Last night, I was feeling particularly down about my gender issues and so I made a call to my therapist, the lds one, and we arranged a Skype session. When we finished, I "got off the phone" on Skype. Only we weren't really disconnected. She had only minimized the program to her task bar. She then proceeded to tell her husband, who had been listening the whole time, this is there conversation:
"He's really screwed up"
"He's talking to a bunch of transgender perverts online who want him to be like them"
"He knows he's really a man"
"Why would a man want breasts?
"He keeps talking about finding inner peace, he'll not going to find it"
"Now you know what I have to go through on my job"
"Well, at least we're getting paid for an hour and a half."
among other derisive comments.

Unfortunately Skype doesn't record calls, so I don't have any proof. I called my bishop late last night and by this morning, I had a phone call from her boss. He told me that corrective action would take place, but I'm still going to file a complaint with the Florida licensing board and hopefully she already has a bunch of complaints.

It just really infuriates me because transgender people have a really high suicidal rate, and something like this could really push someone over the edge.

What do?

What your therapist did was extremely unprofessional. It's too bad that Skype can't record sessions.

It seems to me that a therapist who uses Skype should from home should have a dedicated home office in which no one but the therapist may enter. This is just crass.

We've already told you to change your therapist several times.

 Humm. If only hiring assassins wasn't so darned illegal.


...

You didn't hear anything from me. ^.^

JD,

we told you two months ago she was violating your privacy and confidentially. We also told you that it wasn't a good idea to get counseling from a LDS therapist.....i think quite a bunch of us suggested this:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114301.msg874461.html#msg874461

You also told us in that same thread 2 months ago, your LDS therapist was telling your sister about your counseling sessions and we told you she was breaking ethical rules. So I have a couple of questions:

1. If your LDS therapist told your sister 2 months ago, what made you think she wouldn't do it again?
2. Why didn't you follow our advice? We been down that road. We are seeing warning signs from left and right but you have this thing about posting the same things over and over and people here have been pouring down words of wisdom and it's like you just ignore it and then a month later you will post the same issues.

If I were you, I would not have been shocked your LDS therapist did this as you told us she did this before. I am just curious why are you still with her???

Quote from: Annah on March 08, 2012, 12:30:44 PM
JD,

we told you two months ago she was violating your privacy and confidentially. We also told you that it wasn't a good idea to get counseling from a LDS therapist.....i think quite a bunch of us suggested this:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114301.msg874461.html#msg874461

You also told us in that same thread 2 months ago, your LDS therapist was telling your sister about your counseling sessions and we told you she was breaking ethical rules. So I have a couple of questions:

1. If your LDS therapist told your sister 2 months ago, what made you think she wouldn't do it again?
2. Why didn't you follow our advice? We been down that road. We are seeing warning signs from left and right but you have this thing about posting the same things over and over and people here have been pouring down words of wisdom and it's like you just ignore it and then a month later you will post the same issues.

If I were you, I would not have been shocked your LDS therapist did this as you told us she did this before. I am just curious why are you still with her???

I was wrong. Let me let you in on a secret about myself: I'm extremely stubborn and hard headed and I think I'm always right. Obviously those traits are coming back to haunt me.

I stayed with her because:
1. It's paid for by my church
2. It makes my family feel good knowing a person with church authority is "helping me" with my issues.

Well I'm not with her anymore, that much should be obvious. The LDS family services is finding me a new counselor in Orlando.

1. I gave the therapist permission to talk to my sister. What disturbed me was that she was telling my sister a completely different story than what she had told me in the counseling session. (That I wasn't 'really' transgendered, that it was just a phase, etc.) That's what I didn't like, not the fact that she talked to my sister which I agreed to.

2. I was having a terrible day and needed someone to talk to. My school therapist can't see me for over 10 days until after spring break is over, and I didn't have anyone else to talk to. She seemed like a safe haven to go to.

You are leaving her, which is good....but then you say that the LDS church is looking for a new counselor. You may not run into issues of your new therapist disclosing your information, but their advice is going to be very, very questionable.

I had been a Pastor for over ten years in a church VERY similar to the LDS. I can tell you based on experience and conversations I had with therapists in this sphere of influence, is that they will not make you come to peace with who you are. Rather, they will try to convince you that you are making a wrong decision. They will, in a way, pray the gay away.

They may tell you this up front or they may keep this from you but this is the driving force behind EVERY conservative religious therapist. I was there....I seen it happen countless of times.

Now that I am a liberal pastor, our church counselors are there to hope you find your way and to help you adapt to the issues you have. We also have transgender and gender therapists in our churches. They will never question the person's identity as what they see in the Bible. The only time they will question the path in which they are going is if that path is destructive to both them and their loved ones.

The LDS may send you to another therapist, but with the Mormon church, the therapy is going to have one course of action: to get you back on that right path and that right path is the recognition that you are not female (or whatever you are). If you aren't trans, the won't be able to even tell that to help you cope with alternative paths to give you peace. All they want is to bring you back to that glorious fold in heaven.

This isn't just my opinions or me just thinking out loud. I have been a pastor for over a decade. I pastored in churches from the Anglican church to the Assemblies of God church. I know how conservative religious therapy works because many used to work under me when I was a pastor in the more bigger churches.

See out a therapist who isn't tied to a conservative religion or a conservative political agenda. There are therapists out there who will only charge based on how much money you make.

Oh, and your new LDS therapist will say the same exact thing that your formal therapist did. They are not going to believe your trans status. They are going to think you are a boy who is confused and need God.

Matter of fact, I challenge you to do this: Your first meeting with your new LDS therapist, ask her or him "So, do you think I am transgender." I bet my year's salary that she or he will smile, nod, and say "well, we will work on that soon ok?" (or something eerily similar).
You really need to discern about this.

Free isn't always good or helpful.  Any therapists opinions are colored somewhat by their life experiences.  I don't think any can be "totally" objective.

A therapist that is aligned with a church will usually color their responses with doctrinal overtones.

You would be much better served by finding your own therapist.

If you decide to transition and then find yourself attracted to a man that would be natural and probably very nice for you but the zealots of the LDS woudl call you a ->-bleeped-<-got and make life a misery so you really need to choose between LDS and your life.

I can't believe that another LDS selected therapist is going to be any better as LDS = transphobic bigots.

Hey jdinatale, just want to let you know that I think your a good person, innocent and yes hard headed. lol. (Wasn't in a bad way. 🙂 ).  All the people on here are giving you really good advise so try it. Try It. TRY IT. lol. 

So anyways regardless what you are "No matter gay, straight or bi, Lesbian, transgendered life" (lady gaga coming on. lol). But anyways, no matter what you are, you have a sex issue (whether its gender related, cross dressing, masturbation. IDK whatever it is) and you need to see a therapist that deals with those issues. A general therapist will probably not help you as much, don't take that chance. I went to a few therapists, psychiatrist (all general), and they had no experience in it. So look for a sex therapist that deals with the issues "No matter gay, straight or bi, Lesbian, transgendered life"(gosh ..) . But really find a therapist that had successful clients with related sex issues like yourself. If they haven't done anything on what your dealing with before (EXPERIENCE), don't let them be your first experiment. I truly wish you the best. I can only show you a way and this "way" doesn't mean your going to come out transgender because you might not be. But it just means that if you see a sex therapist that deals with these types of issues, your chances are a lot, A LOT, higher on getting this problem solved. I really don't want to see you 15 years later still struggling with the same problems. I would hate to see that happen to you or anyone.


Many hugs,
Harley

JD,
  My LDS in good standing aunt is accepting of my situation.  I don't know about the rest of her ward though, if she has told them, I doubt it.  I still do the caretaking at her cabin as well.  But reading this thread I am wary of the LDS provided therapists.  These are faith-based and do not conform to the standards of care the secular therapists abide by.  My mother dated a psychologist who was LDS.  He did some free therapy sessions as his charity mandate by the LDS.  He was abiding by the standard of care on his day job, but leaned towards the church when he did his charity sessions.
  Joelene

Quote from: Beverley on March 08, 2012, 01:26:44 PM
A question...

Are there any trans folk who are active Mormons?

Beverley

I believe poster "rosetyler" is active LDS