I work retail, most everyone knows I'm gay, and I only just came out as trans to two of my really close friends t work, they were told and trusted to not tell anyone.

I ran into a trans woman I know today at work, she came in and I recognized her from the gay group.  She is awesome, totally sassy and hilarious, I think she is really pretty and IMO she passes, he is a little tall, a little non curvy, but I think she is a beautiful person.  I dont know her that well, but she spoke at gay group about trans issues and I just really liked her from the start.

anyway, I came up to her and said "umm, I think I know you.. (insert gay groups name here)" and she says "ohh yeah!" gives me a hug etc.

I have to get back to work and she and her friends shop around a bit.

After closing, we are all waiting to be let out.  Then Trey (straight, high school guy) says to everyone "hey, did anyone see that ->-bleeped-<-? that he-she? she was hitting on me.. blah blah blah"

Instantly I just I dunno, saw red but I froze up I wanted to say "that is extremely ignorant, she is my friend and she is actually a really nice person"

after he walked away and Brandi and I waited with our boss for the alarm to go off, brandi says to me "why do you look so pissed off?"

I said "because I know her, and shes actually very sweet, and i think its really rude to call someone a he-she"

my boss says "yeah, I saw you talking to her earlier, you guys need to tell me when people say stuff like this, this is a new age etc"

brandi drove me home, I saw still shaking (shake when I am mad) she says "dont worry about it, hes just a dumb, young virgin"

I fight the urge to tell her the other reason why I am so mad (in insulting a trans woman, he insults me and my bf too) but I dont tell her because she seems to like gossip.

I am just so angry, trying to calm my nerves by sharing it, I wish I had spoken up and not been a wuss, but I just froze.  I guess its a good thing, I wouldnt want a fight at work or anything.

There have been times where I've been in similar situations and just froze.  However it wasn't out of anger, but embarrassment and fear.  Of course I'm angry when someone says crap like that about trans people.  I'm just terrified of others figuring out my history by my standing up for others.  Which is ridiculous and shouldn't prevent me for doing it...but it does   I also have similar issues about standing up for gay people because I'm also...I dunno. :/

That guys seems like an ignorant high schooler.  If it happens again, I'd let the manager handle it like they said to do.  Definitely don't want a fight at work.

yeah, I will tell my boss if I hear anything like that again.

I should be glad though for the most part.  Everyone at work who knows I'm gay has taken it very well, like this guy who wants to go to the military who I thought would be homophobic, when he found out he said "oh cool, I was just curious, hey, i have a gay friend and didnt even know it"

and another guy who said "hey, elijah is gay isnt he? I thought so, I was just wondering"

as much as I hate it, it is probably better to freeze up when I get mad anyway, you never want a fight, and people like that wont be reasoned with anyway, so it wouldnt be helping the community at all.

If you don't stand up, who will?

Sometimes you have to file away the event and use it as a learning experience for next time. Rehearse what you would do, perhaps. It can be difficult to respond when it's happening unexpectedly.

Also, you can bring it up later to the person and say, "I didn't want to put you on the spot with other people around, but..."

i think what you did was the best thing to do, i would have gotten really pissed and punched him in the face (as long as he wasnt a big guy.)

If most people know you're gay they probably would link that to you standing up for the girl, if they wonder why you'd do that at all. Keep in mind people have a foggy and incomplete understanding of most things they themselves are not a part of. But they certainly hear the acronym "lgbt" a lot and probably assume everyone under that umbrella is (intimately) familiar with one other's struggles. I doubt their thought process would go as far as to suspect you're trans.