Why I let my son dress like a girl for five years...and why for his sake I put a stop to it

By Lorraine Candy
Last updated at 1:42 AM on 27th January 2012

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2092412/Why-I-let-son-dress-like-girl-years--sake-I-stop-it.html

You may assume, from all this, that I'd be in favour of what has been termed 'gender neutral parenting' — raising a child as neither boy nor girl, but giving it free rein to express itself in whatever way he or she chooses.

That was the approach taken by Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper. They're the couple who made headlines last week for raising their five-year-old son, Sasha, as 'gender neutral'. Like me, they allowed their little boy to dress in girls' clothes and play with girls' toys.

But unlike me, it seems Sasha's parents' 'experiment' formed part of their wider ideology, using it to examine whether 'boy/girl' stereotyping could be bypassed altogether.

I know, from my own experience, that some children do not conform to the conventional behaviour expected of their gender anyway. But I know also that there came a time when I had to put a stop to my boy's 'girlish' instincts. I knew it was my duty as a parent to make it stop — for reasons I will come to later.

QuoteI would happily ban all those wretched pink-frilled dolls that fill the shelves of supermarkets across the land, mini ironing boards and kitchen utensils (who wants to be a indoctrinated into domestic drudgery that early, boy or girl?).

There are a number of issues raised by this article, which is quite good by Daily Mail standards.

But this is one which I think needs to be examined.

This point is frequently raised, not the pink, but the representations of feminine behaviour in children.

This is always the nub issue really. Little girls can be allowed to play with boy's toys but not the other way around.

For little girls, it seems, femininity, domesticity and all that goes with it are her destiny. For boys, that isn't the case, so boys that seem interested are admitting defeat before they even start.

And  that's the real issue here. That being female is seen as less, by women as well as men. But mostly by women.

As long as women continue to see themselves as inferior, less, subject, they will be. And all the feminist self rightious ranting can't change that.

Quote from: spacial on January 29, 2012, 11:29:02 AM
There are a number of issues raised by this article, which is quite good by Daily Mail standards.

But this is one which I think needs to be examined.

This point is frequently raised, not the pink, but the representations of feminine behaviour in children.

This is always the nub issue really. Little girls can be allowed to play with boy's toys but not the other way around.

For little girls, it seems, femininity, domesticity and all that goes with it are her destiny. For boys, that isn't the case, so boys that seem interested are admitting defeat before they even start.

And  that's the real issue here. That being female is seen as less, by women as well as men. But mostly by women.

As long as women continue to see themselves as inferior, less, subject, they will be. And all the feminist self rightious ranting can't change that.

I must just slightly disagree with the last sentence by saying that it is not women that sees women as inferior, but feminists, and "Feminist" does not egual "Woman".
That is also the very reason why there is a rapidly growing number of anti-feministic women in the West World, as they do neither appreciate being seen as Victims nor being told what and how they should think and feel just because of their Sex.

I can see your point Bishounen, Thank you for responding.

I think I'm really trying to appeal to women as a whole to see themselves as equally legitimate and of equal value. I don't believe that many women do.

The tolerance we have for young girls expressing what is associated with masculine behaviour is fine. But when this is tolerated in young boys it is frequently labeled neglectful, even abusive.

A case in point, which has been highlighted on these pages, previously. That of the young child in England whose parents refused to tell people its gender until it was 5 years old.

It has now been revealed that the child is a boy. Suddenly, the talk is of a poor young boy, being fiorced into effiminacy, by trendy parents.

http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/01/couple_reveals_childs_gender_f.html
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4075523/Its-a-boy-Couple-reveal-sex-of-their-gender-neutral-kid-after-five-years.html
http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Hes-pretty-in-pink-to-make-you-think-20012012.htm
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2090169/Sasha-Laxton-Gender-neutral-childs-reaction-mothers-questions-sex.html

Now, Like many transgender people, what I feel about those that harm children can't be printed. But if we were talking about a little girl who was being allowed to wear boys clothes, then there would be no issue. No news.

I will argue that there is an assumption that for girls it doesn't really matter. But boys have to be forced into a mold of manliness almost from birth.  I will further argue that the awareness of their self worth that has been thankfully encouraged and nurtured in so many women, especially over the last 100 or so years, has failed to notice this most important aspect of what it means to be a woman.

If we are to assume that only women need to express their sexuality through experiment, then we have to accept that there is justification for discrimination in other aspects.

I am not, of course, suggesting that young boys should be compelled to express feminity any more than young girls should. I'm pointing out that the hysterical reactions to this and similar cases, demonstrated that for all their bluster, the self worth of women is little more than a right to act the clown.

That isn't equality, that's just a sick joke.