I woke up in a crappy mood. My mother and grandmother are accepting of me. I should be so grateful of that. My mom wants to help me get on therapy and T and all of that. She acknowledged I  was a man the other day. But they keep using "she", female pet names, "girl", and other crap like that. Before, that stuff wouldn't have bothered me but now it is really getting under my skin. It's just not a good day. We went to play outside and I calmed down. All seemed to be going well but then my mood set in again because of how my fiancee worded something even though she didn't mean it a certain way. And the cherry on top is that I didn't go to class last week and now we have something due with our groups this week and I know someone else in our group didn't go so I will end up doing it and I thought it was due next week. I'm just stressed, depressed and angry at the world. It's like apart from how aggravated I am with school, I am angry that I have to prove to some doctor who doesn't know me that I want to be on T, I need to be on T, and act as if they know better than I do about myself.

I guess I just needed to vent. But everything seems terrible today.

I know how that is.  I am dying to start T, but my old therapist didn't want me to go on T because of hims morals and wanting to save his own butt from being responsible if something were to happen, and my doctor has to approval from the therapist's office for me to start T to make sure I am "stable" enough to start.
I've had plenty of bad days myself, where I either flipped out over a small reference to me being physically female or just had a crappy mood altogether.
Hang in there, those days always pass thankfully.

Yeah, I can feel myself slightly more calm after just writing it out and talking to a group member about what we gotta do.

I wish people understood how horrible transition can be. Like my mom says she understands but I know she cant REALLY get it. No one can unless they are trans. It's like your life becomes an obsession with getting on the god damn T.

Thanks for the kind words! Hopefully you never have to go to that stupid ass therapist again and your doctor helps you out!

My life is completely wrapped around being transgender and being within reach of T, it gets really old fast.
I don't know what I would do if I did not have access to the internet, I would never of known that I can change my body to fit me and that there are many many many people out there that feel the same as I do and have gone through the same situations.
Everything would be so much easier if people could understand what its like going through transition, but unfortunately no one will truly understand unless they have been through it.
You're most certainly welcome.  I'm currently waiting for my doctor to call me back saying they got the ok or not, he's a pretty cool guy so I'm hoping everything comes out smoothly so I can start in the next week or two.

That would be so awesome. To finally get put on T. I really hope your doctor says yes so you can finally start things. You are right. Things get old. FAST. It's like you wake up and all you think about until you fall asleep is about beginning your transition. I cannot wait until this is all behind each and every one of us and we can just live our lives the way it should have been in the first place.

Quote from: Nick on February 05, 2012, 12:16:38 PM
It's like you wake up and all you think about until you fall asleep is about beginning your transition.

i hear you

Quote from: Nick on February 05, 2012, 12:16:38 PM
That would be so awesome. To finally get put on T. I really hope your doctor says yes so you can finally start things. You are right. Things get old. FAST. It's like you wake up and all you think about until you fall asleep is about beginning your transition. I cannot wait until this is all behind each and every one of us and we can just live our lives the way it should have been in the first place.

I agree man.  I hope everything falls into place for you.  Before I go to sleep I am thinking about having T and it's the only thing on my mind even more than school. 

Look on the bright side: they accept and support you.  You just came out, it does take a while for even those who are supporting to get it right, especially family.


If I were you I would tell the teacher/prof/whoever that you did the work and your group partner didn't help.

Venting helps.  I think I will always have days like that until I am completely done with surgeries.  Being on T finally has helped, but those feelings still happen sometimes.

Quote from: Kreuzfidel on February 06, 2012, 03:21:14 AM
Venting helps.  I think I will always have days like that until I am completely done with surgeries.

That's how I feel at times exactly like until then every day is a bad day, some less bad than others lol.