm seeing someone if they're someone I don't know, and that seems to work fine.  The "Sorry, I'm not gay" seems like a good solution too.

Well, I pass 100% of the time, so I've never had a guy hit on me. I have had a few girls hit on me and I'm undecided on my sexuality, but I'm positive that I'm gay. Anywhos, when a girl has hit on me. I usually just walk away, because it's just too awkward for me, I say I'm gay, or I'm not interested in a relationship, or I ignore them.

However for someone that wasn't out you could simply say you were gay. If your out but don't pass I guess you could say "Your ugly go away". I think it would be harder if you were out but didn't pass, because you want people to see you as male and such. This is a tricky topic.

I ended up laughing at the last guy that asked me out. Poor little fella. That was my reaction for years, because it always happened at the oddest times. Now I hold my left hand up and wiggle my wedding ring with my thumb at them.

If you don't pass, the 'sorry, I'm not gay' doesn't always work, just confuses people. I go with 'I have a girlfriend' or 'I like girls...exclusively'

I'd go with the nose farm and the spoon suggestions, myself Maybe The Face if things got desperate. OR ALL THREE!!! Make The Face during the entire conversation, tell him that you looooove his nose, and then brandish a spoon from your pocket and start advancing menacingly. If that doesn't work I don't know what will.

I tend to tell them I'm more into whatever gender they don't appear to be. Or I scare them by telling them what I do for a living. XD

I tend to go for the "Haha nah man" route and laugh it off. Laughing makes things less awkward, right? D:

Maybe tell them that as you are trans and identify as a male.  So any relationship with you would make you both gay, and neither of you would want that, especially if other people found out.  Put it back on them.

Karen.

I had a highschool girl ask me out the other day. That was awkward, especially considering I saw her talking to my partner at the college fair on campus. If was a compliment though, since she thought I was just a girly guy. Not quite the stubborn straight guy, but I ended up chuckling and told her I was off the market. As I was walking away one of her friends told her 'told ya he was gay'. Probably made my day more than it should have.

Have many of you had to turn down stubborn gay guys?

still waiting to be asked out my anyone girl or boy (whislt presenting as a guy...not that it happend more than once before anyway). Wish I could participate in this thread to be honest, would stop me feeling so unwanted! :p

Quote from: dalebert on February 03, 2012, 06:11:36 PM
Have many of you had to turn down stubborn gay guys?

gay guys turn me down when they find out I'm trans.

Quote from: dalebert on February 03, 2012, 06:11:36 PM
Have many of you had to turn down stubborn gay guys?

There was one bi guy who insisted that I have a threesome with him and a friend of mine when he found out I was trans. I think he just wanted a threesome and I happened to be there though. I blame the booze for that one. It was a night of a lot of shots.

Quote from: Ayden on February 03, 2012, 07:38:09 PM
There was one bi guy who insisted that I have a threesome with him and a friend of mine when he found out I was trans. I think he just wanted a threesome and I happened to be there though. I blame the booze for that one. It was a night of a lot of shots.

Sometimes booze brings out stuff the person already thinks but won't say out loud. You might fit into one of his most secret fantasies. Or lolyeah, he might just have wanted a threesome.

I do alright with bi guys. And both straight and lesbian girls. I don't think I've ever known any openly bi girls.

It's a thought for another topic (and one that has been raised in the past), but I love it when my being trans adds excitement or richness to a person's sex life. The flip side of that is having interested people back out when they find out my genital status, and I'd rather have neither and just be normal, but if I'm going to be rejected over weird details it helps to also be desired for those same weird details.