Hi Julianne,
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
At the tender young age of 26, there is plenty of time to make girl friends. I'm a LOT older than that, and an making some absolutely wonderful, genuine, mature friendships with women of integrity. Sure, there are lots of things I missed out on, not growing up with the right nurturing, but I can't go back. What I can do, is take that knowledge forward and make the most out of my future with it.
Your thoughts of being married with children by thirty, sounds good. Two years for your HRT to kick in and have completed your GCS, then two years to find Mr. Right and form a lasting relationship. Not impossible. It's been done before. With the correct attitude, anything can be accomplished. So you miss the 30 YO deadline but make it at 32. No need to worry. You got the job done. Now you simply have the rest of your life to enjoy it. Lucky you.
Give yourself a bit of space. The HRT you've just started is going to be affecting your brain fairly soon. Dormant estrogen receptors in your brain are going to be brought to life pretty soon, and you need to be aware your thought patterns and outlook may rapidly change to a very feminine approach, which may propel you into your dreams of marriage etc, sooner than you think. Just be open to it, and don't dwell on the past. The past is exactly that. Past. Gone. Like a spent cheque. You can't use it again. Keep moving forward, and embrace your future. It's the only thing you have.
To answer your question. "Do I want to dress like a professional woman in blouses and skirts and try and act all mature like I know the ways of the world... or is it okay for me a teenage girl a little bit and totally shop at American Eagle or the juniors section? " If you want to grow into a professional woman and to be mature like you know the ways of the world. Dress and act like one, until you become one. On the other hand if you want to be a 30 year old teenage girl, dress and act like one. The choice is yours. In the long run, what would you be most happy, being?
Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine