My date for the surgery is coming and I am so scared. I guess it is normal. I kind of try to occupy constantly with doing things and not thinking about the surgery but at times it is stronger then me and I am just freaking out. Overall I have a very good feeling and I know I am doing the right thing but the feeling of anxiety is killing me. At times it occupies my mind totally and I kind of pray to god I just don't die in a Thai hospital and then I realize how irrational I have been and this feeling subsides. I am very happy that the transition will be over and scared at the same time. I feel like calling the doctor and change the surgery date for as soon as possible but I know it is impossible because of the hormons and everything so I don't have a choice but to keep waiting for a month...

Hi Swan,
This is quite normal for you to be anxious. Keeping yourself occupied is a good move, and perhaps thinking of what life is going to be like in 6 months, 2 years, 10 years, can help you focus on the positive aspects of this phenominal journey. Even writing down your thoughts and feelings can be quite theraputic, good to look back on in time to come.

Let us know how you are coping.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine