Probably just needless worrying, but I have to share a room for a business trip with another guy whom I've never met.  I know nothing about him except his name.  I'm post-op top surgery so I'm not worried about my chest or something like that.  It's more the dynamics of the situation I'm unfamiliar with.

I've never had to share a room with another guy before.  This may or may not be the right crowd to ask, but any advice you can give me would be much appreciated.  I don't want to seem like a prude or too private.  Random stuff like sharing the tv, how much space is appropriate to take up (sharing drawers, closets).  Also, should I offer to car pool with him or split any expenses (gas, misc food not covered by reimbursement)?  I don't want to seem too friendly or too standoffish. 

Actually, when I think about it, this is the first time I've had to share a room with a non-friend or family member.  I'm sure things will work out and I'll be able to figure stuff out by his body language/cues, but this is for three days.  So..do's/don't?  Personal experiences?

Be polite and ask him about it.  Take up no more than half the drawers and closet space and stuff.  Doesn't matter if you're male or female-- taking more than your half of the space is rude.  If I were you, I'd just ask him right off if he wants to carpool or anything.  And then just take turns with the TV.  Offer it to him first (but say, "you can pick first" to imply you want your turn, too) and if he has any manners at all, he'll offer it back to you when he's had his turn and he'll let you give input into what you watch.  Just be polite.  Especially if it's a business trip, he's probably going to be a professional and try to have a polite, professional relationship.  It's not a frat party or anything.  If you have any concerns, bring them up.  After that, just be yourself and go with the mood of the room.  If he wants to talk, talk with him.  If he wants to watch TV, don't talk to him.  There'll be some awkward moments (I always have them when sharing a room with a stranger or really anyone, whether male or female), but just go with the flow and don't stress about it.  Stay breezy.

Thanks, Devin.  The thing is, I'm usually very polite irl.  So much in fact, that I've been made fun of for it.  I don't want to seem weird by keeping too much to myself or something.  I certainly won't take up more than half of anything.  Like I said, probably just needless worrying 

I love polite people!

Just be yourself, you don't have to feel pressured into being this guys BFF, but it's nice to reciprocate friendly conversation worst case you could complain of a headache and that'll let you out of lengthy chats


Hope your trip goes well

I've had this situation myself.  Not for business but at a convention.  It went basically fine, the only problem was the lack of beds.  There was a King and a Queen.   The other person drew the Queen and I ended up on the King with this guy.  Sharing a bed with a homophobe, who is pretending not to be, is pretty funny.  He built a wall of pillows as he huddled at the very far edge of the bed.  Far as he could go without falling off.  I have no idea how he slept that way.  He told me that if cuddle up to him in the middle of the night he would take it personally.  I told him that he really should.   

Any rate I haven't had top surgery yet but that really wasn't a problem.  I wore myself t-shirt all of the time and he wore his.  I mostly kept my clothes in my suitcase tucked away someplace inconspicuous.  The few things I did hang up on the rack didn't take up a huge amount of room.  Any travel expenses and meals together should be equally divided.   Sometimes they will offer to make a deal.  'If you pick up this cab fee, I'll buy you a drink later.'  Just be sure that you don't end up with the higher payout.       

So yes be friendly and don't stress out.  People really don't notice much of anything after they make up their minds at the first impression. 

I second what Devin has said. He took alot of the words out of my mouth.
I had a similar-ish experience. When I volunteered abroad, the first 2 and last 2 days of the 10week experience, all the volunteers had to stay in a hostel in the city. (The rest of the time we had a room in the homes of local families of a village). All the guys in one room, all the girls in two others. I had to share bunks, and this was when I was pre op. There were four of us, and I found out that I really worried much moer than necessary! The others kept there stuff in their areas (for the most part) and seemed friendly enough. I slept in a t shirt, but dont think they paid attention to this fact.
   Im sure you have nothing to worry about, you sound like a polite and respectful guy, so Im sure all will be fine.

Thanks for all of your input guys.  I really appreciate it.  Just got back earlier today.  It was...interesting.

We got along fairly well.  He was a very laid back guy.  So much in fact he didn't seem to mind leaving all the lights on, the tv on constantly, talking on his bluetooth until he fell asleep (very easy to tell when that happened--he snored extremely loudly), or flushing the toilet after using it.  Very interesting indeed 

He made some comments about my having a girlfriend or assuming my ex (only mentioned because it was relevant) was a female.  I didn't know what to say, just never used pronouns or names.  I wasn't comfortable with coming out as gay.  We talked briefly about politics and I found out he was a Democrat.  I've learned though that being a Democrat in the south doesn't always mean the same thing as being a liberal.  Staying "in the closet" has become pretty normal for me though.  Kind of sad but true.

At least now my anxiety has significantly decreased about having a rooming with someone I don't know.  I'm sure it'll get even easier over time.

Quote from: Adio on February 16, 2012, 09:32:43 PM
At least now my anxiety has significantly decreased about having a rooming with someone I don't know.  I'm sure it'll get even easier over time.

Most things do. You just discovered one of the secrets of the universe.

I'm glad it went well.

Awesome.  Glad you had a good time.

Now I'm leaving this morning for a 5 day conference in Baltimore and I'll be sharing a room with at least one female I don't know (I'm not sure how many they're putting in a room for the conference).  I have a feeling it's going to be just as awkward.  "Excuse me, ladies, while I shave my face and put on my binder."