I am a dedicated and loving partner to my wonderful boyfriend.  He is having top surgery at the end of the month.  We are very excited but I am trying to prepare as much as possible.  Any advice for FTM partners preparing for surgery?  What I should bring? Expect?  What he should expect?  Any advice is much appreciated!

Hi SEO.

I know there are a number of people here who can help with your questions. I'm sure they will be responding soon.

I don't really know why none those who have direct experience have responded. No doubt they have their minds on other things. This place can be a bit like that sometimes. Like anywhere where people get to know each other well, they can go through different collective moods.

I noticed you have checked back in, presumably looking for any replies.

If I may suggest, look in the Transsexual forums. Especially the FtM and MtF. If you post a message there, I hope someone will help you out.

Once again, good to see you and sorry about the lack of responses. It isn't usually like this. 

Hi SEO,
The one thing I wish I'd been more prepared for was a serious depressive period following surgery brought on by the anesthesia. It went away soon enough but I was not expecting it, so didn't get why I was miserable after one of the happiest days of my life. Hopefully, it won't affect your boyfriend this way, but be prepared to help him through it.

The other thing is not to panic as the wounds heal. It may look pretty bad before it gets better. And not to stress over small imperfections. No result is 100% perfect. If he's really unhappy, he can always get a revision later. So no need to stress during the healing process.

I wish I could remember what I brought with me and that. I do remember a lot of insomnia the night before the surgery. Pacing my hotel room and such.

I'm putting this in the FtM section to get more views. Hopefully, some guys who have had it more recently can help you with more.

My girlfriend came to my surgery actually,and I cant say how much I appreciated having her support! 

So, you just being there for him will mean alot.

As has been mentioned already, dont feel too anxious as the wounds heal. They will look pretty gruesome.
The day following my surgery when I was still in hospital (my girlfriend stayed in my hospital room overnight) one thing to help out with is assisting him getting in and out of bed as I assume the drains will still be in.
  Moving around the drains were quite a task. I leant on one once and it killed! It made things much easier for her to help me up when I needed to go to the toilet.

Also, you may want to bring things to entertain both yourself when hes in surgery, and the both of you when he is healing.

Good luck to you both!

My mom went with me in June for my top surgery.  She helped me move around (getting in/out of the car, in/out of bed, etc) and helped me put on shirts (button-up).  She also cooked, gave me my medication (antibiotic, pain pills) on a schedule, and assisted with my drains.  I needed her to make the bed comfortable when I couldn't the first couple days.  I didn't really entertainment or conversation, but I did need her close by.  She also washed my hair in the sink for me.

Stuff to bring...Anything his surgeon has suggested.  Not sure how far you have to travel, but just be aware that you will probably have to carry his stuff going home.  So pack in such a way that won't be too difficult for you.  Definitely bring something to occupy yourself with.  Familiarize yourself with the area you'll be going (if it's not local) so you know where to get food, meds, etc. 

Depending on how he heals or deals with surgery, he may be in a lot of pain or very little.  He may feel nauseous from the anesthesia (I certainly was).  He'll probably want to sleep a lot while recovering, so you'll probably need to wake him up to take meds on a fairly regular schedule.  I found that the antibiotics, which smelled like rotten eggs, went down easier with jello.  The pain meds may make him constipated; if the surgeon doesn't prescribe or recommend it, pick up some over the counter stool softeners like Colace.  Not everyone needs it, but some do. 

Just be there and be supportive.  Best of luck to the both of you

Thank you all for your responses.  To Make_It_Good, why did you have to stay over night in the hospital?  We were told its outpatient?  So you leaned on one of your drains and it was really painful?  That is good to know, how long did you have to keep the drains in?

We are traveling from NC to FL so I am a little worried about the trip back (nausea, pain, etc.?)

Good advice about bringing luggage that I can carry for the both of  us.  I had not even thought of that yet.  I have read somewhere that bringing extra bandages is a good idea, did any of you do this? Any idea where to buy these that may be better quality than a drug store?

Thanks again for your help, all suggestions appreciated!

Adio - Since your surgery was pretty recent how are you fairing eight months down the line?  How long did it take you to feel back to normal again?  Are there any specifications for things he should stay away from for a specific amount of time after surgery?  Lifting? Swimming?  Exercise? Sex? Cigarettes? 

Thanks so much for your help!

I had to stay in overnight as it was standard to, and I had the drains out the next day, although I have heard of people having drains in for longer than one night...
  Yep, I leant on the tubing of the drain and it tugged and hurt - alot. Complete accident that is very easily avoidable though.

As for the journey you will be making, Im sure he will be fine. This is me assuming you are travelling by car and he will get to relax as a passenger...

Yes, I would recommend buying large cotton pads for wounds, and tape. I had these over my scars, and for longer over my nipples and had to replace them every now and then. The hospital actually gave me some to take home, so I didnt have to buy any, but Id imagine a regular pharmacy would do them.

As for certain activities, definitely no heavy lifting for atleast a couple weeks. Or swimming.
My surgeon said I shouldnt go back to work (which involves lifting) for about 6 weeks. My work needed this in writing though to allow me the extra time off. My surgeon wrote in only 4weeks. So, the day the 4 weeks were up, I had to go back to work, and while I could tentatively manage it, (they had me on lighter loads) I wish Id stayed off longer as I feel it contributed to the widening of my scars.
   Stay clear of lifting, exercise etc for atleast 6 weeks,Id suggest, but after that, it is down to him to gather whether his body is ready or not.

Quote from: SEO on February 13, 2012, 02:05:09 PM
Adio - Since your surgery was pretty recent how are you fairing eight months down the line?  How long did it take you to feel back to normal again?  Are there any specifications for things he should stay away from for a specific amount of time after surgery?  Lifting? Swimming?  Exercise? Sex? Cigarettes? 

Thanks so much for your help!

I'm doing really well.  I can't remember exactly when I got full range of motion back, but it was probably around 2 months or so.  I started exercising after 6 weeks but regretted it.  My scars stretched a bit and that could have been (mostly) avoided by waiting another few weeks+. 

His surgeon should go over the specifics with you guys.  Lift no more than about 5 lbs the first couple weeks.  No lifting arms over head, no regular t-shirts.  Button-ups are the way to go.  Swimming can probably be resumed the same time regular exercise can, around 6 weeks (different surgeons have different instructions).  IIRC the scars shouldn't be in direct sunlight for about a year though. 

It probably depends on the type of sex and how strenuous it may be as to when that can resume.  I don't smoke, so I don't know for sure, but in Garramone's packet it says to avoid smoking or being around smoke for at least 2 weeks after surgery. 

Thank you so much guys, I really appreciate your input and being so candid with me.  We are very excited and I just want to make sure everything goes accordingly and any extra knowledge I can gain to make him feel better is a blessing.  Thank you again and if anything else pops up in your head that you think may help, feel free to write me!

Thank you!