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Unsure but excited

Started by confusedinheels, January 20, 2012, 01:16:05 PM

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confusedinheels

Hello everyone. Figured I would introduce myself here, I hope thats ok. I've enjoyed wearing feminine things off and on since I was very young, but not so much in the past few years, especially since getting married. Coming up on 5yrs of marriage, have the cutest 1yr old girl, and am generally happy and secure. Big surprise though.....the interest is still there.  ;D

I "came out" to the wife about a week ago. Told her it was something I was interested in, but her support and the family was more important. She took it well I guess.  :laugh: A little shocked, confused, and a little disturbed maybe, but we talked it over and I ordered some things. (VERY excited for my sexy/cute heels to show up!)

Dressing has always been attached to arousal for me, so not sure if this will turn into something more, but we will see! She's a little worried that she will lose her "manly man" but is keeping an open mind, and as long as we keep talking we will sort it out together. Not sure the direction it will go in, but excited for any possibilities. While I was obviously very nervous/scared to broach the subject, it almost seems that the openness has brought us a little closer together.

Now if the mail man would just hurry up and deliver my new outfits!  :laugh:
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Devlyn

Hi Confusedinheels, welcome to Susans! We're always happy to meet new friends here. Jump right in and have fun! See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn
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confusedinheels

Thank you for the welcome Devlyn! I've been lurking a bit.  ;D Lots of good reading and interesting topics. Not quite sure what I can offer to the group yet......but I'm here.  :)
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Lyric

Hi and welcome from me, too.

My best advice for you would be to keep an open mind about yourself, as odd as that sounds. There are plenty of people with lots of narrow opinions about people in your situation, but I suggest listen to inner self first and formost. There's no need to take any stereotype lifestyle off the rack. The best way to deal with this is to explore your own needs and desires, then customize your life and who you are to suit. That's certainly what's worked for me. I fit none of the standard "crossdresser", "transsexual" or other molds and I first put on a dress over 30 years ago.

Lyric
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." - Steve Jobs
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confusedinheels

Thank you Lyric. Sounds like words of wisdom to me! Im not concerned too much with anyone's opinion, so thats good. :) Like you said, I have noticed I don't really fall into any of the "standard" categories. Thats OK with me, I'll figure it out as I go. As long as I'm happy and life goes on, it all good!
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Eva Marie

The best thing that you've done is to be honest and open with your wife. Keep those lines of communication open, and if necessary pace yourself to allow her to keep up with you. Avoid talking about it all of the time; it's new and exciting to you and you are probably bursting at the seems to share your feelings, but your wife will quickly tire of hearing about it if you do that. And make sure that she knows that she is still the female in the relationship - very important.  If she ever feels like she's in competition with you for that title - you will have trouble  :o
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Louise

Dear Confused,

I am also a married crossdresser.  I love wearing heels (and anything else feminine).  My wife and I have been married over 40 years.  You should not be surprised that your urge to crossdress has not gone away.  From my own experience and that of many other crossdressers this is not something that ever goes away, but it does vary over time.  Suppressing it will not make it disappear, it will only make you frustrated.

What is most important is communication and honesty with your wife and with yourself.  I am sure that you two will go through some rough times as you explore and possibly push some limits that she is uncomfortable with.  Be sensitive to her feelings (that is a good feminine trait to have).  When you sense that she may be uncomfortable, talk things over honestly.  Life and relationships are not static, they grow over time.  With any luck the two of you can use this to enhance your relationship.  Best wishes.

Louise
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