Would you have done things differently?  This could be prior transitioning, during transitioning, before surgery, after surgery, socially, family-wise, etc. you name it.  If the "you" right now could go back in time to talk to the past you, what advice would you give yourself back then?

I would have done a few things differently.

1.  I would have definately saved up more money at younger age and cut out useless video game and WWE ticket purchases.

2.  Avoided the cheeseburgers and sodas.

3.  Be persistant in telling my parents and sisters how I felt trapped in the wrong body and that I need treatment (although I'm sure none would have been given to me)

4.  I wouldn't have sold myself short.  When I found out I could transition I was so happy but then once I realized that there were needles involved, a RLE test I thought that I'd never be able to do those.  Also  having a mindset such as "Well he did it I bet he had to get the signature of the best doctor in every country along with the President's signature and he had to travel the desert for 40 days and 40 nights-if you happen to pass all of that and get top surgery you would still be fat so might as well stay a girl and save that money." was another major thing that help me back.  Damn I wish I would of have the confidence in myself back then so I could of started on number 1 sooner.


I'm curious to see what yall would have done differently.

I would have told myself that T does make a world of difference. Not getting bottom surgery doesn't make you any less of a man. Being shorter doesn't make you any less of a man. I would have also told myself to tell my family earlier so that maybe I could have already been on T. Lol and like you, maybe cut out some of the sweets and have done a feeeeew more sit ups and push ups >_< lmao but all in all I strongly believe that I will be more positive from now on an that things will get better and I'll be on T before I know it!

PS...you have inspired me to whip out Infamous and give it another go!!!!!! Lol I never finished it...now let's see what side I choose! >

I would have started T sooner then I chose to. I was convinced the changes would happen really quickly and i'd have to come out at work before I was ready too. Naturally, when I did finally start the changes weren't extreme in the first couple of months. Talking to others made me feel a bit silly I had let this hold me back. But oh well, this stuff takes time.

i don't know, man.... i mean i went through some horrible crap, but if i hadn't done things the way i'd done them, who would i be?  would i be myself as i know myself?  if i could personally go back and do things differently while retaining the knowledge of the choices i'd made, yeah, i'd do it all totally different, but by telling a younger version of me what transpired and what i should do, i wouldn't have had the experiences that shaped me. 

but in that scenario, where i retain those experiences, i'd complete school, avoid the drugs, stick at martial arts, learn guitar earlier, transition as a teen.  be nicer to my mum.  i went through a phase where i experienced intense, sickening regret, and ended up turning stuff like this over and over in my head, so i don't really like rehashing it, because i don't feel that regret anymore, but yeah, that's what i'd do. 

@Nick I feel you with the family stuff.  I doubt that telling them would have made me begin T any faster because their answers would be "pray about it" or "too bad, you're a girl" but I feel as if I told them then it wouldn't be as much as a shock when I tell them I'm moving to transition or whatever since I gave the multiple signs.  I definately would have worked out more but back then I had little to no motivation so now I try to cut back on bad foods and exercise more and drink water.  I have the same type of positive mindset as you about going on T.  I get happy just thinking about the day when I get my first T shot.  If I have my way then I'll move to FL to begin transitioning.  Oh and whip out that inFAMOUS and tell me what side you choose lol.     So many decisions!

@Logan1986  That is another reason I want to get on T as soon as possible.  I've heard of guy's who still get changes after 5-7 years so the younger I start, the better chance at healing it seems.  I'm not going to rush into it but I don't want to be just getting it at 30 or 35.  The sooner I can start living my life the way it should have been the better.

@schism  I understand where you are coming from.  Some of the things people go through can make them stronger people but at the same time it makes you kind of wonder where would they be had the experiences been different?  Would things remain better, netural, or worse?  That brings up another question.  Would our younger selves listen to our older selves?

I'd have not come out. I'd have waited to go to uni, moved out, started T and I'd have been done with some people in my life. Rather than expose myself to ridicule from my loved ones.

Quote from: Caseyyy on February 21, 2012, 05:26:46 PM
I'd have not come out. I'd have waited to go to uni, moved out, started T and I'd have been done with some people in my life. Rather than expose myself to ridicule from my loved ones.

I wouldn't blame you.  I want to do that.  I want to just get enough starting money and move away to transition so I don't have to take crap from people who are supposed to support me.  My sister and dad aren't cool with it and I'm sure my mom and oher sister won't be and I don't want to be around to deal with the people at my church about it so why not start a new life?  Then I can just tell whoever I need to tell through Facebook, email, or phone call and if they disagree then I just say ok, hang up, and be done with them.

I would have drank alot of Spearmint Tea til I could get on actual HRT.
..oh god and not spend money on so much useless ->-bleeped-<-.

I agree with schism - my experiences thus far have shaped who I am today, and, well it took me a while, but I actually really like him! But if I could go back to teenage me I'd say it's ok to feel the way I did. I would explain why I felt the way I did like the terms 'transsexual' etc and I'd tell myself to keep playing sport and stay fit - and not become the fatty I turned into...!! Hopefully that would allow me to avoid the depression I found myself in too...

I'd like to think my parents and family would be as supportive as they are now but as for getting on T earlier... I honestly don't know. Unless I would go right back to get E blockers and go through 'the right' puberty with all my other mates. But I honestly think I needed to get on T when I did. I live the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. That reason isn't always clear but it will be eventually.

But if I would be sitting here today as someone else - I wouldn't change a thing, pain, suffering, stupid decisions and lessons and all! Right down to spending too much coin on grog lol 

j.

Quote from: Aussie Jay on February 21, 2012, 06:31:00 PM
I agree with schism - my experiences thus far have shaped who I am today, and, well it took me a while, but I actually really like him! But if I could go back to teenage me I'd say it's ok to feel the way I did. I would explain why I felt the way I did like the terms 'transsexual' etc and I'd tell myself to keep playing sport and stay fit - and not become the fatty I turned into...!! Hopefully that would allow me to avoid the depression I found myself in too...

I'd like to think my parents and family would be as supportive as they are now but as for getting on T earlier... I honestly don't know. Unless I would go right back to get E blockers and go through 'the right' puberty with all my other mates. But I honestly think I needed to get on T when I did. I live the philosophy that everything happens for a reason. That reason isn't always clear but it will be eventually.

But if I would be sitting here today as someone else - I wouldn't change a thing, pain, suffering, stupid decisions and lessons and all! Right down to spending too much coin on grog lol 

j.

That's decent.  I admire that from you and schism in only wanting to improve instead of take back anything.   

I suppose I could have transitioned earlier if I'd been in the right space. But even in the nineties, lots of clinics and practitioners were having issues with the concept of a gay trans man. I don't know whether I'd have been allowed to transition, and that would have meant bouncing around until I found someone who would give me the green light. Or going off the grid and self-medicating. I sure as hell didn't want to do that.

I'll tell you what I would have done differently. I wouldn't have read the book I read in the winter of '88-89. The book showed me what I was, and then it dashed all of my hopes by telling me that transition would not improve my life and that only one thing could save me: intensive therapy so that I could accept myself as a woman.

This offensive little volume, written by a supposed expert with lots of clinical experience with trans men, was the first and only book of its kind, at least in the U.S. A real groundbreaker. And it did untold damage to me. I stupidly believed that this "expert" was right. He confirmed the suspicions I'd had since childhood: that I was mentally ill and deluded. That I was sick and twisted and perverted. Was I gullible to trust this guy's analysis of trans men? Perhaps, but he literally wrote the book.

I know I have to own my own life, mistakes and all. But I can't aim enough bile at this hateful, hurtful bastard. Thank you, Dr. Lothstein. Thank you so much for your contribution.

Quote from: Arch on February 21, 2012, 07:21:14 PM
I know I have to own my own life, mistakes and all. But I can't aim enough bile at this hateful, hurtful bastard. Thank you, Dr. Lothstein. Thank you so much for your contribution.

Just checked this guy out...ugh. I'm so sorry that was the first thing you had to read, Arch. That's crap. They even have it in my library at the university.

Quote from: Caseyyy on February 21, 2012, 10:10:07 PM
Just checked this guy out...ugh. I'm so sorry that was the first thing you had to read, Arch. That's crap. They even have it in my library at the university.

That's horrible!

Saved more money.  Told someone earlier about my gender.  Not gone through my different stages with sexuality and religion.  Taken better care of my body.  Not dated the person I did in high school.  Chosen a different career path.

Quote from: Adio on February 21, 2012, 10:32:10 PM
Saved more money.  Told someone earlier about my gender.  Not gone through my different stages with sexuality and religion.  Taken better care of my body.  Not dated the person I did in high school.  Chosen a different career path.

Religion and sexuality are things I forgot to mention.  I would have definately focused on my spirituality rather than religion back then and I would have adopted pansexual earlier for my sexuality.  I don't think I would of changed too much with my last ex. other than saving some revealing information.  It felt good to finally find a partner who accepted me and embraced me as male.  Hell it felt good just to find a partner.  Even though I found out that she was using me and never REALLY accepted me as a guy I would go through that experience again not because it made me a stronger person, but it just felt good even though it just wind up being "all sizzle and no steak" for the love.  Weird I know but I don't get that feeling too much.

I don't know.  I've known I was trans since freshman year of college (looking back I see clues my whole life, but I didn't actually think "I'm transgender" until college.  I think if I were to go back to freshman year of college, I'd like to know that it's not going to go away.  I put off my transition for over half a decade because I was hoping it'd just go away.   Sometimes I was able to go awhile without thinking about it, but something would always bring me back.  If I'd have known that, maybe I'd've transitioned in undergrad and be done by now.  But that's assuming I do know everything I know now.  If I were to go back without bringing the experiences I've had the past 7 years with me, I would wait.  I don't regret waiting at all because I wasn't ready then.  Now I'm ready.

I would have stopped allowing my family and religion to influence me in negative ways. I went too long bottling up everything, praying that I'd wake up "fixed" one day, and apologizing for something I should never have been sorry for.

I'd have come out to my friends much sooner. I wouldn't have been such a cheap and easy girl - I'd have let myself dress and act how I was actually comfortable in my teens, instead of waiting to move away, and wouldn't have let men use me because I thought it validated this being a girl I was convinced I had to do.

I would not have tried so hard to please everyone?

I would have had self-confidence, instead of self-doubt, self-loathing.

I would not have been so willingly accepting the opinons of others above my own.

I would have reacted differently when I was abused at school: I would not have kept it hidden.

I would have bought shares Apple when they where low.

I would have looked for help much earlier then I did.

It's very likely that in that case I would have had everything done already years ago.