Hi   

I'm a 19 year old MtF who finally realized/accepted that I am actually a girl. I was kind of scared to research transgender information because of how society views, but for some reason after I came out as asexual half a year ago (online only though, I don't think it's a big deal to say it in real life, especially since not many people know what asexuality is, and it's not like my life would be changing lol ) I was finally able to get the courage and come to terms with myself (actually the funny thing is that is that I kind of came out as trans in my intro for the asexuality website I went to, even though I was still trying to convince myself that I was just a weird guy ). So recently I've been more girly around my family and started doing what I really wanted to do without being obviously out (I'm scared of how everyone will react). It's funny, I don't think I can actually go back to being my more "manly" self now, being a girl just comes so naturally to me and I'm happy that I'm finally doing things that I want to do

Anyway, I've basically wanted to be a girl ever since 2nd grade or so, however I knew that if I did give any signs of that I would probably have a bad school experience so I kept quiet. However, looking back, I don't think I did a great job of covering my inner girl up. I also had some pretty obvious signs that I wasn't a guy, like all the times that I prayed to wake up as a girl ( and of course this and money were the only things I really prayed for This was also back when I was religious, and I think my loss of faith was actually something I needed to start doing stuff about my life, if I was still religious I probably would still be praying instead of looking for help). 

I do have some doubt though, I've tried my best to get rid of it (I recently got a cute skirt and some nail polish. It turns out that I really love wearing both of them! I'm also taking a Psychology of Gender class too just to see how much of a guy or girl I am and so far I've been relating to girls more Sadly the doubt is still there), but I think I need therapy and hormones to make the doubt go away (if it ever does).

That's about it for my introduction, thanks for reading. Hopefully it was easy to understand, I'm a little bit of a scatterbrain so I won't be surprised if I ended up not finishing a sentence or something

Hi April,

Welcome Honey, you've come to the right place.
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Hi, and welcome to Susan's! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way   

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You are lucky to be starting off nice and young, and there are many young woman on site as well as us grannies.

So wherre in the world are you? I'm in Australia and we are just about at the end of summer now and it is very pleasant.

Hugs

Cindy

Hi there April! 

Welcome to Susan's. I am so glad you've found us. I see Cindy has gotten the jump on me here and welcomed you first. She is a very nice "granny".

I just love your positive attitude! Keep it up.

I am from South Africa and just like Cindy, we are also getting to the end of summer now.

Keep us posted please.

Huggs

Maegan

Hi April,
Another warm welcome form the Isle of Oz. Same place as Cindy, but she lives in the better part of it. We are too busy here getting our feet wet.

The good news is; IT DOESN'T GO AWAY. No matter what you do, it just keeps eating away at you until you do the right thing about it. Nor do I agree you are a scatterbrain. Your introduction was well put together and made a lot of sense. Most of us here have had the same or similar feeling to you.

When you are ready to take this to the next level; no rush; you've got a lifetime of living to do. Finding a therapist who is very familar with TG matters will serve you very well in being able to make a lot of sense of your feelings.

Aunty Cindy and Teenie-bopper Maegan (She claims to be a middle aged woman. I think her keyboard tells lies about her age. Wouldn't you think she is closer to your age? Not a day over 25 in my books ) Anyway, those two, and everyone else are more than happy to answer any question your heart desires. Except, when's the next B-B-Que. (I forgot the steak)

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Hi and welcome from another of the Gumleaf mafia.  I'm actually in the best part of Oz, but I won't let the others know that! 

Your intro was totally rational and explained your situation very well, so don't worry about it.  As Catherine said, it doesn't go away, so we might as well confront it head on and do whatever we feel is neccessary.  You are among friends here, so if you need to rant, or a shopulder to have a sook on, feel free.

Being 19 you are at a great advantage over us oldies, both in the fact that anything you do will work much better, and that the language to describe what you are experiencing actually exists, and there are people you can talk to.  Neither existed in the 60's or early 70's. Go Girl!!

Karen.

Hi April,

As often happens, the other Aussie ladies have beaten me to it, but welcome just the same..

That is a fairly cogent intro, nothing scatter-brained about it! Good to see you making a start on dealing with it all early..

Hugs,
Kelly

Hi April, it's nice to meet you! I live near Boston, waiting for spring here. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

@ Cindy: Thanks for the info Lol, you don't look that old. Oh, that's one thing I forgot to mention I'm from the United States, Colorado to be more exact. That's pretty cool you're from Australia I bet it's pretty nice there. Hugs.

@Maegan: Thanks I'm glad you like it, I try to be as positive as I can be That's cool, hopefully you're the kind of girl who enjoys the summer so it's a nice time of year for you. Hugs.

@Catherine: Thanks That's good, I love my girl self so much Lol, I guess I hid my scatterbrain-ness well. I'm glad the intro made sense, I usually ended up writing about one thing, then thinking about something else I want to say so I write that down and in the middle of writing I'll be listening to music or a youtube video and then sometimes I forget to end a sentence lol. That's good to know I'm not alone Yep, I kind of already found a therapist that I want to see (I haven't really emailed her or anything but her website says that she specializes in LGBT stuff so that was good to see). Lol, that's nice to hear the people on this site are great Hugs.

@justmeinoz: Thanks for the info and acceptance and stuff Lol. I'm happy you thought so. Yep, totally I just feel like I should take it a little slow since sometimes I go too fast into something and it doesn't always end up good lol. It's also great to talk to similar people Hugs.

@Kelly: Thanks That's good, I was afraid it might just be a jumbled mess since that tends to happen when I post at night when I'm watching tv or listening to youtube videos/music. Yeah, I still kind of wish I started dealing with it even earlier Hugs.

@Devlyn: Thanks I'm in Colorado and I'm waiting for Spring too! Hugs.

Sorry I'm a bit late to the party but Welcome to Susans!  Take a gander around and get to know some of the people.  These ladies are so sweet you have to keep a dentist on hand.  Nevertheless they will help you out with some things when needed.  I'm not too much older than you as I'm 20 and in S.C. so I'm looking foward to it getting a bit more warm.  Again, welcome to Susans and I hope to see you around!   

@ Malachite Thanks Lol, yep, it seems like the women are pretty nice, and you seem like a cool guy yourself. That's cool! Hugs.

Thanks I try to be -hugs-    I can be a big huggable teddy bear at times.