i've had a rollercoaster ride with my mental health... in the past i've been diagnosed with schizophrenia. i want to make that clear before talking about my experiences so that you can choose to associate it with my mental health problems if you prefer. i myself spent a long time battling with the dichotomy between a simple throwaway explanation of being mentally unwell, or whether what i have experienced comes from a spiritual source. i am a natural skeptic, so i like to be aware of all possible avenues and explanations before drawing any conclusions. i'm always hesitant to talk about these experiences since they're pretty weird and frankly make me sound like a complete lunatic, so excuse me if i'm a bit vague on some details as i feel uncomfortable about sharing them.
i have very strong memories of what seem to be various past lives. some flashbacks have been so intense they were crippling, one in particular in feudal japan. the memories have manifested through dreams as well as visions that hit me while awake. for a while i was so upset by these memories i couldn't really function. when i was a kid i was terrified of a bomb dropping on the house, for weeks i was scared to go to bed, which later seemed to emerge as a past life from the blitz.
when i was very ill, amongst other things i would go into a daze and these god-entities would talk through me and write messages through me about the world, humans, the universe, DNA, as an intense information overload. one of the things they spoke about were past civilisations and the formative moments of spirit within physical bodies. they talked about ancient civilisations before the rise of our current modern society, dating back tens of thousands of years, and how experiencing life with the restrictions being placed in a physical form creates enables us to learn about ourselves in a way that couldn't be achieved through an incorporeal existence. that spirit exists to create and discover and seeks to experience all that is in every way possible. that spirit is infinite and we never stop learning, which is why people say that some people seem like old souls.
as i said, this stuff came out of me when i was really unwell, so it could just be part of the schizophrenia. i don't really know what i believe, i know what i saw and felt. there was a lot more spiritual and psychic stuff going on, but i don't really want to go into it. the memories and the feelings those memories produced are still incredibly real, it's just easier not to think about them now.
