At the least, I am frustrated. Why? Because my doctor is an idiot who doesn't care about her patients. So many trans people go to her that she just cares about the numbers. It costs me more than a meal for two to see her for just around 5 minutes, just for her to say your test results are normal.

Why do I go here, its the only "low cost" clinic I know that provides HRT to those without insurance. I know a few guys that go to her clinic, and those guys know other guys, and we all talk. She started me on a low dose, which I was fine with because I figured she would up it after a few months, like most guys do. She has kept me on it and refuses to change it. I don't know exactly why, but she just says 'your dose is normal'. Which I know is not because every other guy who goes to her started on a higher dose and is on a higher dose than me, with the exception my intersex friend who no one knew was pre-t or even FAAB.

How do I know its too low? Well I really don't for sure because she doesn't test or monitor anyone's T levels. I had asked for a T level test, just to check, and paid for it, they drew blood for it...Then they gave me a run around, a few weeks later said they didn't have it. It got lost or something, they don't have the results. A little suspicious?...I said fine I want my money back, went through some bs...have not received it to this day. I have called and asked, I've left messages, and still more run around with this place.

My changes are super slow. Now I know everyone goes at a different pace, and everybody's body accepts T differently...But tell me, how is it that I was super hairy pre-t and haven't gotten much hairier? My body hair is barely darker. And I already had a noticeable mustache and sideburns pre-t, but they too have barely gotten any darker with the exception of a few thick hairs here and there. I've been patient, trust me I have. But for this amount of time to go by and me be way behind most of every other guy, I think there is something wrong here. I know you're not supposed to compare, but there are guys who had absolutely no facial hair at all pre-t and by 6-8 months they have full noticeable mustaches, sideburns, or chin beards. I still have baby hairs.

I know it also depends on genetics. I've looked at my moms brothers, they have facial hair. (don't know of my biologically father's, but I am and always have been the hairy mothereffer in my family) My cousins, who are around my age, also have facial hair.
Not just hair, but my voice has changed slowly and nothing really drastic.. I guess at least its in the male range.
My chest, had actually gotten bigger...which was most likely due to me gaining weight. Since working out, I think it has gone back to what it was pre-t. When everyone says their chest gets way smaller.
My hairline has not really changed, but I line it up to look more masculine.
Muscles don't really have definition, but I think they have gotten a little harder and a little bigger since pre-t.
My shoulders haven't gotten any broader.
Idk what other changes to say, but basically I feel that I am not where I'm supposed to be.

Whats weird is I got clocked as a boy pre-t, and passed most of the time where it wasn't age restricted, even when I talked.
Because of everything changing so slow, I went from being really happy and way more comfortable with myself, to being depressed and hating my body once again. I went from going out, meeting new people with confidence and self-esteem to staying home, not wanting to go anywhere.
I was frustrated, I was angry. At my doctor mostly.

But since then I've tried to accept that my doctor is...not a very good one, to say the least. And its my fault that I haven't switched doctors, or gotten a real T level test. The reason for this is, not much money, no insurance, and there's not many clinics around here that are lgbT friendly and offer HRT. I have since done some research and came across a hospital that offers HRT, so I've been looking into that. I just don't know how I would go about transferring doctors and what not, given im already on T its supposed to be easier to keep getting T.

All in all, being on T made me a better happier more confident self-loving me, but it only lasted for a little while. Then I went back, and even worse than pre-t, hating my body, bad dysphoria, no confidence, no self-esteem, sad, angry.
Since then, I've tried to overcome it all, and started to work out vigorously because I heard it helps move along the effects of T.
I've lost some fat, and inches. And I feel a little better about myself because I was getting really big.
So far, I have not experienced any T changes, I really haven't for months now.

Sorry for the long post, and thanks for listening if you read it.

I'm really sorry to hear that about your doctor.  I'm not sure why your dosage would be like that or why she wouldn't test your T levels.  How can she really know it's working properly for you without testing?  Even just once a year. 

Having your results get "lost" seems really suspicious to me.  Usually when that happens, the blood work is taken again, without charge.  Maybe instead of trying to get your money back, pressure them to test you again for free.  At the very least, even if your doctor doesn't want to see your levels, you could bring it to your next clinic/doctor as a reference.

I'd look into the hospital option.  It's possible that they have a sliding scale based on ability to pay or have a payment plan that can help.  Can't hurt to ask.

How long have you been on T for?

I know how frustrating it is with changes coming slow, but your not alone. I've been over a year on T and I feel I've had no positive changes at all. Everyone tells me I look exactly the same as I did pre-T. I still keep getting mis-gendered too. So I know how ya feel.

How often do you get your shot? It could be, (like me) the T is running out of your body by your next shot that's why changes aren't happening  as fast as it should be.

IDK, her excuse is that they cost a lot of money to run and basically are a waste of time.
Yeah, well I figured even if they ran the test they would tell me fake results because it is really suspicious.
And I agree, I found this guy that went there and said they do a scale. I just hope im in the age range for the treatment.

Ive been on T almost 11 months now, and I get my shot every week. And I feel that I look the same as pre-t also, because I still get recognized by people I havent seen in years D;

You should go to the doctor and tell her what dose you want to be on and why. Have something written down or typed up if that helps. If she insists your dose is "normal" ask her to show you what guidelines she's using.

Quote from: mic on March 07, 2012, 10:41:56 PM
IDK, her excuse is that they cost a lot of money to run and basically are a waste of time.
Yeah, well I figured even if they ran the test they would tell me fake results because it is really suspicious.
And I agree, I found this guy that went there and said they do a scale. I just hope im in the age range for the treatment.

Ive been on T almost 11 months now, and I get my shot every week. And I feel that I look the same as pre-t also, because I still get recognized by people I havent seen in years D;

Your doctor really should check your T levels so you know where your levels are. That way you can find out if your getting the amount of T you need or if your getting too much or too little.

Same thing happens to me too. I get recognized by people who I haven't seen in years too. It sucks, doesn't it? And frustrating too.

Quote from: mic on March 07, 2012, 10:41:56 PM
IDK, her excuse is that they cost a lot of money to run and basically are a waste of time.
Yeah, well I figured even if they ran the test they would tell me fake results because it is really suspicious.

You're legally entitled to your own records. This means that you're legally entitled to a copy of your labs as well. I doubt that they would tell you an outright lie--they're more likely to give you the runaround--but you can demand copies of your blood work.

And if you have a receipt for the blood work, then they have to provide the service you paid for, the service that they agreed to provide. (Or they can refund your money, if you prefer, but I should think that you'd want the results, since you went to the trouble of having the blood drawn in the first place.)

My GP and my clinic have both told me that T level tests are of limited value IF you're feeling well, getting reasonable changes, and healthy in other ways. But if you're unsatisfied with the changes, then it's not unreasonable to want to know how much T is in your system. However, do bear in mind that the "normal" T range is pretty broad.

Some answers to questions/complaints...

1. T-tests being not helpful: Generally TRUE! The cost of the blood work is about $300. It won't give you an accurate reading as T levels fluctuate through the week.
2. Looking the same: PLAUSABLE! I've been on T for almost a year and a half and people that haven't seen me in a long time know exactly who I am. People have also pointed out that I look the same from pre-T to 1 year (see below)


I have 4 brothers. The youngest is 19, and started growing a beard at around 16. All of my brothers are hairy in the face. The two younger ones have fuzzy faces and almost no body hair. I have a whole lot of tummy hair but hardly any facial hair.

I am in the same exact situation. I have increased anxiety and frustration with my inability to have any social changes. I'm frustrated with not passing, and if I didn't document my transition with audio and video, I would probably think I sounded and looked the same.

@Nygeel: I can see a little bit of change. You look the same, but a little bit more masculine.

11 months isn't really that long in the scheme of thing when looking at T related changes.

Do you have a Planned Parenthood near you? Even if it's a location that doesn't prescribe T, they might be willing to check your hormone levels if you explain the situation.

(And yeah, I know I'm starting to sound like a shill for PP. I bet half my posts are me telling people to go there when their docs suck. )

I don't get my T levels checked. I get a complete blood count, metabolic panel, and lipid profile every few months. I'm following my doctor's lead, as she has other ftm patients who love her, but I've only been on testosterone for a few months.

Quote from: Felix on March 07, 2012, 10:46:16 PM
You should go to the doctor and tell her what dose you want to be on and why. Have something written down or typed up if that helps. If she insists your dose is "normal" ask her to show you what guidelines she's using.

I could go and tell her that, but she would just laugh in my face and say no.

My doctor is a witch with a capital B. Very unprofessional. I think its because she's on a high horse.
If I told you the whole story of what happened at my last appointment, you probably wouldn't believe me. Basically she called bull->-bleeped-<- on why I missed my previous appointment, she made me feel guilty and like ->-bleeped-<-, to the point where I almost cried. The girl I was dating at the time was there with me to witness it, and told me 'you're never going back to her again, I don't like her at all'. I felt like complete crap that day, and thats when I started to feel like ->-bleeped-<- about myself and my transition.

Quote from: Dominick_81 on March 07, 2012, 10:53:47 PM
Your doctor really should check your T levels so you know where your levels are. That way you can find out if your getting the amount of T you need or if your getting too much or too little.

Same thing happens to me too. I get recognized by people who I haven't seen in years too. It sucks, doesn't it? And frustrating too.

I know the level spectrum is broad and what day of your last shot counts, but how do they test FAAB not on T or guys with low T levels?
And yeah it really sucks.

Quote from: Arch on March 07, 2012, 10:56:55 PM
You're legally entitled to your own records. This means that you're legally entitled to a copy of your labs as well. I doubt that they would tell you an outright lie--they're more likely to give you the runaround--but you can demand copies of your blood work.

And if you have a receipt for the blood work, then they have to provide the service you paid for, the service that they agreed to provide. (Or they can refund your money, if you prefer, but I should think that you'd want the results, since you went to the trouble of having the blood drawn in the first place.)

My GP and my clinic have both told me that T level tests are of limited value IF you're feeling well, getting reasonable changes, and healthy in other ways. But if you're unsatisfied with the changes, then it's not unreasonable to want to know how much T is in your system. However, do bear in mind that the "normal" T range is pretty broad.

They have the money as a credit I said I wanted it back and they told me I had to go down there in person that theres nothing they can do about it. Its pretty far for me, which costs a lot of gas money, not to mention my car isnt working right now.
Also, my family has a history of a lot of health problems and I mentioned this to her because she questioned me about it. She hasnt really been monitoring me in that sense. I dont know what labs they run, but I never see a copy of the results, just her saying everything is fine.

Quote from: Nygeel on March 07, 2012, 11:00:16 PM
Some answers to questions/complaints...

1. T-tests being not helpful: Generally TRUE! The cost of the blood work is about $300. It won't give you an accurate reading as T levels fluctuate through the week.
2. Looking the same: PLAUSABLE! I've been on T for almost a year and a half and people that haven't seen me in a long time know exactly who I am. People have also pointed out that I look the same from pre-T to 1 year (see below)


I have 4 brothers. The youngest is 19, and started growing a beard at around 16. All of my brothers are hairy in the face. The two younger ones have fuzzy faces and almost no body hair. I have a whole lot of tummy hair but hardly any facial hair.

I am in the same exact situation. I have increased anxiety and frustration with my inability to have any social changes. I'm frustrated with not passing, and if I didn't document my transition with audio and video, I would probably think I sounded and looked the same.

You do look more masculine though, I agree.
I guess I should be thankful that I pass. And I've documented my changes also, and thats what has kept me going.


There is PP near me, but none that work with transgenders. A friend of mine had asked her doctor to run a T level test in her name for me, but hasn't gotten back to me.

Thanks for all the replies guys.

Urg. I really hope you find a better doctor. What she's doing is the opposite of healthcare.