This older man who I had been talking to online in a message chat has revealed to me that he was arrested as a pedophile. He got 7 years probation and has to do therapy.

I was shocked and completely grossed out when he told me.  His version of the story is that these little girls were masturbating in front of him to try to turn him on.

I could not believe this.  My first reaction was click delete good bye.   As he was talking I kept pointing out how wrong his interpretation of things were.  I feel very judgmental to just bail on his as a friend but I can't even stand the idea of talking to someone like this.

I didn't believe it at first and thought he was joking until he emailed me his probation report. 


No idea how to even function at this moment.  Anyone want to chime in?  I am definitely ending the friendship but should I try to show him the error of his ways?  Would doing that be teaching him how to cover it up?

So so strange.  One of the reasons that he was so chatty is that he can't use normal chat rooms or websites and found one by mistake.  Also he's the member of another site that I go to.  Should I report it to them?

"IF", if he really is on probation and showed you the report, then you know who to report him to.  His Probation Officer, or the Court that handles his case.

He's not doing anything wrong though?  He's just posting online.   So there's no reason to report him.   But I just freaked the heck out when he told me.

You said in your post:

"One of the reasons that he was so chatty is that he can't use normal chat rooms or websites and found one by mistake."

If he can't use chat rooms he is breaking his probation by chatting with you.

LOL @ him e-mailing you his probation report as if that's something to be proud of. As Antoine Dodson would say, hide ya kids.

To be clear, he is using a chat attached to my email, so it is one on one not a chat room.  He is not violating his probation.  That's not my issue.  My issue is I've never ever been in this position before. So it's freaking me out.

No one "admits" to something like that without an "Agenda" he wants something. 

The next step is up to you.

I'm kind of tempted to keep talking to him to see if he'll tell me anything that the authorities ought to know, but then I think no good can come of it.   

Why get involved? I say cut communication immediately.

I just did.    Sickening.   Makes me really reconsider my online friendships now.   

Quote from: mixie on February 20, 2012, 02:18:44 PM
So so strange.  One of the reasons that he was so chatty is that he can't use normal chat rooms or websites and found one by mistake.  Also he's the member of another site that I go to.  Should I report it to them?

Yes report this disgusting pedophile dirt bag!!! From what I am to understand when it comes to pedophiles you can not rehabilitate them. once they get the taste of a child it's over for them and should never ever be let of prison once they get caught. I personally would have a few choice words for this dirt bag and then never talk to him again. All people who know this filthy scum bag should be warned of his presences.

How long was he chatting to you? If he *knew* he was breaking his probation, it wasn't just an accidental conversation, and still proceeded to chat to you then you may have to assume that he's been using this method to chat to others which could potentially open up a whole can of worms. Who else has he been in contact with? From how you described his view (i.e. he is the "victim") it seems he hasn't learned from his probation/therapy.

You done the right thing to ditch him, but i'd also see about giving his home police (the state police department from his report, if its there) and alerting them about this loophole.

I think that it's kind of rude to cut off this guy cause he made a mistake, or even by what he's sexually attracted to. How would you feel if it were you?

Pedophiles are human beings too. :I If I were you I'd continue the friendship.

Quote from: Heartwood (Alex) on February 20, 2012, 06:11:18 PM
I think that it's kind of rude to cut off this guy cause he made a mistake, or even by what he's sexually attracted to. How would you feel if it were you?

Pedophiles are human beings too. :I If I were you I'd continue the friendship.

But its totally understandable. I know I wouldn't want to keep-up an online friendship with a paedophile; or a  murderer, or a rapist. Even what he's doing, conversing with mixie, is breaking his probation and, ergo, the law, so you can't blame her for ending the friendship.

Quote from: Heartwood (Alex) on February 20, 2012, 06:11:18 PM
I think that it's kind of rude to cut off this guy cause he made a mistake, or even by what he's sexually attracted to. How would you feel if it were you?

Pedophiles are human beings too. :I If I were you I'd continue the friendship.

Pedophiles rape children, serial killers kill people. Most of them if not all of them do not get caught the first time out or the second time out, these people are pure evil. You let them out of prison they do it again until they get caught again.

Quote from: Heartwood (Alex) on February 20, 2012, 06:11:18 PM
I think that it's kind of rude to cut off this guy cause he made a mistake, or even by what he's sexually attracted to. How would you feel if it were you?

Pedophiles are human beings too. :I If I were you I'd continue the friendship.

I have to disagree with you bigtime.

I read mixie's original post. The guy said the little girls masturbated in front of him and he had no control. You know how many sick ass people were caught saying that on "To Catch a Predator?" Almost all of them made some excuse other than the truth.

Yes, Pedophiles are humans too....so are frigging Serial Killers but you wont see me sharing a Margarita with them anytime soon. I honestly worry about your selection of friends.

Quote from: Heartwood (Alex) on February 20, 2012, 06:11:18 PM
I think that it's kind of rude to cut off this guy cause he made a mistake, or even by what he's sexually attracted to. How would you feel if it were you?

Pedophiles are human beings too. :I If I were you I'd continue the friendship.

I know a pedophile personally and I agree with this. Despite this large flaw to his character, he is one of the greatest people I have ever met. He has been a very important person to me and has made a major improvement to my life as well as others. You can't judge a person entirely on their mistakes.

Yes, completely ignore and be glad he told you. I made friends with someone and met them at a coffee shop in RL, they seemed nice. I got home and googled their name, didn't really see anything about them but the name wasn't a very unique name. Then a friend told me to google >name< "wanted". Bam, this guy was on a wanted felon list with a $10,000 bounty on his head for fraud. You really have no idea who or what the people you meet online really are.

Quote from: mixie on February 20, 2012, 02:57:52 PM
I just did.    Sickening.   Makes me really reconsider my online friendships now.

That's good, you did the right thing.

He sent me an email after he thought I wouldn't contact him again.  I am horrified at what he sent me.   Sexy stories he's written about little girls seducing him.  I'm so stunned.   The things he's written?  He swears he's doing it for recovery.  I wrote that no man I know would ever be comfortable writing that a little did any of the things he described in the writing.

I am so upset right now.  I'm hysterical and numb at the same time.  This is partially a trigger for me.  And I just am STUNNED.  No anyone who is saying "they are people too" you have no idea. It's horrible.  It's not a mistake at all it's a willingness to cross boundaries that only evil would cross.


Sitting here shaking right now.