Hi I'm Sara / Rob and new here so i thought i would talk a little about myself

I'm 30 Physically male, British and a geek also not usually much of a talker. I have been dressing on and off from about 13 years old but have never had the courage to take it further, partially because of weight partly because of funds. I am very lucky in that i have a 10 year old relationship with a lady who new i occasionally CD-ed before we were going out but have never dressed fully in front of her although she has said i can I'm worried, nor have i ever had the courage to go dressed out.

Sexually i am more than a little confused i am not homosexual and have no feelings of attraction towards males but I DO want to feel like a girl in bed including doing things that it takes a male or TS to do. i am very submissive but my SO is also rather submissive and that combined with the fact that she is uncomfortable with my female side in the bedroom has caused problems that are getting worse however i have no wish to risk our relationship outside of the bedroom.

Friends and family: My brother and sister both know i CD but my pearents are not really in the picture, i may see them occasionally but am not close to them i the slightest. My friends however are another matter. I have a good group of close friends that hang out and RP frequently. They have long joked about the fact that i mainly play females but i don't think will take my (can't find the word) well if they really knew, especially as someone we know has just started transition and the comments they have made are more than a little bigoted.

Sorry to have rambled a little but talking about this is difficult for me and i am not a very talkative person.

any advice or support would be appreciated.

Thanks Sara

Hi Sara.

Great to see you here.

There's a lot to learn, mostly about yourself. Many of us have found that, by interacting, exchanging views and attitudes, thinking about ourselves, we have gotten to know better, who we are.

This situations sort of reminds me of those Role Play conventions where folks take a vacation and go out and dress up as Sailor Moon or whatever. To be honest, in your situation, it seems like a healthy idea - a group of friends who take a good trip every now and then and dress as their preferred role for a bit, letting off the steam and having some fun. And then when you get back home, it's back to the male role and providing support and stuff for your female partner. Sounds like a typical couple, though with a straight couple, that vacation may be more along the lines of a group of guys hitting Vegas for a couple nights... .

Sometimes, when one has lived life up until middle age and is scared to change the norm, just breaking things up every now and then, like a vacation with some RP friends, or a few nights out on the town with that group, can make life seem worthwhile. Sometimes it's not always best digging into one's most secrety desires and seeing them all come true at a time where you're already older and transitioning fully may not be the best decision, especially with a family at stake. Taking things more conservatively can be a healthy option; there really is so much pressure to go through with something completely just because everyone else gets to, but that's not always the exact life everyone should have.

I have a very similar situation. When I started dressing in front of my wife she was a little put off by it but over time she has come to accept it as part of who I am. Mostly...she still has her moments and that may never go away completely. Also she is NOT into doing certain things in the bedroom even though I LOVE it. It does lead to fights unfortunately... I'm not sure what the solution to that is. I only found out I liked it because SHE wanted to try it. That was one of her fantasy's. I thought I would hate it and never try again. This is not the case. I try my best not to let it cause problem but the fact is that liking that is part of who I am no different than how I like to dress or how I view myself as a woman dispite how I was born. This is one of many things I would like to discuss wiith a therapist when I find one. Remember to stay positive.