First some back story:

After finding I was unable to afford my chest surgery later this month, I had to have it put back to late August, which for me is just so very far away. I'm down about it, though not so much that I'll start crying or anything; at least it's still on the table.

And the biggest thing of all (there's a recent thread explaining in more depth), my relationship with my best friend has just suffered a complete collapse; we're not really speaking right now, and unless work throws us together we're avoiding all contact. This was the guy I've been in love with for months, so my emotional stability has completely crumbled.

Now my problem:

I feel weird. I have no explanation. Two days ago when everything fell apart I felt like I'd like the world to swallow me whole; I went right back to that dark place I used to inhabit a few years ago (I'm sure most of you are familiar with the one I'm talking about), but now I don't really feel any of that. I'm still thinking about it constantly, but I don't really feel any particular way about it.

Today I was painting miniatures though and I was forced to stop because my hands were shaking so badly. I can't control them, and they're still doing it now. I actually think my whole body might be shaking, though it's hard to be certain.

Also, I read something funny on this forum just a little while ago and started laughing, and in a split second my laughter turned into almost crying. What the hell?! I still wasn't feeling sad, in fact if anything I guess I should have been feeling a little happy, but suddenly I'm crying?

Do any of you guys know what could be going on? My hands are still shaking badly, and now that I'm aware of it it's pissing me off something chronic...

People internalize stress sometimes. Especially in highly emotional events your body can be under extreme stress because of the heavy emotion but you don't really realize it. I would try to do anything to "de-stress" and the shaking should go away.

Given your recent upset, I would be inclined to agree with insideontheoutside and deduce that it's stress-related.  But that being said, how are your T levels going?  Have you been eating properly?

Thanks you two. You're probably right, even though I don't feel particularly stressed at the moment, that might be it.

I'm on three-monthly injections, so my levels should be quite stable. I haven't been eating well lately though, so I'll make an effort to eat properly and see if that helps at all.

Sounds like you're just going through a lot. It can manifest in funny ways. Maybe you don't want to think about how much you miss him, or how you don't feel strong, or whatever else might cross your mind. Your brain and body don't forget, though.

Find something else and pretend it's him, or whatever he represented for you. Curl up in a ball and hug yourself. Go outside and run until your lungs burn. Or just pay attention and make allowances for some intensity here and there. You aren't abnormal.